To The Tune Of: "Banned From Argo" by Leslie Fish
Disclaimer:(From Archivist) Standard stuff, this is for
entertainment purposes only, Marvel owns the characters within, Dannell owns
everything else, no money is made, as, like I said, this is for entertainment
purposes only.Right, that said, on with the show. (Archivist
wanders away muttering about disclaimers and anal
retentiveness...)I picked up the latest X-Book, in need of my x-fix, So I set out
investigating every strange new kick, I had high expectations of their
readability, But found it wasn't geared for dino's such as
And they've canned the X-Men, every one,
X-Men; the Movieverse has won,
I spent a jolly childhood with them there,
with mutants I adore,
Now the X-Men do not want me anymore!
Xavier's Dream is simple but his methods are complex,
We found him with five
Summers, each from a different time and next,
Onslaught, he was coming, we
did not dare to miss,
Well, we saved him, then, thank all the gods, but now
comes Evil Sis!
Our proper, cool Field Leader, he fell in
Absorbed by Apocalypse, where he suffered things obscene.
rescued him at last, and now he's none the worse for wear,
Except that now
he's somehow taught Cerebro how to swear.
Our Beast he is
a changin' so, he's now bulky and feline;
They say he is still mutating and
so hope that we won't mind.
We tried to keep our tempers but, it's something
to wince at,
We want the Real McCoy back and not this phony
What have they done to Lady Jean, our psychic
maiden so fair?
She's left her dearest hubby and is really on a great
She has become an awful witch, but Scott he does not care,
Logan beats his time; believe it if you dare!
he is dead and gone, at least that is my guess;
At long last he is at peace
and away from all this mess.
He's no longer mad and raving, no longer out of
But, Oh My Dear God, what's this? Oh no! They've brought him
Oh, Gambit loves humanity, his private life is
He got himself arrested for inciting whores to riot.
We found him
in the city jail, piled in and set him free
, Intact except for hickeys, and
six kinds of V.D!
Oh Colossus, he is dead but, well, no
one seems to care,
And so I have to ask myself, now, just how can that be
So, now he's gone and sacrificed himself for the greater good,
left him there, without their care; they did not do what
Nightcrawler, he's become a priest; now,
at least that what we hear;
He struggled with his soul and then, then, he put
aside his fear,
Oh, he is with us still despite all of Xavier's
Someone should have told the writers - such training, it takes
(Chorus) Our Wolverine, he yields to none at putting down the
He out drank most of Madripoor and all the Avengers, too,
he has changed a lot, now he's taller and more mean,
His honor is long gone,
lost with a reborn letch for Jean!
are Marvel's finest, but our writing skills have died,
And when we plot we
tend to leave big holes a mile wide.
We're sorry 'bout the wreckage and the
changes and the fuss;
At least we know the X-Men won't be quick forgetting
And we've banned the X-Men, every one,
X-Men; the Movieverse has won,
You spent a jolly childhood with them there,
with mutants you adore,
Now the X-Men do not want you anymore!