X-Dino's Lament



Dannell Lites





To The Tune Of: "Banned From Argo" by Leslie Fish

Disclaimer:(From Archivist) Standard stuff, this is for entertainment purposes only, Marvel owns the characters within, Dannell owns everything else, no money is made, as, like I said, this is for entertainment purposes only.Right, that said, on with the show. (Archivist wanders away muttering about disclaimers and anal retentiveness...)


I picked up the latest X-Book, in need of my x-fix, So I set out investigating every strange new kick, I had high expectations of their readability, But found it wasn't geared for dino's such as me...

(Chorus:)
And they've canned the X-Men, every one,
Canned the X-Men; the Movieverse has won,
I spent a jolly childhood with them there, with mutants I adore,
Now the X-Men do not want me anymore!

Oh, Xavier's Dream is simple but his methods are complex,
We found him with five Summers, each from a different time and next,
Onslaught, he was coming, we did not dare to miss,
Well, we saved him, then, thank all the gods, but now comes Evil Sis!

(Chorus)

Our proper, cool Field Leader, he fell in battle keen,
Absorbed by Apocalypse, where he suffered things obscene.
We rescued him at last, and now he's none the worse for wear,
Except that now he's somehow taught Cerebro how to swear.

(Chorus)

Our Beast he is a changin' so, he's now bulky and feline;
They say he is still mutating and so hope that we won't mind.
We tried to keep our tempers but, it's something to wince at,
We want the Real McCoy back and not this phony Vincent!!

(Chorus)

What have they done to Lady Jean, our psychic maiden so fair?
She's left her dearest hubby and is really on a great tear.
She has become an awful witch, but Scott he does not care,
And so Logan beats his time; believe it if you dare!

(Chorus)

Now, Magnus he is dead and gone, at least that is my guess;
At long last he is at peace and away from all this mess.
He's no longer mad and raving, no longer out of whack,
But, Oh My Dear God, what's this? Oh no! They've brought him back!

(Chorus)

Oh, Gambit loves humanity, his private life is quiet;
He got himself arrested for inciting whores to riot.
We found him in the city jail, piled in and set him free
, Intact except for hickeys, and six kinds of V.D!

(Chorus)

Oh Colossus, he is dead but, well, no one seems to care,
And so I have to ask myself, now, just how can that be fair?
So, now he's gone and sacrificed himself for the greater good,
They left him there, without their care; they did not do what they
should!

(Chorus)

Nightcrawler, he's become a priest; now, at least that what we hear;
He struggled with his soul and then, then, he put aside his fear,
Oh, he is with us still despite all of Xavier's tears
Someone should have told the writers - such training, it takes years!
(Chorus) Our Wolverine, he yields to none at putting down the brew,
He out drank most of Madripoor and all the Avengers, too,
But, Logan he has changed a lot, now he's taller and more mean,
His honor is long gone, lost with a reborn letch for Jean!
(deja vu!)

(Chorus)

Oh, we are Marvel's finest, but our writing skills have died,
And when we plot we tend to leave big holes a mile wide.
We're sorry 'bout the wreckage and the changes and the fuss;
At least we know the X-Men won't be quick forgetting us!

(Chorus:)
And we've banned the X-Men, every one,
Banned the X-Men; the Movieverse has won,
You spent a jolly childhood with them there, with mutants you adore,
Now the X-Men do not want you anymore!

(I wonder why...)