SPIFFY DISCLAIMER THINGIE!!!

Ah don't own them Marvel does:):) And Ah ain't making a plug nickel for this so if'n ya'll sue moi not only are ya'll not gonna get anything but Pietro and Jamie are gonna be right *peeved*:):)

Rated F for FunnyBone! And PG-17 for M/M sex! So if'n that sort of thing bothers ya'll skedaddle!

Ah take absolutely no responsibility for this story! There Ah was rooting around on The Requested Pairing Board and Ah came across this little gem of an idea! Mercy! Ah'n not exactly sure this is what the Requester had in mind, but ... Here it is! Ya'll HAVE been Warned! Take shelter immediately, Sugah!

The Red Queen's Race

OR: The Bantam Cock by Dannell Lites

A Quicksilver/Multiple Man SillyFic

He jumped my giggling guinea fowl,
He thrust his attentions upon
My twenty hysterical turkeys and
A visiting migrant swan,
And the bantam cock thundered on.

He jumped my fantail pigeon doves,
And my lily-white columbine,
And his eye was lodging on my budgerigar
As he took my parrot from behind -
He was setting on my shoulder at the time.

Then all of a sudden with a gasp and a gulp
He clapp'd his wings to his head.
He fell flat on his back with his feet in the air-
My bantam cock was dead!
And the vultures circled overhead.

What a fine young bird, what a champion cock,
What a way to live and to die!
But as I dug him a grave to protect his bones
From those hungry buzzards in the sky
The bantam opened up a sly little eye.

He gave me a wink, and a terrible grin
The way that rapists do.
He said, "Do ye see them great daft buggers up there?
They'll be down in a minute or two, they will!
They'll be down in a minute or two!
"The Bantam Cock", Anonymous

"A slow sort of country," remarked The Red Queen. "Now here, you see, it takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place! If you want to get somewhere else you must run twice as fast!"

Alice Through The Looking Glass, Chapter Two, "The Garden Of Live Flowers"

"Come on, Pietro," urged Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, with a teasing smile, "You're falling behind again, buddy! I thought you were the fastest man alive! Five of me are still waiting for your attention!" Beside him five identical Jamie's licked their lips in anticipation.

Pietro Maximoff, sometimes better known as the superfast mutant Quicksilver, gritted his teeth and groaned amicably. Beneath his speeding body one of Madrox's duplicates groaned as if in concert, arched his back and climaxed loudly. On either side of their fellow Jamie, two more of his twin clones cried out and came as loudly and enthusiastically as their other selves under Pietro's swift, caressing hands.

"Ow, ow!" cried one Jamie, fanning himself frantically. "Friction burns! Friction burns!" exclaimed the other. "Take it easy, fella!" Reluctantly Pietro reduced his speed.

Pietro waited politely for the Jamie currently enjoying the delightful benefits of his flashing tongue and lips to moan his way to completion before he answered.

"Have you ever investigated the possibility of sonic powers being amongst your mutant gifts, my friend?" he inquired archly. Briefly, before reaching out for two more of Jamie's duplicates with his skilled fingers, he covered his ears. "The din!" he complained.

Pietro trembled with his own release as the Madrox whose long legs were wrapped about the silver haired mutant's hips, clung even more tightly to his back then came explosively with a great ululating cry.

Only three more to go!

Another fresh, eager Jamie helped his panting, spent brother to the floor and took his place. Lapping and nibbling at Pietro's earlobe like a great cat he began humming "Back In The Saddle Again" in a decidedly off key voice as he slipped his body into Pietro's. The superfast mutant was tempted to cease his loving ministrations to the two new Jamie's who slid their lusty bodies forward and arched themselves into the grasp of his pistoning hands, but he reconsidered. No time. Within moments the two lively youths were moaning and gasping in pleasure.

Only one more to go!

The annoying humming in his ear continued. Pietro's eyes narrowed in suspicion. That hot breath, those nipping teeth were quite familiar. Not to mention the tune. Could it be ...?

"That's cheating!" Maximoff declared accusingly between gritted teeth. "This is his second time around! I recognize that song!" The Jamie who was currently busy at work switched tactics, lifting his mouth from more southerly regions, and tried to silence the irritated mutant with a kiss. Pietro was having none of *that*. Increasing his pace, the Ex-Avenger stroked harder and deeper yet until the Jaime who was trying to distract him with a kiss writhed beneath him. Then, with a great shout the duplicate was spent and silent.

"The bet was," Pietro reminded The Multiple Man tartly, one silver eyebrow lifted in elegant pique, "that I could satisfy them faster than you could duplicate them. Giving any of them more than one turn is unfair! I protest!"

"More than one turn?" Jamie was all innocent surprise. "Now would I do something like that?"

Pietro snorted hot, disdainful derision for his reply, but, nevertheless returned his attention back to the task at hand. With a stylish flourish, he arched his slim hips, stroking even faster. The Jamie beneath him quivered and buried his teeth in Pietro's neck as he bellowed out his passion.

Done!

But when the mutant speedster looked up in triumph he was greeted by an ugly sight. With a rapidly sinking heart (and other sinking body parts) Pietro watched as a grinning Jamie Madrox slapped himself soundly on his naked buttocks.

And five more of him appeared.

Gingerly, Pietro touched the hickey forming on the pale flesh of his sleek neck and pointed an accusatory finger at Madrox.

"You didn't tell me you bite!" he snarled. "And you've GOT to do something about the noise! I'll be deaf before I'm done!"

"You'll be exhausted!" Jamie smirked. "And are you trying to tell me that Crystal never makes any noise? I don't think so! Or is that Lockjaw I hear howling every night from your apartment?"

With a will The Multiple Man threw himself to the floor and writhed as if in the throes of strong passion. "OOOOO, yes! Ohhhhh Pietro! Yes, yes! Right there!" he moaned in a high falsetto.

"Don't force me to bring up Polaris!" came Pietro's dark threat. Jamie sprawled, chin in hand.

"Hey!" he cried, working hard to appear innocent (no small task considering the state of his arousal), "is it *my* fault if the lady likes variety?"

"Not to mention large numbers!" sniffed Pietro. Displaying a decided air of pride, he pointed to ten of Jamie's satiated clones recumbent on the floor.

"Quality over quantity any day, my friend!" Quicksilver boasted.

The multitudinous mutant assumed an air of hurt pride "That's not what you said last night," Madrox pointed out.

"Last night was a Toga Party," Pietro excused himself, "what did you expect?"

"I'm not going to have to hear about Roman Columns beneath your toga and hot, bursting Roman Candles again am I?" demanded Jamie, faking a yawn to demonstrate his opinion of that subject.

"Are you gonna give up now, or what?" Jamie crowed, his hand once poised over the cheeks of his waiting buttocks.

"Yes, yes," cried Pietro, throwing his hands into the air in defeat. His shoulders slumped and he looked quite despondent. Jamie was still smug with victory when Pietro laughed and moved.

At superspeed, of course.

Within moments the youthful Madrox was bound securely head and foot virtually unable to move and thus replicate himself once more.

"Hey!" his indignant cry was heartfelt. "No fair!"

"'All's fair in love and war', says The Bard," Pietro chuckled.

"Screw Shakespeare!" seethed Jamie, struggling to free himself.

"Sorry," Pietro murmured, "I'm afraid he's not available at the moment." He eyed Jamie's anxious, bright eyed clones speculatively and grinned a lascivious grin.

"But *you* are," he said, "I'll be right back!"

Jamie frowned in alarm.

"Hey" he called out to Pietro's swiftly retreating back. "Untie me! You can't leave me like this!" Turning, Maximoff retraced his steps and crouched by the side of his helpless captive. He licked the shell of Jamie's ear enticingly. Oh damn ... The Master Of Speed *did* intend to leave him ...

"Yes, I can ..." the silver haired mutant whispered to Jamie. "I can do whatever I like ... Who's going to stop me?" The Multiple Man tried to kick him but his bonds prevented that. Just as Pietro knew they would ... He drew a pocket knife from the disheveled pile of his clothes. With a mocking smile Pietro lay the small knife on Jamie's naked chest.

"Think of it as a challenge," he advised and teased a hardening nipple. "You'll find your way free," he assured Madrox as he rose again. "And if not ... relax and enjoy the show," he grinned.

"AK!" choked Jamie. "You sadistic *fiend*! I'll die of frustration!"

"Then get to work," the speedster counseled sagely, gathered two of Jamie's delighted clones in his embrace and went to work himself.

Gusting a resigned sigh, Madrox smiled and began maneuvering for the knife with his teeth. If he could just get a firm hold on it ...

By the time Jamie had freed himself Pietro had the situation well in hand ...

And feet ... and lips ... and *other* appendages ...

Throwing caution to the whistling wind, Madrox looked up to find Pietro busily applying chocolate to the moaning body of two of his duplicates and then licking it off.

"His idea of finger painting," Jamie summized with wide eyes. Vividly, he imagined the touch of those lips on her own body. Like a soldier on recon, The Multiple Man slipped around the huge pile of writhing bodies, considering the frolicsome array from all angles, searching for an opening. Several loud cries of joy issued forth followed by fervent cursing and a strident "Will you BE QUIET?" I certainly seem to be enjoying myself, Jamie observed ... hmmmmm ... where to start ...? His eyes ghosted down the length of The Fastest Man Alive's tall, slim body and came to rest on his muscular buttocks. Jamie broke into an evil grin.

"I always did like a moving target," he sighed.

Dipping one finger in the near by fondue pot of warm chocolate, Jamie carefully drew a large smiley face on each of Pietro's butt checks.

The End!!