Magda, Aletys And Belle
By Dannell Lites
To The Tune Of" "Alma" by Tom Lehrer
The sexiest guy in the X-Books
Was Magnus the smartest as well
Once you spy that most magnetic of looks
You'll never be free of his spell!
His lovers were many and varied
From the day he began his beguine
There were three favored ones where he tarried
And God knows how many between!
Oh, Magnus, tell us!
Poor Charlie Xavier is jealous
Which of you're magnetic spells
Got you Magda, Aletys and Belle?
The one whom he married was Magda
Who always would just call him Eric
And each time he saw her he's cry, "Ja!
Ach, that is the frualien I'll marrik!"
There marriage, however, was murder
He cried to the heavens aloft
"I'm saving Anya so they won't hurt'er!"
And she only wants to run off!"
Oh, Magnus tell us!
Poor X-Man Gambit is jealous
Why couldn't his Cajun brogue
Bag him, Magda, Aletys or Rogue?
("Hey chere! Remy he got de accent, too!")
While working for spies he met Isabelle
And soon he was hunting for Nazi's
Belle died and his teardrops sad to tell
GHe cried all the way to his new squeeze!
But work with Control was a headache
And really quite painful just then
He said, "I think I've made a big mis-take
It's time that I switched sides again!" (... and again, and
Magnus, tell us!
Poor Wolverine he is jealous
Which of your magnetic charms
Set off so many female alarms?
While drowning at sea he met Lee, yet!
And she too soon felt his caress
She bedded him but she had re--grets
'Cause Magnus was not Scottie S!
And that is the love life of Magnus (So far!)
Who knows how capture what he would
He's searching around for a new crush ...
And By The Eternal, Jean's looking good!
Magnus tell us!
How can they help being jealous?
Good guys just envy the spell
That got Magda and Rougie
You gorgeous ol' fogie
Oh, Magda, Aletys and Belle!