By: Dannell Lites
To The Tune Of: "Be A Dentist!"

Scott: When I was younger, just a sad little kid

My Daddy noticed funny things I did
Like shouting orders at my teddy bear
I'd lecture teddy to show that I care
And I'd really stress over the color red
That's when my Daddy said:

X-Babies: What did he say??

Scott: He said, "My boy, I think someday

You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be an X-Man!
You have a talent for suffering pain!
It will pay you to shoulder the blame!

Your temperament's wrong for The FF

Avenging would suit you still less
Be an X-Man!
You'll be a success!

X-Women: Here he is, girls -- the first X-Man

Watch him de-cry his fate!
Oh my God! He's an X-Man!
And he'll always wallow in angst!
Now who wants their life saved by angsting mutie scum?

Scott: Ouch! That hurts! Where is my son(s0?

Oh, help me!
Brooding's no fun!
I am an X-Man! I am bemoaning!

And great God how I loathe the career that I've picked!

I get off on the pain I self inflict
When I start with pity
By God, there's no quitting!
And thought it causes me so much distress
Somewhere in space up above
I know!
I know that my Daddy's proud of me .. Oh, Daddy!
'Cause I am an X-Man and a success!
Say, "Bye!"
Now, cry!

The End!