Batman's Ballad
By Dannell Lites
To The Tune Of: "The Streak" by Ray Stevens

SPOKEN: Yes, Commmisoner? What? You say the Joker's escaped from Arkham! Again!? But .. I just put him away! Can't you people hold on to your criminals??

(Here he comes)

So watch out, so watch out!
(There he goes)
So watch out, so watch out!
(And he's wearing spandex)

Whoa, yes they call him Batman!

(So watch out, so watch out!)
Baddest dude in Gotham!
So watch out, so watch out!
He's just as mad as he can be about crime and it's spree
He will fight it with glee
Oh, yes they call him Batman!
(So look out, so look out)
And, good Lord, he does it for free!
(So watch out, so watch out)
Now if there's any crooks to be found
He'll be sneakin' A-round ensurin' public safety

(He ain't insane)

(Oh my God, oh my God)
(He's after Bane)
(Oh my God, oh my God)
(It's just a damed shame that they're all the same)

Whoa, yes they call him Batman!

(Oh my God, oh my God)
He likes to scare crooks and then fight
(Oh my God, oh my God
He's always bustin' up bars wearin' latex and kevlar
Well, you can call him Dark Knight!

SPOKEN: No, no ... don't tell me! The Riddler this time, right? Why am I *not* suprised? Jim, this has got to stop! I put them away and you people let them escape. Arkham is a joke! Why not just install a revolving door on the damned place and be done with it? (long pause) What do you *mean* why can't I seem to keep my hands on the Catwoman or Poison Ivy?? Donpt you think that's kind of a personal question? Now, THAT was rude! Jim? Jim??

The End!