title: the Vows we Break
fandom: Hikaru no Go
characters/pairings: Shindou Masao/OMC(s), Shindou Mitsuko, Hikaru/Akira, Touya Akiko & Kouyo
rating: Mature
warnings: sex, cheating, stabbing
summary: Shindou Masao has a midlife crisis, which may or may not have something to do with his son.
notes: written for the hikago big bang. this is essentially original!fic, given that it primarily revolves around a character than never appears in the manga or the anime. for anyone willing to take a chance and read it anyway, i deeply appreciate it. i've written Shindou Masao as gay before, so that idea has somewhat been in my head for a while. this fic could be seen as a sequel to 1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes, though it would be the most absurd sequel ever, since that fic was 357 words, and this one is over 55,000.


His mother held the door open as he carried in the box. "Thank you," he smiled at her. She seemed smaller than the last time he saw her, but that was a trick of the mind, he was sure. It had been a long time since he'd been home.

"Don't think anything of it," his mother assured him.

"Are you sure you don't mind storing these?" Masao asked her.

"Don't be silly!" she laughed. "Your room is mostly empty now."

"I haven't lived here in over two decades," he chuckled. "I don't think it's really my room anymore."

"And you're not moving back in!" his father yelled out from the veranda.

Masao narrowed his eyes, and bit the inside of his lip to keep from saying anything. He followed his mother to the room that used to be his. His mother was now using it as a sewing room. His mother cleared a few things to make more room for him. "It's all right. I don't have much."

"It must be difficult, separating all your things after so long," she sighed.

"Not really," he smiled. "Most everything in the house is something Mitsuko picked out. I don't have any reason to take things like that from her."

"Is it really all right? Where you're staying? Just ignore your father, if you need to come home..." she offered, worrying.

"No, no, it's fine," he shook his head. Coming back to live with his father... there was absolutely no way. "It's basically a hotel."

"What about food? Are you eating?" his mother pressed.

"Do I look like I'm starving?" Masao laughed. He went over and squeezed his mother's shoulder. "Don't worry so much! You'll get wrinkles."

His mother frowned at him, and sighed. "Well, come home sometime and let me feed you. I'll feel better if I can see you eat with my own eyes. You should stay for dinner today!"

"Oh, no, I... I already have some plans..." That was a lie. He was good at it, wasn't he? "And don't worry," he rushed on. "I won't be taking up space here for long. I'm looking for a place of my own, it's just, well, with work and all..." he smiled brightly. That was another lie. He wasn't too busy to find a place. It was just too depressing. He kept looking for apartments near Jun's place...

"You're a worrisome boy. You always have been! If you need more space, you know, it's really fine. There's always that old storehouse..." his mother began.

Masao waved his mother off. "No, no, it's not necessary. Besides, that place is haunted."

"Oh, Masao," his mother laughed. "You don't really believe that!"

"It's true! I heard it moaning when I was a child!" he shivered a bit. No one ever believed him!

He finished bringing in his boxes. There were only three all together, anyway. He fit them away so they wouldn't bother his mother, as much as possible. When he was done, he found his mother in the kitchen, preparing tea. She turned to smile at him. "Did you get everything? Are you sure there's nothing else?"

"It's fine," he assured her. "Thank you for the use of the space. I promise, it won't be for too long."

"Take as long as you need," she immediately replied.

"Don't tell him that," his father interjected. He pushed past Masao, and sat down at the table. "He'll clutter the whole damned house up with his junk!"

"You don't need to worry yourself, father," Masao sighed. "I've brought all the junk I intend to bring."

"Getting divorced at your age... it's so shameful! You know, all the guys I drink with were at your wedding! They're all asking me how to get back the money they spent on you!" he grumbled.

"I'm sure you can give them just as much hell in reply," Masao sighed.

"Sit down and join us for tea," his mother begged him.

"No, I'm sure he's got to go out and chase after some boys," his father spat out.

"Hey!" Masao objected.

"I'm not surprised Mitsuko found herself a real man. It's just surprising that it took her so long. Even a geezer is better than what she had, it seems," he glared at Masao. "We found you a good woman! And you were too much of a pansy to know what to do with her. It's disgusting."

"Heihachi!" his mother chastized. "That's completely uncalled for!"

"You did find me a good woman," Masao agreed, his voice bitter. "I certainly wouldn't have found her myself."

"That goes without saying!" his father barked.

"Anyone I would have found for myself wouldn't have been welcome in this house, right? So I made the mistake of trying to make you happy. Fortunately, that's not a mistake I plan to continue to make," Masao finished coldly.

"You ungrateful brat!" his father spit out. "You were lucky we gave enough of a damn!"

"Heihachi!" his mother yelled. "That's enough!"

"It's hard to really believe you're my son. If I had to have a son like you, getting a daughter would have been better," his father sneered.

Masao's eye twitched. "I am your son. Unfortunately. Hikaru told me that you played go with Akira-kun. Wasn't that fun for you? Being related to and spending so much time with gay men... all your own flesh and blood."

"You filthy bastard! Scum!" his father jumped to his feet. "Faggot!"

"Heihachi! For the love of... stop it!" his mother pled.

"I'm sorry, mother. I'm just causing trouble. I'll take my leave," he nodded to her.

"Too late! And don't be in any hurry to come back! Disgrace!" his father screamed.

"Wait!" his mother called after him, but he was already halfway out the door.

He was shaking. He'd actually declared himself to be gay right in front of his parents. He was forty-two years old and that was the first time he'd ever done that! If he lasted that long, why did he ever need to say it?! Plus, he spoke back to his father so bitterly. This was awful. That was no way for a son to behave, no matter what the provocation! Just what had gotten into him!?

"Masao, wait!"

He stopped dead in his tracks. He'd been so wrapped up in his thoughts, he hadn't realized that his mother was following him.

She caught up to him and huffed. "Don't make an old woman run after you!" she complained.

"Who's old?" he joked weakly.

"Don't mind your father," she sighed. "He... he's really fond of Mitsuko. He shouldn't have said..."

"You don't need to make excuses, mom," Masao smiled. "It's not like I expected him to be happy for me. Well, after all, it's not something worth being happy over. Oh, though Mitsuko is going to remarry, so... that's something to be happy about."

"She's fast..." his mother sighed. "Masao, you know... if there's someone you've found for yourself... I would like to meet him. I know bringing him home might be a little... but I'd love to go to lunch with you or even come to your place. Well, once you have your own place."

Masao flushed, and looked away. It was... a bit much for him to take in all at once. Actually, he couldn't take it in at all. His mother was offering to meet... "Ah... but... no, there isn't... there isn't anyone like that. An-anymore."

"What happened?" she asked quietly, leaning in.

This was beyond embarrassing. "It's. No. It was... never... it's just. He... It ended. He... didn't get involved with married men."

"Mmm," his mother was evaluating him, it felt like. "I don't want to say too much, but... I'm fairly sure all the ruckus back there was due to the fact that you aren't married anymore."

He thought he might turn purple. "Ah... well... that's..."

She reached out and squeezed his arm. "In any case... I just want you to know. Back then... I really did think... I know, now, that I was wrong, but I really did think that having a wife and a family would be what would make you happiest. That's all I wanted, Masao. For you to be happy. So if there's someone who makes you happy... I definitely want to meet him. Got it?"

She was smiling at him. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, mom. I got it."

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