title: the Vows we Break
fandom: Hikaru no Go
characters/pairings: Shindou Masao/OMC(s), Shindou Mitsuko, Hikaru/Akira, Touya Akiko & Kouyo
rating: Mature
warnings: sex, cheating, stabbing
summary: Shindou Masao has a midlife crisis, which may or may not have something to do with his son.
notes: written for the hikago big bang. this is essentially original!fic, given that it primarily revolves around a character than never appears in the manga or the anime. for anyone willing to take a chance and read it anyway, i deeply appreciate it. i've written Shindou Masao as gay before, so that idea has somewhat been in my head for a while. this fic could be seen as a sequel to 1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes, though it would be the most absurd sequel ever, since that fic was 357 words, and this one is over 55,000.


The look on Jun's face as he opened his gift was just perfect. It had been a long time since Masao went shopping for someone's birthday. Mitsuko took care of Hikaru's gifts, and she always wanted the same thing to celebrate any special occasion... flowers, chocolates, and a night out. Masao had wanted to get Jun a tablet or a new computer, but he balked, knowing the cost would make it awkward. Plus, and even more compelling, it was hard to buy something like that with no input from the person in question. Jun had specifically mentioned which brand of lightbox he liked, so Masao just had to buy the top of the line from that brand.

Too easy.

Jun already had the box out of its package, and was setting it up. Masao leaned back and smiled.

"That's actually only part one of your gift," he informed Jun quietly.

"Oh, really?" Jun made a show of looking around. Then he looked Masao over. It was true, Masao wore his best suit and his best tie. Clearly, Jun appreciated that effort. "And part two is...?"

"A secret," Masao smirked. "But I need one second to prepare. Wait here?"

"Wait... where are you going?" Jun laughed.

Masao got up and put his forefinger to his lips. He winked, and then headed back to the bedroom.

He took a moment to just consider. He only needed to pack for one night, so it wasn't that big of a deal, but. Packing for your lover...

Smiling, Masao found a small duffel in Jun's closet, and picked out an outfit for the next day, underwear, and socks. He went across to the bathroom and grabbed Jun's toothbrush, slipping it into the convenient travel shield that Jun kept stored under the sink. He grabbed a few other items, just looking around, and then zipped up the bag. Good.

He put the duffel over his shoulder, and sauntered back out. Jun had the lightbox up and working, and he turned to look at Masao with an excited face. "This is really... hey! What's that?" Jun pointed to his duffel.

Masao just held out his hand, smiling. "Do you trust me?"

Jun laughed. "Should I?"

Masao rolled his eyes. "Well, only you can answer that. So. C'mon. Do you trust me?"

Hesitantly, Jun reached up and took Masao's hand. "Where... are we going?"

Masao pulled Jun up to his feet. "You should turn the lightbox off. Don't want to blow the bulb before you can even use it."

"Hey, you didn't answer my question!" Jun complained.

"Don't forget your keys," Masao reminded.

"Hey!" Jun complained, but he was laughing, too.

When they got down to Masao's car, he popped the trunk, revealing his own travel bag. He put Jun's duffel next to it, and then escorted Jun to the passenger's door. Jun was giving him a funny look.

"I've never been in your car before. Where are we going?"

"I guess you'll find out. If you get in," Masao winked.

Jun sighed heavily, but he did get in.

Masao hopped over to the driver's side, and started up the car. Jun first of all made fun of Masao's radio station. He spent a while fiddling with the buttons and controls. He actually even reprogrammed a couple of the set positions, telling Masao that he should be listening to this sort of music. After they'd been on the road for a while, he started to finger Masao's lapels, complaining that his suit was going to wrinkle from being in a car for so long. After an hour and a half, he started to whine, begging Masao to tell him where they were going.

When Masao pulled up to the front of the hot springs resort, Jun was speechless.

Masao had stayed at this place before, for work. The people who ran it were very discreet, and they didn't put restrictions on who stayed with them, so it was perfect. The fact that it was very high-end and secluded in a lovely forest setting was just the icing on the cake.

They were shown to their room, and Jun went through their space like a little kid. Masao just stood back and watched him.

It was painful, loving someone so much.

Jun stood in front of him and grinned. "This... is so nice. I've never stayed someplace this nice before!" The look on his face, though, said that he was holding something back.

Masao put his hands on Jun's waist, and pulled him closer. "Well. I wanted to surprise you. I take it you are surprised, yes?"

Jun laughed, throwing his arms around Masao's neck. "Very." He kissed Masao, and Masao wrapped his arms around Jun tightly. Jun pulled back a bit, so Masao let him. "I really don't... want to ask this. But I guess I have to... What about your wife?"

Masao tilted his head to the side. "I don't think she can get up here in time for dinner... so it would be sort of a waste. It's ok if it's just the two of us, right?"

Jun smiled, but he also reached down to pinch Masao's side. "That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"Fine, fine, that hurts!" Masao laughed. He laughed a lot around Jun. He pulled Jun closer... "I told her... I had a business trip."

"It's Friday," Jun reminded him.

"It happens," he shrugged, not really wanting to get into the specifics of his lies.

Jun considered for a moment, and then they were kissing again. This time, when they broke off, Masao took a deep breath. "We should... we should change our clothes. I... ordered dinner for... well, soon, I guess..."

"Are you going to wear a yukata?" Jun asked, his voice sounding really hopeful.

Masao laughed. "Is this another fixation? What else should I wear here?"

Jun beamed. "Will you let me tie it for you?"

It was a hot springs yukata, so it wasn't as if it needed to be tied too specifically, but. "It's your birthday. You can do whatever you want," Masao promised.

"Oh, really?" Jun licked his lips. And slipped his hand into the back of Masao's pants. "You'll let me undress you?"

"If you insist," Masao teased.

"And take off your underwear?" Jun continued, pushing his hand down to caress Masao's ass.

"Whatever. You. Want." Masao spoke slowly, trying to keep his heartbeat and his arousal in check.

That was enough for Jun. He pulled Masao over and took off each piece of Masao's suit carefully, hanging it up with loving care. Only when Masao was completely naked was he satisfied. He tormented Masao a bit, kissing him before he took out the yukata. He took his time putting that on, too. Masao had to bite the inside of his cheek to try to keep from embarrassing himself. Jun threw off his own clothes and got dressed super fast, which was a bit of a shame, though the soft knock at the door announcing dinner came just after he finished dressing.

They had a feast spread out for them. While they ate, they talked about all sorts of things, including ancient Mongolian tools for artwork. Their plates were taken away, and a cake was delivered, with Happy Birthday delicately spelled out in the frosting. Jun made Masao come to his side of the table so he could properly enjoy his treat. He fed Masao the candied fruits that adorned the top, and spread frosting over Masao's neck and collarbone, licking it clean. They made quite a mess of the cake, but when the servers came to clear it away, they didn't react at all to the destroyed cake leftovers, or the fact that the two men were on the same side of the table.

They decided to soak in the open-air bath for a bit. They had arrived just late enough that when they got to the bath, only one other person was there, and when that person left, they were alone with each other, the stars, and the hot water. They scooted right next to each other. Masao felt like a goofy teenager, embarrassed and awkward and too aware of himself and the person next to him. He ended up splashing Jun a bit.

Jun splashed him back, and leaned over. "Aren't you worried?"

"About what?" Masao grinned.

"Someone might see us together. The people who work here obviously know. You could be recognized," Jun wiggled his eyebrows.

Whether that was supposed to be comical or menacing, Masao couldn't hope to guess. "I'm not worried."

"Maybe... a couple who lives down the street from your next door neighbor's cousin is here," Jun challenged. "You could be found out."

Masao stretched out and put his arm around Jun's shoulders. "I'm not thinking about stuff like that right now. I'm only thinking about..." he traced the line of Jun's jaw, and leaned in. He was pretty sure he'd never kissed anyone in an open-air bath before.

It was getting very hot.

Jun was caressing his chest, and moving closer. Their legs were pressed together. It was really... really, very hot. Jun leaned back, his pupils dilated. He continued to rub Masao's chest, but he suddenly had a burst of laughter.

"What?" Masao asked, feeling self-conscious.

"No, no, it's not... I just had a weird thought." The look on Masao's face was enough to prod Jun to continue. "I was just thinking... that this was perfect... and then I thought, well. Even more perfect would be... if you had on a tie, at least, or..."

Masao started to laugh, and then they were both laughing. He had a picture of himself in an exquisite three-piece suit, sitting the bath with Jun. "I worry that if I lost my wardrobe, you'd stop liking me," he teased.

"Don't lose your wardrobe," Jun warned him.

Masao pulled Jun close, and they were kissing again. Jun rubbed from his neck down his chest. "Even a tie would be nice," Jun huskily suggested. "Ah, but then your tie would be ruined..." he pouted a bit.

"I could always buy another one," Masao offered.

The way Jun's eyes lit up...

Someone made a bit of noise as they came out toward the bath, so Masao and Jun quickly put a bit of space between them. It was another pair of men, but from the look of it, it was a father and son. Masao and Jun looked at each other and smiled. The father was nagging the son about ordering more sake for after the bath. Masao reached down to twist the skin of his scrotum. He couldn't leave the bath until he took care of that problem, and he was definitely overheated. Jun was clearly amused, probably figuring what he was doing.

He was embarrassed, and... embarrassingly happy.

He excused himself and headed back to their room. Their futons were laid out, so it was perfect. He slipped out of his yukata, hanging that up... and then.

This was absolutely mortifying, because he knew Jun would laugh at him, and yet... he slipped his tie off the shoulder of his suit, where Jun had hung it, and put it on quickly. Wearing nothing but the tie, he sat down on the futon to wait for Jun. Of course, if Jun kept him waiting, he'd lose his nerve and take this off, but...

The door opened, and Jun came in. "I hope you didn't abuse your balls too much, Masao," he called out cheerfully. "I still have use for them."

"Well, then, you'll have to check them for yourself," Masao sighed, turning red. This was just...

Jun stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Masao. And then he quickly turned and grabbed his cell phone, taking a picture before Masao knew what he was doing. Turning bright red, Masao held up his hand.

"D-don't photograph me!" he complained.

"Why not?" Jun laughed. "This is part of my birthday present, too, right?"

"Oh, damn..." Masao had never been so mortified in his life. And Jun was still taking pictures, and... for some reason, he was reacting to this. He reached up to loosen it. "I'm taking it off!"

"No, you're not," Jun replied, commandingly. And somehow, Masao's fingers just stopped. Jun sat down next to him, covering Masao's hand with his own. "No. It's staying on. Until I decide to take it off."

Masao's heart was pounding. "What... whatever... you... want."

They were kissing. And Masao thought that maybe Jun tried to take another picture of them, and... he was down on his back, but that was good. Very good.

"I can't believe... the lengths you go to for me," Jun huskily whispered.

"I can't believe you're still taking pictures!" Masao pouted. "Stop that!"

"No," Jun shook his head, smiling. "You forgot to pack my sketchbook! I have no choice but to take pictures!"

"You... you don't... draw... me?" Masao squirmed under Jun.

"Of course I do," Jun pressed against him, kissing him and his chin and his neck. "I'm an artist. What did you expect?"

Masao could only groan.

Jun put the phone aside, and held Masao's arms above his head. He pressed Masao's wrists down, and grinned. "Keep your arms there."

Whimpering, Masao pouted, but he did as he was told.

"They have some rather fancy organic lotions and oils here," Jun remarked, nodding toward the gift basket of toiletries the resort provided.

"I know," Masao replied, his breath ragged. "That's why... I didn't pack..."

Jun pressed him down again, practically assaulting Masao's mouth.

They made love, Masao's tie squished between their bodies. The lotion tingled a bit, whatever ingredients were in it a bit more stimulating than Masao was used to. More stimulating for Jun, too, considering how he was reacting. He pulled back and stopped more than a few times, drawing out the experience. He held the base of Masao's cock, squeezing when it seemed like Masao was going to come. When he finally was allowed to climax, Masao lost his sight for a minute, the whole universe melting into stars.

He held onto Jun as he fell asleep.

When he was next aware of something, he knew it was morning. The sun was making the room bright, even from behind the drawn shades. Jun was next to him, smiling, and...

Taking his picture?

"I can't believe that the first time I ever get to see you as you sleep in, I don't have a sketch book," Jun complained softly.

"I can't believe this actually bothers you. Draw something better!" Masao complained, covering his face, covering his laughter.

"I don't want to," Jun replied brattily. He pushed Masao's hand away, and kissed him good morning.

They both had morning breath, but it was fine. It was just fine.

"I suppose... we need to get dressed for breakfast," Jun sighed.

"I suppose so," Masao agreed, but he didn't move.

"It's not my birthday anymore. So I guess it's not whatever I want anymore, either, huh?" Jun smiled ruefully.

"I'm pretty agreeable anyway," Masao hedged.

Jun ran his finger down Masao's tie... he'd actually fallen asleep in his tie, how embarrassing... playing with the fabric a bit. "We kinda... did a number on this," he sighed.

"That's what dry cleaners are for," Masao sighed, stretching out.

The look on Jun's face was beautiful and tragic.

They did get up, and slipped back into their yukatas. They had breakfast served to them, and ate quietly, the morning sun over the forest so beautiful from their vantage point. They got dressed. Jun teased Masao about his dad jeans, and how he tucked his shirt in. They gathered their things, and went to check out. Jun added a few souvenirs to their bill, looking guilty.

That made Masao feel guilty.

Their ride back was quiet. For a spell, Masao even thought Jun might have been napping. As they neared the metropolitan area, Jun brushed his fingers against Masao's hand on the gear shift.

"This isn't just sex."

The statement was so plainly put out there, in the middle of their quiet, Masao couldn't even say anything. It was just fact.

"I could continue to pretend, and play word games, and convince myself that it's... it's something that it's not. But we both know what this is." Jun shifted uncomfortably. Masao glanced at him. He looked seriously troubled. "The person you're just having sex with doesn't celebrate your birthday. He doesn't buy you the perfect gift you really wanted but wouldn't have bought yourself. He doesn't whisk you away for a magical overnight trip.

"We both know what this is." Jun ran the back of his fingers over Masao's hand.

This wasn't going well...

Masao squeezed the steering wheel. Neither one of them would say it. Even if they both did know. Not that Masao could just presume Jun's feelings, but he knew his own. He'd never felt like this before. Jun had become as important to him as Hikaru. He was hopelessly in love.


It took him a minute to make his tongue work. He didn't want to say this. "You... want to... break up?"

"The fact that we're even talking about breaking up just proves my point," Jun replied, sounding weary. He covered Masao's hand with his, slipping his fingers between Masao's. "I don't want to break up on my birthday, though."

Masao squeezed Jun's hand as best he could, forcing himself to focus on traffic.

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