title: the Vows we Break
fandom: Hikaru no Go
characters/pairings: Shindou Masao/OMC(s), Shindou Mitsuko, Hikaru/Akira, Touya Akiko & Kouyo
rating: Mature
warnings: sex, cheating, stabbing
summary: Shindou Masao has a midlife crisis, which may or may not have something to do with his son.
notes: written for the hikago big bang. this is essentially original!fic, given that it primarily revolves around a character than never appears in the manga or the anime. for anyone willing to take a chance and read it anyway, i deeply appreciate it. i've written Shindou Masao as gay before, so that idea has somewhat been in my head for a while. this fic could be seen as a sequel to 1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes, though it would be the most absurd sequel ever, since that fic was 357 words, and this one is over 55,000.


He shifted a bit under Jun. It was hot, such a hot night that he'd actually stripped down shortly after arriving at Jun's place. The heat spell wasn't showing any signs of relenting, and Jun was only keeping his air going when he was working. Because of that, the windows were open and they could hear the street noise below, which was competing with the anime Jun was watching.

"You aren't paying any attention to me," Jun pouted.

Masao grinned, and rubbed Jun's back. "That's not true. I'm listening."

"I'm trying to explain the show to you!"

"I know!" Masao laughed. "And I am listening. You're very enthusiastic. It's cute. It's just... too damned hot to concentrate," Masao sighed. He'd try pouting if he thought it would work.

Jun rubbed his chin against Masao's chest. "Would you rather be in your nice, cool home?"

That was a test. Masao slipped his fingers into Jun's slightly sweaty hair. "I am exactly where I want to be."

Jun dipped his chin down, hiding his smile. "Then pay attention to my explanation!"

"I am, I am!" Masao laughed. He shifted a bit, bending his left leg and pressing it to the back of the couch. This caused his legs to spread and bit and Jun settled more comfortably between them.

Nipping at Masao's collarbone, Jun complained, "Pervert!"

"It's not my fault," Masao asserted. Happily.

Jun sighed dramatically, and slipped his hand down Masao's side, his fingertips going into the waistband of Masao's boxer briefs. Masao caught his breath. Now who was being perverted! "This is my favorite anime, you know," he sighed.

"I know," Masao said, trying to keep his voice calm. "I can see why, too." Though, Masao knew nothing about anime. But Jun was very eloquent, so. He knew enough to know that Jun loved it.

"The main character reminds me a bit of a boy I had a crush on in high school," Jun said casually, letting his hand rest on Masao's hip.

Jun was spread out on top of him. He could feel Masao's heart pounding, couldn't he? "You had a crush on a dorky kid?" Masao teased.

Jun smirked. "Well, he was very earnest. And hard-working. He was just very admirable."

"Mm," Masao frowned a bit, mock-glaring at the screen.

"Plus, I was in the art club, too, in high school." Jun scrubbed Masao's chest with his chin, right near Masao's nipple.

Summer was the best. "Yeah? And were you also involved in saving the world."

"Well, of course," Jun shrugged.

Masao grinned. "Was it fun?"

"Mm," Jun wriggled around a bit. Masao bit his lip to keep from groaning. "It was, and it wasn't. Everyone in the club was either... really snobby about art, and didn't think manga qualified, or was just there to hang out and goof off, and so didn't take art seriously at all. There weren't really any other members that were like me. It was sort of annoying, in that way.

"I did have my first kiss in the art room, though. My second year." Jun smirked.

Masao raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? With the dorky kid?"

Jun laughed softly. "No. With a guy a year younger. He transferred out a month later. He was taller than I was, even though he was younger. It was just a lark to him. But he was a good kisser." Jun underscored his point with a soft kiss on top of Masao's lips. "What about you?"

"No, I didn't kiss anyone in the art room in high school," Masao shrugged.

Jun slipped his hands down into Masao's shorts, and squeezed his ass. "Brat! I meant, when was your first kiss?"

Masao squirmed a bit. He looked up at the ceiling. "Ah... you mean real kiss?"

"There are fake kisses?"

"Well, Yui-chan pushed me into the sand in kindergarten and then kissed me. I think that was part of a dare, though."

"You lady-killer," Jun shook his head. He then pinched Masao's ass. "C'mon! First kiss?"

Masao wriggled, and sighed. "Well. I was in college."

"You were pretty in the closet up until then, huh?"

Masao closed his eyes, and laughed. "Until then, yeah. And after then. Even now. Yeah." He felt a bit ashamed. He knew he was lying to everyone he knew, in a way. He could just normally forget that was how he was living.

"Damn. Well? So the first kiss? I'm guessing it was with your friend?" Jun teased him.

Masao grinned, though. "No, no it wasn't Natsuo. Not my first kiss. I, uh, had a teacher's assistant for one of my seminars. I kept going to his office hours for, erm, help."

"I'm guessing he was more than happy to help you out," Jun snorted.

Masao grinned. "Well. He sort of went... above and beyond. Actually, he made me go out for drinks with him because his girlfriend dumped him. We ended up back at his place, with more drinks, and then... at some point, he pushed me against the wall and kissed me. I... I think he wanted me to give him a blowjob. But he passed out before he could get it up."

"That is such a heartwarming story," Jun mused. "Something to pass on to the grandkids. Oops, your son is gay, too, so."

"He could adopt!" Masao objected. Well, it didn't really matter either way, but...

"What an open-minded father. I guess it's true what they say. Closeted men make the best parents," Jun wistfully sighed.

It was now Masao's turn to pinch Jun. Jun squirmed away, though, so Masao had to hold on tight to get him, and then Jun kissed him. He was so good at being distracting...!

"I bet you were like the Glasses King," Jun sighed.

Masao blinked. "Wh-what?"

"The main guy's rival!" Jun laughed, pointing at the television. The anime was over already, though. "He's the prince of the school."

"I was never a prince," Masao laughed.

"You were popular, though, right?" Jun pressed.

"I... don't know. Not especially?" Masao hedged.

"I bet you were. Did you get confessed to a lot?"

"What? No, I don't think so. What's a lot, anyway?"

"More than... a few times?" Jun smirked.

Masao shook his head. "I don't really remember. I was always sort of... keep to himself kind of kid."

"Did you hang out with a lot of girls in high school?"

"Sort of? But I was in the calligraphy club, so," he shrugged. "I also had male friends."

"What sort of stuff did you do with your male friends?"

"I don't know..." Masao closed his eyes, trying to think. "We shared music. And homework. I guess we watched some of the same shows and stuff."

"Did they have anime back when you were young? Let me think, they had to have some, right? What shows would you have watched?" Jun pondered, scrunching up his face to think hard.

Masao laughed, and covered Jun's mouth. "I'm only five years older than you! Don't say it, I don't even want to hear you guess! I think I watched some Gundam shows, things like that. I don't really remember that well. Like I said, even when I was little, I kept to myself a lot. ...I suppose I always felt like I was different, and I didn't want the other kids to find out or something like that."

Jun nodded slowly. "Because you're so vain."

"Wh-what?" Masao laughed, throwing an arm over his face. "Where did that come from? I'm not vain!"

"You are!" Jun laughed. "You're always concerned with how other people see you!"

"That's... that's only... human nature!" Masao objected.

"It's human nature to a certain degree," Jun agreed. "Beyond that, it's vanity."

"That is so unfair..." Masao looked away.

"I've seen you looking yourself over in the bathroom mirror," Jun teased. "Examining every hair and every pore on your face..."

"Can't even see my pores," Masao muttered, unable to stop himself from correcting Jun.

Even though he knew Jun would laugh at him. "See?"

"Unbelievable," Masao muttered. Both Mitsuko and Jun teased him about his vanity. If he wasn't so well-grounded, he'd start to develop a complex.

Jun slipped his hand into Masao's shorts, pushing them down, until he was exposed. His hand brushed casually against Masao's cock. Masao hitched, unable to catch his breath. He held onto Jun, turning Jun so they were on their sides, facing each other. He needed... to get Jun's underwear out of the way, too...

Jun kissed him, taking control. He wrapped his beautiful, long, perfect fingers around Masao's cock, and Masao practically purred in response.

"Someone... should have told you," Jun whispered into Masao's ear, "back when you were young... that you were fine. Just as you were."

Masao opened his eyes and looked at Jun. They kissed, and Masao got a hold of Jun's cock. He pressed their bodies close together, their hands bumping as they worked each other.

"There... was never anyone like that," he sighed.

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