title: the Vows we Break
fandom: Hikaru no Go
characters/pairings: Shindou Masao/OMC(s), Shindou Mitsuko, Hikaru/Akira, Touya Akiko & Kouyo
rating: Mature
warnings: sex, cheating, stabbing
summary: Shindou Masao has a midlife crisis, which may or may not have something to do with his son.
notes: written for the hikago big bang. this is essentially original!fic, given that it primarily revolves around a character than never appears in the manga or the anime. for anyone willing to take a chance and read it anyway, i deeply appreciate it. i've written Shindou Masao as gay before, so that idea has somewhat been in my head for a while. this fic could be seen as a sequel to 1/2 tsp. red pepper flakes, though it would be the most absurd sequel ever, since that fic was 357 words, and this one is over 55,000.


He turned his ring around his finger.

"So, as you can see, well... there's really no way around it," Kimura hedged.

Masao had been listening to the man sputter and spew excuses for nearly fifteen minutes. If he didn't shut his mouth immediately, Masao would be sorely tempted to fire his lazy ass, no matter what inconsequential advantages he might have going for him. Masao's phone hummed softly, and despite himself, and the situation, Masao smiled.

Since lunch, he'd been trading texts with Jun. They hadn't had a chance to meet up since that time, but they'd talked on the phone twice, and now they had a small habit of sending texts. Jun's deadline was yesterday, so he seemed to be in good spirits today. If Masao could clear up this mess with Kimura, he could rush over to Jun's and spend the night.

By the way, what kind of underwear do you wear? I didn't notice the last time. (=`〜´=)

Jun tended to use quite a few emoticons in his texts, and Masao had no idea how to interpret half of them, but he found them endearingly cute for some reason.

"Ahh... so... sir, I don't want to mess anything up further, so, I'll just..." Kimura was backing toward the door.

Masao leveled an icy glare at him. "Don't even think about leaving this office until this matter is entirely settled." He picked up his phone to reply. "I'll call our affiliates to make the apologies. You get out there and start recovering the files needed. Enlist... ah, get Kinjou-kun to help you, and... whatever secretaries are available."

"Kinjou? Really? That kid? He's so..." Kimura started, looking absolutely disgusted.

Masao narrowed his eyes. "I don't really feel you're in any position to be judgmental of your coworkers, are you, Kimura?"

"Ah..." Kimura looked away. "Mm. I'll get to work, thanks, boss."

Masao rolled his eyes. He had to make several calls... Damned bastard, if only he had brought this matter up sooner... before he dealt with that, though, he replied to Jun.

To be honest, I don't always wear underwear. Or maybe that's a huge lie...

He picked up his phone quickly and dialed up the first person who would most be affected by Kimura's incompetence. He'd just gotten to the part of the apology where the other party started to yell at him when his phone hummed again. He really... shouldn't read that before... but he had to let the other party blow off some steam, since it was their fault the material would be late by a day, and that left the production end crunched for time to meet the product launch deadline.

Are you wearing underwear right now??? (=xェx=)

His worked hard to keep his lips from twisting into a smile, even though the person on the other line couldn't see. They took a breath, so Masao launched into the second half of his apology, which included a promise that the specs they needed would absolutely be ready before the next morning. He'd spend the next few minutes just repeating I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, so he moved his phone over to reply.

If he was as good at this as the secretaries, he wouldn't need to use two hands, so he just hoped the receiver didn't fall while he was typing.

It's been a while since I've been able to leave my desk, so I don't remember. Are you interested?

Finally, the other manager was sufficiently assured of his guilt, so he was able to hang up and make the next call. It was another hour before he could get off the phone, and in that time, he traded ten more texts with Jun, getting very close to being, well, outright sexual at the end. Was that what the news people meant by sexting? Masao was really too old for that sort of thing. It was exciting, but he didn't want to be typing on a phone.

He wanted to see Jun.

He took off his suit coat and left it over his desk chair, and went out to join his team. Kimura was leaning back and staring at the ceiling tiles while Kinjou-kun and three secretaries were furiously tearing through files and working on their computers. Masao shook his head and bounced Kimura's chair straight up as he passed by. "Sugahara, Eida, are you free?"

Neither looked particularly pleased, but then, why should they?

"Just give me a few, boss, as soon as I finish this report."

"Yeah, I can help."

"I've assured our production affiliates that we'll have the spec to them by morning," Kimura let out a cry of shock, "so we don't have a lot of time."

"We're going over to the design department to get copies of the original prints," Ozaki informed him, pulling along another secretary.

"Be careful," Masao nodded. He unbuttoned his cuffs, rolling up his sleeves.

"B-boss, I don't think we can really get it done before morning, I mean... I'd been working on this project for a few weeks..." Kimura began.

Masao was really going to lose it. "Yes, and you have so much to show for it. Even before you lost your documentation. Never mind, if we all press together, we can finish this. Right?" He stared at Kimura.

"Of course we can, boss!" Kinjou-kun cheerfully piped up.

Even Masao had the urge to roll his eyes, but he didn't appreciate Kimura giving in and actually doing it. "Regardless, let's just get to work." He pulled up a chair and sat near Kimura, causing the man to jump to attention. It was about time, but it wasn't like Masao could sit next to his problem child every day to force him to do his work. He fielded a few other calls, which Arakawa-san had forwarded to that desk. Ozaki and the other secretary came back quickly, and when Nishida came back from a late meeting, he pitched in, too.

At nine o'clock, Masao ordered food for everyone, at nine thirty he called Mitsuko to let her know that he wouldn't be home. He let Sugahara and the secretaries leave at ten thirty, making sure Sugahara walked them to the station.

He wasn't able to return any more texts from Jun, but at eleven thirty, when the end was in sight, he sent a simple message.

Can I stay at your place tonight?

The positive reply was almost instantaneous.

It was just after midnight when they were able to finish up. They still had to pack up, but... "I can finish this up. I'll deliver this in the morning myself. You all should hurry. The last train will be leaving soon. Does anyone need a ride home?" It was lucky that he had his car, but... He didn't really want to...

Kinjou-kun brightened. "If it's no trouble..." he began, but then Nishida came up behind him and patted him on the head.

"I have my car. I can take him, boss. Thanks for all the hard work!"

"Eh!?" Kinjou-kun looked horrified. "No, I don't want to trouble..."

But that just earned him a thwack on the head from Nishida. "The one you should be worried about troubling is the boss! Now, c'mon!"

"Thanks for all your hard work," Masao smiled, watching them all leave, one by one. Once the office was empty, he took a deep breath.

And whipped out his phone. The last message from Jun was simply, Let me know when you're coming. You can park out front anywhere that's free. (((o(*゚▽゚*)o)))

He shook his head at the weird symbols, but replied quickly. I'm leaving now. See you in about thirty minutes. He thought about trying to add some kind of symbol or something, but the only thing he could think of was a heart, and that was too embarrassing. He carefully made sure to put all the materials together and seal it up, and then he got his coat and jacket.

He was whistling as he got into his car.

That late at night, there was very little traffic, so it only took him twenty minutes to get to Jun's apartment. The moon was shining brightly, too. Since he was carrying all their hard work in his trunk, he made extra sure that the car was locked up before he went up.

His heart was thumping hard.

He'd barely knocked twice when the door flew open. Jun looked like he'd just gotten out of the shower. His skin was pinkish and and his hair was fluffy, like he'd taken the time to blow it dry. He smiled nervously, and stepped aside. "So, you actually do work late sometimes."

"It adds credulity to my cover," he smiled. "Thanks for having me."

"Mm. Well, welcome." He watched Masao take off his shoes. The hoodie he was wearing had a wide neck, and a lot of his tempting skin was showing. "Are you sure you're up for this? Or did you just want a comfortable place to sleep?"

Masao took Jun by the waist and kissed him, hard, proving his intention. Jun put his arms around Masao, and Masao found it impossible to hold back. He slipped his hands up under Jun's hoodie, feasting on skin while he pushed it up and over Jun's head. Jun started to laugh, trying to tell him to slow down, but Masao couldn't really hear it. He heard him, but he disagreed. He needed to hurry. Once the hoodie was tossed aside, he had lots of skin to work with and explore. The neck, of course, was tasty, but he had to move further down, and the further down he moved, the lower he wanted to go. Lower, and lower, until he was on his knees, tugging at Jun's waistband.

"You're not wearing underwear," Masao commented happily.

"Yeah... but it was... I wanted to know about you..."

Jun was getting hard, and that was tempting, very tempting. He should be thinking about his knees, or the time. He put his lips to Jun's hip, and then slowly, slowly, closer and closer. He was probably drooling a bit. Utterly disgraceful, but. But.

He ran his tongue down the length of the underside of Jun's cock, and kissed the skin at the base softly.

"Damn it, Masao..."

Jun was pulling at his hair. It was a good feeling. Masao hadn't done this in a really long time, so he took it slowly. Which was fine, at least judging by the sounds Jun was making. He took it in, as much as he could, and used his hands to do the rest. The feeling, the taste... it was like he'd never done this before. This was for Jun, though.

That made a difference.

Jun came, and Masao choked a bit, but as Jun sank to the floor, he managed to swallow it down. "Hey!" Jun complained weakly, but Masao was already licking his lips clean. He smiled, caressing Jun's hip.

"Did I do it wrong?"

Jun started to laugh. "This is... crazy... It's almost two in the morning... I've got a good-looking man in a gorgeous suit between my legs... asking me... and you never gave me a straight answer about your underwear?!"

Masao leaned back on his haunches. "Mm. My suit is gorgeous, but I'm only good-looking? Well, I guess that's good enough. But if you want to know something... you should find out for yourself." He picked up Jun's hand, and kissed the fingertips, the knuckles, and then the palm. And then he placed Jun's hand on his waist. "Well?"

Jun smirked. "You realize I'm not going to let you get any sleep, right?"

"I plan on napping in my office tomorrow," Masao nodded solemnly.

He turned his ring around his finger as he impatiently waited for the light to turn green.

"After we're done with the paperwork, let's go get something to eat."

Masao valiantly resisted the urge to sigh heavily. His timing had been off all day. He missed his first alarm that morning, and just barely missed the train, making him late to work. Of course, he'd overslept because for the fourth night in a row, he'd been with Jun. He'd missed the train because they'd been kissing the genkan. If only he'd taken his car to Jun's... but he'd decided that he'd be more disciplined if he was forced to follow the train schedule. That didn't work. He and Jun had been texting most of the day, too. Jun had to buckle down because he had a meeting with his editor on Monday. They'd agreed not to meet again at least until after that meeting.

Of course, the previous night, they'd agreed the same, and then at the last minute, Jun had sent him a text and he'd decided to go see him. Because of that, documents that he'd been working on at home because there was plenty of time to get them finished were still in his home office when he needed them.

"Do you like Tandoori food? I know a really nice place. It's... dark and very cozy."

Masao sighed, and shifted into gear. None of that explained why Kinjou-kun was in the car with him. Nothing in the world could explain why Kinjou-kun was in the car with him.

"What do you think?" he was asked, and Kinjou-kun rubbed his elbow. Again.

He was driving, so there was only so much he could do. He pulled his arm away from the young man as much as possible. "You should go there with someone your own age, then. I'll be too busy for something like that."

"Aw, no fun," Kinjou-kun pouted, but he was flirting.

It made Masao sickeningly uncomfortable. "It's my fault these plans aren't submitted properly already. I just want to focus on getting that done. ...I've said this already, but there's no reason for you to be involved with this." When he'd realized that the papers he needed were still at home, Kinjou-kun was helping him in the office. When he rushed out to his car, Kinjou-kun followed him. No matter what he said to the young man, he just didn't listen, and when Masao got to his car, Kinjou-kun got in without being invited.


"It's my role to support you, Shindou-san," Kinjou-kun said cheerfully. Masao had a feeling that he didn't mean what he should when he said that.

Masao could only sigh.

"Even the hardest working person has to eat," Kinjou-kun teased him, bumping his arm against Masao's.

"At the moment, I feel sick to my stomach," Masao muttered.


Masao shook his head. He turned down his street. Vaguely, he had a feeling, like this was a bad idea, letting this kid know where he lived. Where, even more importantly, his wife and his son lived. However, if Kinjou-kun wanted to know that, he could find out. It wasn't the sort of information they just gave away in the company, but it was on file, so someone like Kinjou-kun, who was resourceful, could find it out. But.

It wasn't like Kinjou-kun was dangerous, so. It shouldn't be a problem.

He pulled into his driveway. "I'll just be a minute. You can wait here."

"I can go in with you," Kinjou-kun stated.

Masao narrowed his eyes. "Wait here."

Kinjou-kun, though, continued to unbuckle and open his door. "Wouldn't that be rude? I won't cause any trouble for you, Shindou-san. I promise. If you have any trouble with the paperwork, though..."

"I've already told you, there's no problem. Everything is in order, it's just on my desk," he sighed.

Damn it all, this brat was following him into his house. This situation... definitely felt wrong. Masao was sure that the... indiscretions they'd indulged in were well in the past, but the kid had a persistent streak that Masao wasn't comfortable with at all. Perhaps he should look into having Kinjou-kun reassigned. It was damned annoying, though, since the kid knew how to work. Well, that just meant he would earn a promotion quickly, right?

Feeling out of sorts, he opened the front door.

"I'm home," he called out. He knew it wouldn't be so, but he somewhat hoped that Mitsuko had gone out to eat with a friend.

"Oh, honey!" Of course not. His wife came out of the kitchen, looking slightly horrified. How appropriate. "I wasn't expecting you!"

Guilt cut at him. Naturally she wasn't. He hadn't been home all week. He'd been... Mitsuko was looking at Kinjou-kun. Masao straightened himself up, setting aside his feelings. "Sorry for the intrusion," he teased. "I left some paperwork here. Ah, and this is..."


Hikaru peeked out of the kitchen. And... Akira was right behind him.

Masao raised an eyebrow, and stepped out of the genkan. "Hello. I've interrupted dinner, haven't I?"

"Don't be silly," Mitsuko grinned, swatting at his arm playfully. Even that little contact was enough to make him feel like scum. "We were just about to eat, but there's more than enough for you and...?" she looked questioningly at Kinjou-kun.

This just wouldn't do. He put his hand on Mitsuko's back, feeling like he definitely didn't belong. "Oh, no, this is just my subordinate, Kinjou-kun. And this is, of course, my wife, my son Hikaru, and his fellow go pro, Akira. I just need to grab some paperwork, so I'll be right back," he said, directing the last part to Kinjou-kun.

He took the stairs two at a time. He could hear conversation below. Of course there would be... it would be rude to ignore the kid, even if they should. Masao knew immediately, though. He had to get Kinjou-kun out of the house as soon as possible. Hikaru was there?

With Akira?

Did they often eat with Mitsuko? Masao... really hoped so. If this was just a usual dinner as family, that would be...


The envelope with the paperwork was right where he knew it would be. He had been careless. From now on, he really shouldn't leave anything behind, right? After all, he wasn't spending as much time at home as he had before, and he hadn't spent a lot of time at home before, so.

He rushed down the stairs. He got a full view of the kitchen for the first time. It looked so homey and comfortable. He decided.

"Got it." He smiled brightly for his family. It felt like there was some tension in the room. "Kinjou-kun, you can handle processing this, correct?"

"O-of course, Shindou-san," Kinjou-kun replied, wanting to please him but clearly confused.

That was fine.

Masao shepherded him to the door. "Excellent. If you take a right, the station is just five blocks that way. Should take you no time at all to get there."

"Sh-shindou-san? I thought...?" Kinjou-kun started.

"I've decided to have dinner with my family," he stated firmly, practically shoving Kinjou-kun out the door.

"But... I don't know the area..." Kinjou-kun protested, shoving his feet into his shoes. He almost managed to grab a hold of Masao's forearm, but Masao reached out to open the door.

"You really can't miss it, it's just up the road, but if you have to call for a cab, I'll compensate you tomorrow. Thank you so much for taking this responsibility," he said firmly.

Kinjou-kun's expression changed, and he accepted it. "Not a problem, Shindou-san. I'll see you tomorrow, then," he said forcefully. "It was nice to meet you," he bowed to Masao's family.

"And you, Kinjou-kun," Mitsuko nodded.

She was far too kind.

He shut the door behind Kinjou-kun as soon as the brat was clear, and took a deep breath. It was a relief, having him gone.

"That guy was weird," Hikaru declared.

"Hi-hikaru!" Akira-kun hissed.

Masao grinned, and turned to his family. "No, my son is right. He is a little weird," Masao sighed. He slipped out of his suit jacket. Without even thinking, he handed it off to Mitsuko, regretting it instantly. He was perfectly capable of hanging it up himself... But Mitsuko took care of it without a thought.

"He really seemed to like you, Dad!" Hikaru complained.

Masao tilted his head to the side. "I hope that's not what you find so weird about him!"

Mitsuko laughed. "You do have a way of... inspiring people around you," she teased him.

"I have no idea what you mean," Masao replied, honestly confused. But he didn't like the direction this was heading. Did Kinjou-kun say something weird to them? "Let's not let dinner get cold. Akira-kun, it's good to see you again. I'm not interfering with anything, am I?" he asked, mostly directed at Mitsuko.

"Don't be silly. Let me get you a plate," she bustled around.

He sat down at his usual place at the table, feeling guilty for making her do extra work.

"Hikaru and Akira-kun actually came to tell me some exciting news. Why don't you tell your father, Hikaru?" she prompted him, still fussing about.

Hikaru looked at him, blushing a bit.

Blushing? Really?

"Oh... er... well, yeah. Actually, Akira and I are gonna move in together," he bluntly said.

"J-just for the summer!" Akira-kun interjected, frantically poking Hikaru. "Er, it's just... my parents are going to be traveling... all summer, so. Um. Otherwise, it would just be me in the house..." he shrugged.

As if loneliness were the only reason for it.

Masao wondered if they were as embarrassed telling Mitsuko.

"Well! That's great news, indeed!" He smiled at each of them. Mitsuko smirked at him in reply. He felt like the two of them had some kind of secret joke to which Hikaru and Akira-kun weren't privy.

"You... you really think so? You think it's a good idea?" Hikaru asked.

Both of the boys looked as if they were scared and uncertain. Well, of course they were. Why wouldn't they be? But. "Sure. You're at a good age for this. If you weren't playing go, you'd be in college, after all. It's the right time to try living with your... special someone."

Mitsuko gave him a rather amused look as she served him his food. Masao squirmed a bit in his seat.

"You guys are really understanding," Hikaru pouted, like he'd been expecting a fight, and now was disappointed.

"Your parents don't object, do they, Akira-kun? Since it's their house..." Masao asked.

"Ah! No, well..." he blushed a bit. Hikaru smiled at him cutely. His son probably thought Akira-kun's blush was cute. Masao felt a warm, happy feeling fill his chest.

These two kids were just so damned sweet.

"Y-yes, I mean, naturally, they approved, it's just..." Akira-kun squirmed cutely.

"He promised them I'd be sleeping in the guest room," Hikaru flatly filled in for him.

Masao nearly snorted. "That's... ah... charmingly naive... and unenforceable..."

Mitsuko finally sat down. "Now, now. Their sleeping arrangements aren't any of our business!"

"Exactly," Masao sighed, sipping his beer. It really was nice to be home.

He had a sudden flash of sitting in Jun's living room, drinking and watching television...

"Could we just drop this," Hikaru begged loudly, his head down.

"You brought it up, idiot," Akira-kun muttered.

He and Mitsuko shared a look, grinning.

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