title: unsexy
fandom: DC Comics
characters/pairings: Dick/Ollie... somewhat
rating: G/Teen
warnings: sextalk
summary: Little challenge ficcy.
notes: none

"I am going to beat this flaw from my body."

"Stop it. You're giving yourself a rash. At least use some lotion..."

"I know what I'm doing!"

"Really, it's not that big of a deal. Oh, oops..."

"Very funny. You could help, you know..."

"I thought I was. Remember, early, with the batcuffs...?"

"This isn't like me. I swear. Normally, I'm a rocket!"


"Indeed, the legendary CANNON of the verdant viscount of veracity... has gone limp."

"...What the hell...?"

"I told you I had never been with a guy before! Just give me a moment... I'm sure it'll happen..."

"You know, I do have things to do..."

"What, the 'haven keeping you busy? Maybe I could come down to help..."

"Try coming at all. That would be nice."

"Shut up!"

"Look, I'm sorry, this has been great so far, but I think I'm going to get going. If I could use your washroom for a moment..."

"Wait! Just... just five more minutes!"

"Call me."

"This is insane! This never happens to me! I am not this sort of guy!"

"Maybe it's an age thing."

"Oh, get out of here. Boy hostage..."

"Hey! That hasn't happened in years! Ok, months. Not a once last month. Nothin'. It was just me -Blockbuster - and a half gallon of ice cream."


"Never mind. I'm going now. Take care."

"...Wait! Come back! I felt something! ...Maybe if we got some hot chocolate and whipped cream...!"