title: The World is Supposed to End
fandom: Fringe
characters/pairings: Astrid
rating: G
warnings: none
summary: Astrid, thinking. (takes place during The Recordist)
notes: for rithy, even though i know it's inadequate and most likely 'been done before' and most definitely done better, but it's not nothing, so that's... something.

She's been left behind.

It's hardly earth-shattering news. Astrid was always being left behind. Or, just left out. Of course, that was before.

Before, she could take breaks when she wanted to, go get herself a latte, maybe spend some quality time with Gene, milk her or brush her down. She could call her father, or, if there wasn't anything too disgusting going on in the lab, Skype with him.

Before, she wasn't trapped in a lab that was full of memories and amber. She wasn't right in the middle of an enemy stronghold, with invaders and collaborators all around, any one of whom could decide to just kill her if she was discovered.

This world... was a terrible place. And she was starting to think, well...

Maybe the "plan" Walter had... well, it wouldn't be unlike Walter if it was just... it could be...

Maybe it should be a giant bomb. Something they could use to just end the world. She didn't think she was being dramatic or overly depressed about their situation. Despite Walter's frantic sense of hope, some things just... couldn't be undone. She didn't say anything, because. Well. Walter would just brush her off, bombastically prattling on about something he probably didn't understand, assuring her that once again, he was right. And maybe he was. Often enough, he was, enough that Astrid had learned a bit about faith. Maybe there was a way to make things right.

Maybe. But. Can't unring a bell, right? No matter what... this world... it just needed to end.

Peter wouldn't agree with her. Not as long as Etta was alive. And if Etta died? Astrid couldn't even think about that. Peter was the most pragmatic among them, save herself, probably. He could focus on one thing that was right in front of him, something real he could hold onto, like Olivia. And now, Etta.

Olivia. Olivia would always believe she could save everyone. No matter how bad things were for her, she could save everyone. Everyone. Astrid wanted to take her out sometime, get her properly loaded, get her to just... relax. Take the world off your shoulders, Atlas. She'd wanted to say that to Olivia before. Now it was after, and it really was the whole damned world. And their enemy was impossible. Despite working with the impossible for years now, this enemy... well. They were everything the Fringe Division had been fighting all rolled into one, something like that.

See, being left behind meant thinking. It wasn't as if she could blast some Children of Bodom. Or go out for a quick run. Or troll linguistic message boards, messing with Lord of the Ring fans. So, that just left thinking.

And thinking left her hoping that when they were done with this wild goose chase, they'd have the means to blow the shit out of the world, and the front row seats to go with it.