title: the Neighbor's Dog
fandom: Gundam Wing
characters/pairings: Duo/Trowa, Heero
rating: Teen
warnings: kissing, language
summary: The backyard neighbor's dog is matchmaking.
notes: written for amberlyinviolet for the prompt "What about a 2x3 "Your dog keeps ending up in my backyard please help" AU" thankyou!!!!

Heero peered out the window as he dried his hands. "Mm. Duo, you know how you said that the tomato plants would start making tomatoes soon?"

Duo blinked, putting away the last of the leftovers from dinner. "...Yeah?"

"I don't think so," Heero said calmly.

"Huh?" Duo went to the window and looked for himself. "That damned dog!" He slapped his hand to his forehead.

Heero narrowed his eyes. "I can get my BB gun."

"No, Heero, you can't shoot the neighbor's dog," Duo shook his head firmly.

Heero pouted. "Just because you think he's mysterious and cool..."

"I don't..." Duo sighed, pushing his bangs out of his face. "Whatever, I'm getting the damned dog." He opened the door and went outside. "Hey!" he called out to the dog.

The dog paused in her quest to dig up all of Duo's failed vegetable garden, and turned to face him, panting happily.

Or possibly hungrily.

Duo steeled himself, and then slowly approached the dog. As always, he couldn't help thinking, This is not a dog. This is a bear. A freakin' polar bear... However, as always, the giant fluffy white dog - or mostly white as her legs were covered in Duo's mud - was perfectly docile as Duo approached. Her tail even started to wag as he got close. Duo smiled brightly, hoping that he did not look like polar bear food. "Heyyy, girl. Hey, why don't we go to see your daddy? Huh? You wanna go see your daddy? Yeah, let's go see your daddy..." He reached out and took her by the collar, and she let him gently pull her away from the mud. "Yeah, digging in the mud sure seems fun... that's why I planted that shit in the first place, it was supposed to make food for us. Nice, fresh food... Hey, girl, is your daddy seeing anyone? Does he like boys?"

She panted vigorously, her tail pumping back and forth as he led her to the backyard neighbor's back door.

"He's real mysterious and cool, isn't he?" Duo sighed, and then he ruffled her fur. "Well, even if you knew, you wouldn't tell me, huh?"

She barked at him, and he laughed.

"Well, maybe if I understood dog..." he shrugged. He knocked on the back door, and waited.

After a minute, Mysterious and Cool opened the door, and Duo plastered on his biggest grin. "Er, hi. Sorry to bother you... again... but..."

"Oh, no," Mysterious and Cool said in his low, smooth, sexy voice. "Did she get into your yard again?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I mean, it's not that big of a deal, really, but she was kinda destroying the vegetable garden..." Duo sheepishly explained. The polar bear woofed and bumped against Duo, nearly knocking him over.

Mysterious and Cool clicked his tongue. "Naga, that's not nice."

Naga just woofed happily at him.

Mysterious and Cool smiled up at Duo, and Duo felt his heart skip a beat. "So that's a vegetable garden, huh? I was wondering..."

"I'm... I'm not much of a gardener," Duo laughed self-depreciatingly.

"Well, I'm sorry Naga messed up your garden," Mysterious and Cool apologized. "I've been trying to train her, but she's had a rough time. Her family abandoned her when she was two in a forest, probably because they didn't realize how big she'd get. When the rangers found her, she was half-dead, malnourished and suffering from having been attacked by a mountain lion."

"Ooh," Duo nodded. "Poor girl..."

Naga woofed, and jumped up on Mysterious and Cool, licking his face, pushing back his long, stylish bangs.

Duo carefully took a look at his whole face since it'd been exposed, and tried to convince himself that he was not jealous of the dog and he didn't want to lick Mysterious and Cool, too.

"I guess I should put up a fence..." Mysterious and Cool suggested, rubbing Naga's ears.

"No, I mean, I don't want to put you out..." Duo rubbed the back of his neck, trying to look cool. "Er, she's really, um, sweet-tempered... and, uh... huge..."

"She's a Samoyed-Mastiff mix," Mysterious and Cool explained helpfully.

"Wow. ...What mad scientist decided to breed that?" Duo asked before thinking.

Mysterious and Cool smirked, and the one eye Duo could see looked genuinely amused. "Like you said, though... sweet-tempered."

"Eheheheh," Duo was aware he was giggling like a moron, but he couldn't stop. "Yeah... uh... well... well..." Duo cleared his throat, trying desperately to form words. "I guess I'll... see you again when Naga decides to tunnel under the house."

"I'll give her a stern talking to," Mysterious and Cool said while digging his fingers into her fur and giving her a head rub.

"I'm sure she'll understand," Duo winked at him, and then he headed back to his house, trying desperately to not look back and see if Mysterious and Cool was checking him out. He had to scoot around Heero to get inside.

"Did you introduce yourself this time? Get his name?" Heero asked.

"Damn it!" Duo slapped himself in the face.

Duo stood at the kitchen window, sipping his coffee and watching Naga claw at the oak tree as she happily barked at a squirrel. Heero came back from his shower and stood next to Duo.

"Still at it, huh?" He scratched his belly.

"Is it bad for trees to lose their bark?" Duo mused.

Heero gave him a look like he couldn't believe Duo would ask such a stupid question, and Duo sighed.

Naga woofed heartily and shook the whole tree. Ten feet above the ground, a squirrel held onto a branch for dear life.

"I thought you said the dog was nice and gardening was stupid anyway. I thought you said it was fine to have a 'shared lawn,'" Heero asked pointedly.

"Well, it... it is," Duo hedged.

"Then go out there and save our tree from that bear," Heero suggested.

"It's just, she's kinda in a hunting mode," Duo floundered.

Heero rolled his eyes.

Mysterious and Cool ran out of his back door and called out to Naga. Naga turned her head to him, but didn't give the squirrel a break. Mysterious and Cool grabbed Naga by the collar and scolded her. He looked over at their window, and froze for a second, seeing them. He had a funny look on his half-face, or it seemed so to Duo, but then he waved and called out that he was sorry. Duo quickly waved back, nearly dropping his coffee.

Heero was watching Duo as Duo watched Mysterious and Cool and Long Limbed and Beautiful take his dog back into his house. Heero closed his eyes and sighed. "Trowa Barton."

"Eh?" Duo looked at him, startled.

"His name," Heero pointed at the house across the yards. "It's Trowa Barton."

"Heero! I've told you, you can't hack the neighbors, it's impolite!" Duo chastised.

"And I've told you, using google isn't hacking," Heero rolled his eyes. Duo just stared at him blankly, so he elaborated. "I googled his house address, moron."

"Oh!" Duo smacked himself in the face. Again. He was going to bruise himself. "Oh, I should have thought of that!"

"Yes," Heero nodded.

"Shut up," Duo growled, downing his coffee.

"He has a twitter. I couldn't find any other social media. He only uses it every few weeks, though, mostly retweeting pictures of animals, or anti-meninist cartoons, stuff like that."

"Wow," Duo blinked, dazed.

"What are you going to do?" Heero asked.

Duo took a deep breath, and smiled at Heero with his characteristic charm and panache. "I'm going to go to work. Moron."

Heero sighed and shook his head, but Duo was ignoring him.

He was about to leave the kitchen, but he paused. "Send me the link to his twitter?"

Heero snorted, and Duo decided that was good enough. It was time for work.

Trowa Barton...

Trowa Barton-Maxwell... Trowa Maxwell-Barton...

Duo grabbed his keys, and convinced himself that he wasn't losing his mind due to sexual frustration.

There was a low whistle behind him and, startled, Duo nearly knocked the hood off its jack with his head. He rubbed his potential bruise and turned, glaring. Whatever cutting remark was on his lips died when he saw the whistler.

Trowa Mysterious Cool Barton was standing there with Naga who was on a leash.

Duo swallowed hard, trying to shove his heart back down into his chest where it belonged. He grinned lopsidedly at Trowa. "Wow, so you walk her, too? She doesn't get enough exercise in the yards, or she just prefers a wide variety of neighborhood squirrels?"

"She does find the ones over on Henry Street to be a bit less salty, maybe even a little sweet," Trowa replied seriously, but Duo was 58% sure he was kidding.

Duo had a real bad soft spot for serious kidders. "Dude, I think you spend too much time with your dog, no offense," he winked, trying unsuccessfully to lean casually against his car. Of all the times to run into Trowa Beautiful Funny Barton when not complaining about Naga, it had to be when he was covered in grease and oil, in scuzzy cargo pants and a threadbare old t-shirt. Damn it...

"She's a better conversationalist than I am," Trowa shrugged. "Hey, I wanted to ask about the tree... do you need me to pay for it to be... um, fixed?"

"Nah, I mean, Heero did some research online, Heero is my roommate, well, housemate, I guess, is the better word. Because we live in a house," Duo cleared his throat, trying to regroup. "He did some stuff, I don't really know, but he said it should be ok."

"Right, Heero," Trowa nodded inscrutably, looking toward the house. "Well, that's good. I was afraid she'd really damaged it..." He rubbed Naga's head absently.

"She was just doing what dogs do," Duo quickly assured him. "I do think the squirrel is going to need counseling, though."

"That's ok, I'm certified as a Squirrel Therapist," Trowa nodded, his tone completely flat and serious.

Shit, Duo was falling harder and harder. He tried to think of something witty while biting his lip to keep from laughing hysterically out of pure sexual hunger.

"You need any help with the car?" Trowa asked, and Naga barked, trying to get closer to Duo.

"Nah, Naga has enough ways to get that white fur messy," Duo winked at Trowa. "Anyway, I'm just tinkering around. This is what I do. I mean. Professionally. I have a job. I, uh, work on cars. Not like at a shop. I mean, it is a shop, not like a regular shop. Not that there's anything wrong with that... um, I mean, I restore classic cars, soup up hot rods, that sort of thing. Uhhh, sometimes, we make robots, too." Trowa raised his visible eyebrow in interest. "I mean, um, with spare parts... and the like... and Solo welds shit together and calls it art. Solo, he's my brother. Kinda. Howard makes the robots. And I make cars go faster." Duo was frantically aware that words kept spilling out of his mouth, and he tried to make them stop. "I'm Duo, by the way. Er, it's nice to meet you... again and again... I mean..." Duo coughed. Shit, this was unsalvageable...

"I'm Trowa, likewise. Duo and Solo, huh?" he was smiling. That was good.

"Ehhh, yeah, it's all... a pretty silly story," Duo laughed, choosing to avoid the topic of orphanhood.

Trowa nodded.

Duo was looking at Trowa and Trowa was looking at Duo and Naga was panting happily looking from one to the other and Duo had to say something or else would spontaneously combust. "So, er, yeah, if you need any car help, or just... you know, souping up for your car... I got lotsa soup..." he grinned shyly.

"Thanks, but I drive a '99 Honda hatchback," Trowa shrugged. "It mostly runs on blood sacrifice."

"Well, if you need blood..." Duo realized what he just said and quickly scrambled for a save, "I can always help you round up neighborhood children..."

"Thanks, that's her job," Trowa smiled, patting Naga's back. Naga barked proudly.

"Excellent," Duo laughed.

"If you know of any other traumatized squirrels, just point them my way, I work at an animal shelter, so I really am certified," Trowa winked at him, actually winked, maybe they were really flirting, and maybe Duo wasn't making an ass of himself after all. He started off again on his walk. "See you around, Duo."

"See you, Tro, Naga," Duo replied, and it wasn't until after Trowa gave him an amused look that Duo realized he'd used the nickname he'd been calling Trowa in his head.

Duo put his head back in under the hood just to keep from checking out Trowa's ass, but it was a full five minutes before he could do anything but tighten and loosen and tighten a lug nut.

It was fifteen minutes later that he realized Trowa had gotten his attention by whistling at him and that he'd had his ass sticking out at the time so there was a non-zero chance that Trowa had been whistling at his cute ass.

The banging on Trowa's back door continued until Trowa opened it. Trowa gave Heero a weird look. "What the hell?"

"C'mon," Heero grabbed Trowa's arm and pulled him out of his house.

"What? Wait...! What the hell," Trowa complained, trying to pull his arm out of Heero's grip or dig his heels in, but for a short guy, Heero was wickedly strong.

"Your dog is on my roommate," Heero said.

"What?" Trowa looked around, but he didn't see Naga in the yard...

"I left the door open, the dog went right in, he's on top of my roommate, and I can't budge him an inch," Heero tersely explained.

"Her," Trowa corrected him absently, trying to take it all in.

Heero just grunted, and pulled Trowa into their house.

Trowa looked around as Heero dragged him through the kitchen and up the stairs. It was laid out fairly similarly to his own house, but everywhere was pretty barren. There was a stylized Legend of Zelda poster up in the living room, which was clearly the gaming room, but that was it for decorations. Except, at the top of the stairs, there was a weird metal sculpture-like thing.

Heero threw Trowa into a room, and sure enough, there was Naga, laying across Duo, who was only visible because his braid was trailing on the floor.

"Do something," Heero nudged Trowa.

Trowa blinked, and then glared at Naga. "Naga! Bad girl! Get off of Duo!"

Naga paused in her panting to look sheepishly at Trowa, and then she reluctantly sat up, causing Duo to groan. Trowa pointed fiercely at the floor next to his feet, and Naga whined, but she got off the bed.

"Oof," Duo sighed. He pushed himself up onto his elbows. "Damn good thing I was on my belly, otherwise I don't think I'd've been able to breathe," he sighed, stretching out.

He wasn't wearing a shirt. Maybe he wasn't even wearing pants. Trowa quickly averted his eyes to glare at a now-whimpering Naga. "What were you thinking, Naga! We do not just go into people's houses and assault them!" Naga lowered her head and curled her tail in between her legs.

Duo chuckled, turning over so he could sit up. "In her defense, I'm pretty sure she just thought I was a weird pillow. You ever have one of those dreams where it feels like you're being squeezed between two fluffy brick walls?" He valiantly smiled at Trowa.

"Well, I have that dream a lot, but my neighbors shouldn't," he glared at Naga again.

"Ok," Heero sighed with relief, and then he left.

Trowa looked at Duo sheepishly, and tried not to focus on Duo's bare chest or the cross hanging right at the top of his pecs. "I'm so sorry about this. I think I'm going to have to start tying her up..."

"Nah, that can't be good for her, she's so big," Duo smiled. "I mean, I feared a little for my life, but... no harm, no foul," he shrugged.

"I don't think your boyfriend feels that way," Trowa sighed, looking in the direction Heero had gone.

"Boyfriend?" Duo blinked.

"I really will be sure this never happens again. I'll call... someone... about a fence or..." Trowa vaguely promised.

Duo surged forward, grabbing onto Trowa's sleeve. "I don't have a boyfriend!" he informed Trowa desperately.

"...But..." Trowa looked off in Heero's direction again.

"That's just Heero!" Duo quickly explained, as if that said it all. He added, though, when he realized that it wasn't, "I mean, Heero's not even into relationships or sex or anything. He just likes computers. He's a friend, is what I mean. Not a boyfriend. He used to be a hacker and then he made a shitton on some stupid mobile game that went viral for a while, and he decided to settle down and I moved in with him because Solo's girlfriend is pregnant and anyway Heero needs someone to remind him to eat daily and bathe regularly, that sort of thing. Uh. I mean. We're friends, is what I'm, uh, saying..." Duo looked down at his hand holding onto Trowa's sleeve and Trowa panicked, thinking he'd let go.

"I didn't want to presume, sorry, just," he said hastily.

"Yeah, no, I mean," Duo shrugged. His grip was loosening.

"I don't even know if you're..." Trowa shrugged.

"Well, I am, I mean, I'm pan," Duo assured him, nodding.

"I like you," Trowa blurted out. And then he heard himself.

"Good," Duo nodded, smiling crookedly.

Duo was fucking gorgeous and he said good and he was about to let go of Trowa's arm, so Trowa put his hands on Duo's face and kissed him like he'd been dreaming about kissing him.

So good.

Naga woofed happily and jumped up on the bed, her tail wagging ferociously. Trowa sighed, and pulled back. "Naga," he scolded weakly.

"She's fine," Duo laughed, his cheeks flushed, and his lips moist. "She's just doing that talking stuff for you, you know, the talking stuff boring people usually do before the kissing part."

"Sucks to be boring," Trowa intoned blankly, staring at Duo's lips.

"Sure does," Duo licked his lips, and then Trowa kissed him again because he had to.

"You guys want eggs?" Heero was standing near the doorway, looking away. "I'm going to make eggs."

"Uh..." Duo grinned, winking at Trowa. Fuck, Duo was beautiful. "Sure, Heero, we'll, um, be there in a bit."

"Got it." Heero nodded, and looked up. And then he gave Duo a thumbs up sign.

Duo slapped himself on the forehead, and Naga woofed and headbutted them.

Trowa groaned, and rubbed her ears absently, looking into Duo's eyes.

"This is not how I expected my morning to start," Duo winked at Trowa. "I hope you like your eggs in a Japanese-style omelet because that's how Heero makes 'em."

"Everything is fine," Trowa nodded, and Naga pushed her head under his arm and panted with delight.

Duo grinned goofily at the sky, and sighed with contentment. "Trowa has two birds and three cats as well as the big dog. It's hilarious because the cats have the dog totally whipped even though she's a small polar bear."


"Trowa and his ex got the house together. His ex was like super rich and they dated in college but then his ex took a job with his daddy's company and he, like, married this weird chick with forked eyebrows or something and anyway he just signed the house over to Trowa, so Trowa lives there for just the property taxes and shit, and he works at an animal shelter. He doesn't have cable, but he's got internet and streams stuff but he doesn't really like much on tv anyway. He likes foreign movies and porn. Tasteful porn. Mostly. He can speak four languages."


"Trowa painted his bedroom, like, entirely black. Like, pitch black, and his dresser is black, and his sheets are black, and he made a Hitchhiker's reference when he first showed me his room, or maybe it was Spinal Tap, but either way, it was funny, he's got a really dry sense of humor. Also, he's got really long fingers and he can play the flute. And also guitar. And sitar, but I don't really know what that is, I keep meaning to look it up..."

"You know, this is great, and I'm happy for you," Solo sighed, going over to Duo and taking him by the shoulders. He looked into Duo's eyes and smiled. "But I sincerely don't care, and if you're not going to help me get ready for this gallery show..."

"I'm helping!" Duo insisted.

"How?" Solo asked.

"I brought you iced coffee!" Duo pouted.

"I didn't ask for iced coffee, and anyway you drank it all," Solo pointed out.

"True," Duo conceded.

"Help me," Solo begged.

"Right, right," Duo rolled his eyes, grabbing his welding gloves. "...You'll let me tell you more about Trowa when we're done?"

"There's more?" Solo groaned, and Duo kicked him in the ass, so he laughed. "Sure, sure. Now, hold this up... No, not like that... er, kinda like that, but... Yes, perfect, don't move!" He grabbed the clamps to hold them pieces in place perfectly.

Duo worked mightily hard at not fidgeting, trying to remember all the things he still needed to tell Solo about Trowa. And trying not to think about the things he absolutely could not tell his big brother.