title: the good stuff
fandom: Iron Man
characters/pairings: Pepper/Rhodey, Tony
rating: Teen
warnings: drinking, kissing, implied sex
summary: Pepper and Rhodey commiserate over Tony's liquor.
notes: for wizefics, for this request on fic on demand.
dedicated to rithy. ♥

She checked her phone again. She closed it quickly, though, annoyed. Of course, if he called or messaged her, she couldn't have missed it. Tony had made damned sure of that. But...

She turned to Rhodes... James... Rhodey... She put her arm on the couch behind him, and pouted. "He promised me that he was in the car. I swear, I wouldn't have gotten on the plane if he hadn't promised me... But I'm sure he'll be here. I mean. He lets us down all the time, but still. Um." She swirled her glass around, and some brandy spilled out. It had been Rhodey's idea to raid Tony's liquor cabinet in retaliation for being four and half hours late. It had been a really good idea, too. She licked her fingers. Tony really did have all the best stuff...

"Pepper," Rhodes put his hands on her face, making her meet his eyes. "Pepper... You know what? Tony Stark... Tony Stark can just... just go... fuck himself!"

Pepper snorted, and then she couldn't stop laughing. Rhodey had been so serious! And he looked like he still really meant it!

Of course, Tony never needed to fuck himself...

She downed her glass of brandy in one go, and then slammed it on the table. They were in the New York Penthouse, waiting because Tony was supposed to be with them, he was supposed to have been there for hours, to help them finalize the presentation to the Board and to the Joint Chiefs tomorrow morning. Eight am sharp. She didn't know where Tony was.

Who Tony was doing.

"Tony Stark doesn't deserve us," she said seriously, shaking her finger shakily at him. Wow, it was like rubber, it was shaking so much. "Tony Stark is an asshole. And a creep. And... if he didn't have us, he'd be dead in a ditch whining for his little robotic toys. Tony Stark should go fuck his little robotic toys! They're all he cares about!"

Now it was Rhodey's turn to laugh. Feeling proud, she started to pour herself more brandy, but it was hard to hit such a small hole... she needed a bigger glass! "Pepper... Pepper, that's perfect. Tony can marry his damned robotic arm. And the robotic arm can... can wipe his ass."

She spilled a lot of brandy as she laughed over that one. Wipe his ass! Classic! "His robotic arm... can... can... tuck him in and then toss out his floozy in the morning," she giggled.

"Pepper!" Rhodey said urgently. She looked up at him. He took her hands. Whoa, his hands were really big... "Pepper... you're... you're really pretty. And smart. You're the prettiest and smartest girl I ever met and you're really good at handling Tony... I really admire you for that."

"Aw... Rhodey." She grinned. "You're really dedicated and sweet and you have morals and you don't kill Tony. I think that's really admirable."

"I always have a weapon on me and everything," he nodded.

She pressed her lips together and nodded in time with him. It really was amazing.

He looked at her and she smiled. He was still holding her hands so she couldn't reach the brandy.

And then he kissed her.

There was a ringing. A loud, annoying, shrill ringing. Her head was going to explode. Her mouth was completely parched, and when she tried to move her head and open her eyes, her stomach went sloshing from her toes to her shoulders.


Ringing... That was her phone. That was Tony. Shit. She rolled over... Oh, Rhodey was that way. And she was naked. And so was he. And she was going to throw up. Great.

She rolled the other way, and grabbed her phone. "Tony," she said blearily.

"Pepper!" She winced. He was all wound up, wasn't he? "Where are you? We gotta go over this stuff fast fast fast. Also, I need a bagel. What was that place that made the good bagels?"

"Tony, it's New York City." She yawned, and tried to sit up. Slowly. Damn. "Are you here already? I tried to contact you last night..."

"That's a fantastic story I can't wait to tell you so you can throw coffee in my face, but remember it's summer, so it's time for iced lattes. Now, I'm at the New York office, where are you?"

"Someplace else," she grumbled, rubbing her forehead. Oh, she'd need to wake up Rhodey, huh? "I'll be there in twenty minutes. Maybe...thirty."

"Pepper... you're going to be late. You know I don't like it when you're late," he said with childish jealousy.

She gritted her teeth. "Tony..." She was about to say it. But then she didn't. She could say it last night to Rhodey, while drunk. Go marry your robotic arm. Let it wipe your ass. But no. She couldn't say that to him.

It would hurt him.

So she didn't want to. "Twenty-five minutes, Tony. And the bagel place you like is on 5th." She switched her phone off. Damn.

She kicked Rhodey on the way to the bathroom. They didn't have much time...