title: that we bear
fandom: D.Gray-man
characters/pairings: Komui/Cross, Lenalee
rating: Teen/Mature
warnings: sex
summary: Komui will do anything to be with Lenalee again.
notes: my love for Komui, there can be no limits...

"Niisan!" Her cries ripped right through Komui's heart, making him feel weak. They were taking her away... they were taking her away... they were taking her away, and he wouldn't know where she was or in what condition she was in... They were taking her away...

"Niisan, don't let them do this to me, I don't want this, Niisan, Niisan, come save me, Niisan!" she cried out, tears pouring down her cheeks.

He tried to follow her, but the Finder stopped him. "Sir. You can't go with."

"Why not?" he wailed. "Why? Why can't I be with her?"

"They're taking her to Headquarters," he said calmly, digging his thumbs into Komui's arm, restraining him. "It's the home of all exorcists. Obviously, its location must be kept top secret; only those who are fully initiated in the Black Order may go there.

"Your sister is an exorcist, sir," the Finder continued with deadly calm. "It might be best to think of her as..."

"No!" Komui screamed out, ripping his arm away from the Finder. "She's my sister! I will find a way to join her!"

The Finder nodded once, but his dubious expression gave away what he was thinking.

Komui set his jaw, grinding his teeth. He would not give up Lenalee to anyone.

He looked the place over carefully. It had to be the place. But he would know quickly when he got in. If he went in the front door, however, he'd have no chance at all of seeing anyone of importance. He slipped in the back door, and snuck through the kitchens, quickly gathering what he needed to disguise himself as a waiter. He delivered a few trays of liquor and confections to a few rooms, and then he got his chance.

There was a cart going to the madam's room, with champagne and caviar. He slipped in ahead of another waiter, and wheeled it out of the kitchen. His hands were shaking, but he didn't need to gather his courage; this was for Lenalee. That was all he needed to say to himself. This was for Lenalee. That was all the courage he would ever need.

He entered the office of the madam, and immediately sent up a prayer to heaven for his good luck; she was alone. He wheeled the cart over, and set up the champagne and caviar on the table she indicated to him. Beyond that vague pointing, she completely ignored his existence. That was fine with him. When he was done, though, instead of leaving, he stood up straight with his hands behind his back, and cleared his throat. She looked up at him, as if surprised and somewhat dismayed to see the cockroaches were putting on an opera.

"You can go now," she said tersely.

This was for Lenalee. "Excuse me, ma'am, but I'm a scientist with the Black Order. I need to see General Marian Cross as soon as possible. My information led me to believe he was staying here...?"

Her eyes widened perceptibly, but she wasn't about to give anything away. "The Black Order? Can you prove that?"

He nodded quickly, and pulled out his cross. It wasn't actually an identifying agent, but with any luck, she wouldn't know that. "General Cross has been here securing some Innocence; headquarters sent me to get a report, and to give the General some new orders. He hates going in, you know." He smiled confidentially to her, trying to establish some ground for rapport.

She frowned, looking over the cross skeptically, but he must have said the right thing. She sighed. "That man... never ceases to cause me trouble. But we're loyal to the Order here; we know you're all working hard to save humanity. We're willing to do our part. The General is in room 28. Here." She pulled open her dress a bit more, and took out a key from inside her bra.

Komui smiled, and bowed deeply. "Thank you very much, ma'am! I cannot express to you how deep my gratitude is."

She propped her chin in her hand. "You know, I'll have to revise my opinion of scientists; if the Order ever gives you a raise, come on back, and I'll teach you a few things." She winked at him, and then went back to her books.

Blushing, he bowed to her once more, not really sure what to say, and he left. He went around the corner, and then leaned against the wall, and took a moment to hyperventilate. Actually, he'd been really, really cool in there! Of course, this was for Lenalee.

He could do anything for Lenalee.

He went around, trying his best to just stay out of the way, and he found room 28. He thought about knocking, but he needed to see Cross. He couldn't take a single chance. He unlocked the door as quietly as he could, and slipped inside.

Stretched out comfortably on the couch was a large, red-haired man with his hat pulled down over most of his face. He smirked, and drawled out, "If you're here to service me, I don't recall ordering any. Otherwise, I'd suggest getting your ass back out that door before I have to get up and kick you back to kingdom come."

Komui grimaced, but. This was for Lenalee. He could do anything. "My name is Lee Komui, and I'm a scientist with the Black Order, Chinese division. I need you to take me to Headquarters and introduce me."

"No," Cross said reasonably, "you're very good at introducing yourself." He tipped his hat back a bit, and looked Komui over head to foot. "You're also lying. You're not with the Black Order."

"I am a scientist," Komui replied testily, "I am from China, and I will be with the Black Order once you take me to headquarters."

Cross chuckled and pulled his hat down. "Nice try, kid, but without a great set of knockers, I'm not that easy."

Komui surged forward desperately. "Please, General, hear me out! I can make a great contribution to the Order. I'm a genius, to tell the truth, and I've studied, I know about the Earl and Innocence and the Order, and akuma, and I need to work at the Order."

"Join the Chinese division, like you said, and you'll get to Headquarters on your own, then," Cross yawned. "You're starting to try my patience, kid."

"I'll keep trying it, then!" Komui snapped back. He fell onto his knees and grabbed Cross' hat. "Look, I don't have time to rise through the ranks and all that bullshit. My sister..." he swallowed hard. "My little sister, Lenalee, she's all I have... She's an exorcist. Sh-she... I keep writing to her, but they return my letters. They said... she was unstable, and they needed to keep her contained, for the sake of the Innocence." He grabbed Cross' lapel. "I have to go there, be with her... If I was there, I could help her. She could become a useful exorcist. She could be helping the fight!"

"And then... she could die at the hands of the Earl, or one his minions," Cross said darkly, looking down at Komui's hand on his jacket with amusement. "Your sister's safer the way she is."

"I know what happens to exorcists," Komui growled. "I know what happens to any human, especially one fighting the Earl, at the hands of the akuma. What kind of life does she have now, though? I would rather give her a chance to live...!" He cleared his throat, and leaned back on his haunches, letting go of Cross' jacket. "Look, I wasn't kidding about being a genius. How do you think I found you? Does anyone in the Order know where you are? It was the golems, see, you use the golems to send messages to each other to communicate with..."

"Kid, telling me that you can find me when I don't want to be found isn't the best way to encourage me to take you to HQ, you know what I mean?" Cross chuckled.

"Please!" Komui begged. This bastard was driving him nuts, but for Lenalee... "Please, I need to be able to help my sister! I'll do anything! I won't bother you once I'm in, but without your help..."

"About that," Cross interjected. "Why go to all the trouble to find me when there are other Generals who would be more accommodating? Hell, even if you went to a Finder, he'd be more helpful, and less effort, too."

"Isn't that obvious?" Komui asked, blinking. "It's because you're hard to find, and so unapproachable. If anyone else brought me in, I'd be mopping the floors or something like that for months before they'd even tell me where Lenalee was being kept!"

Cross snorted, and just from the way he was acting, Komui could tell he was screwed. "So, you want me to go back to HQ... probably my least favorite place on Earth to be, and that includes the Earl's damned kitchen... so I can help you out... and what, exactly, will I be getting from the deal, then?"

Komui blinked. Well. "I'll be able to give you another exorcist for the fight," he replied confidently. Cross seemed nonplussed. "I'll be able to help, myself, with all sorts of genius advancements that will help with fight." Again, that didn't seem to leave much of an impression. He couldn't lose, though. This was for Lenalee. "I don't have much money... but I can give you what I have, and I can get more... whatever you want. This is for Lenalee. Anything that you want, I can do."

Slowly, Cross started to smile. He put one foot on top of the other, and put his hands behind his head. "Can you? Well. There's a price to be paid, then, and you'll pay it with your body. Normally, I don't fancy guys, but you're pretty enough... especially with that long hair. I'm a sucker for Asian hair. On your stomach, there won't be much difference."

Komui was sure he was hearing this wrong. "Wh-what the hell are you talking about?" He inched back. This was a General of the Black Order. He couldn't mean...

Cross chuckled, and tipped his head back. "It's your choice, kid. You can either service me, or find another General to take you to your sister."

His cheeks burned bright red. He meant...! "Pervert!"

Cross laughed out loud. "You know where the door is, kid. Have a nice night."

Komui thought he might die from the humiliation. He was offering his talents and skills and brains to Cross and the Order, even though they stole Lenalee from him... and all Cross wanted...

Cross was bluffing. Komui had studied him, and he knew Cross was a womanizer, but he had no history with men. Cross said so himself. If Cross knew how determined he was...

What difference did it make, anyway? He thought of Lenalee, confined, alone, scared...

His body was nothing.

He slipped his jacket off, and started to undo his shirt.

"Eh?" Cross looked up. "What are you doing?"

Komui's cheeks couldn't get any redder. "This is what you wanted me to do, right? Sorry if I'm not very skilled, but I've never whored myself out before."

"Well, then, get over here, and let me show you how," Cross purred.

Komui couldn't look the man in the eye as he inched closer. As soon as he was within arm's reach, Cross grabbed him by the waist of his pants, and pulled him to sit on the couch with Cross. "Let's start here, mm?" Cross' face was very close, his lips were close to Komui's neck, and his hands... he was undoing Komui's ponytail. Komui's heart was pounding. Cross' hands were hot. He hadn't realized... having someone else's hands on his body would be so hot. Someone else's breath...

"You're trembling," Cross purred seductively. He ran his fingers through Komui's hair, letting the strands fall down in a dark cascade over Komui's shoulders. "Your first time with a man, too, then? Don't worry. I'll be gentle."

Komui turned his face away, scowling. "Sorry for being inexperienced. You're the one who set this price."

Cross started to open his shirt, from the collar down, pressing his lips to Komui's skin. Komui couldn't stop shaking; Cross' lips were hot and wet, and despite himself, Komui was getting aroused. Cross' big hands were spreading out over his chest, his fingers on Komui's nipples...

Komui groaned, and shuddered, unconsciously moving closer to Cross.

Cross chuckled deeply, and Komui could feel it, feel it as his body was pulled close to Cross' huge chest.

God fucking damn it...

"This isn't just your first time with a man. This is your first time, isn't it? Well, well. This is a more valuable asset that you're handing over than I thought, isn't it?" Komui's eyes narrowed. This bastard... if it wasn't for Lenalee... "This sister of yours. She must be precious to you."

"Well, of course..." Komui spat out.

"Look at me," Cross commanded. He put his hand on Komui's face, and turned him so he couldn't help but look at Cross.

Next thing he knew, he was kissing Cross, unable to keep Cross' tongue out of his mouth, and his back was flat against the cushions of the couch. His shirt was opened all the way and pushed off his shoulders. He realized... this would really happen. He was really going to have sex with this perverted General.

And if he wasn't so damned aroused, he might be able to do something about it. Fucking Cross, with his talented tongue and hands and damn it, he was opening Komui's pants.

Gasping, Komui broke off the kiss, and turned his face away. "W-why are you...?"

Cross leaned up, and dragged his fingers, tangled in Komui's hair, down Komui's chest, leaving Komui's dark hair there against his pearl colored skin. "Because you're beautiful, and, to tell you the truth, I want you, Lee Komui."

Komui's eyes widened, and he wasn't able to breathe right, watching Cross take off his clothes. Cross' skin was scarred, probably from battles, and tanned. Komui's body felt weak, and too hot. Cross licked his lips, and tugged on Komui's waistband. "Lift your hips, kid."

He squeezed his eyes shut, and did as Cross told him. His pants... his boxers... they were being pulled down. He was being exposed.

"Your hair down here is dark, too," Cross purred, and Komui's eyes flew open as he realized that Cross' mouth was... "Soft, too." Cross' mouth was on his hip. His pants were pulled away entirely, and he was completely naked before this man. He didn't realize it, he hadn't known he wanted it, but his hands were in Cross' hair. "You're underfed. It's a hard life, isn't it, kid?"

He didn't know what Cross meant for him to say. It didn't matter, because Cross' tongue glided up his cock, and he couldn't have said anything, anyway. Cross chuckled, and he leaned up to kiss Komui again, and this time, he didn't need to force his tongue into Komui's mouth, because Komui wasn't able to resist him. He wasn't aware of being picked up and carried, because Cross didn't break the kiss, but he whimpered as Cross laid him down on the silk sheets of the brothel's bed. Cross stood up and licked his fingers, looking down at Komui. Then, he took his own pants off.

"We're both men, kid, so you're going to need that oil there. You'll need to get your hole nice and slick, and you'll need to get my cock slick, too. You understand?" He grinned as Komui looked up at him, horrified. "I can't believe you still have these on..." He reached down, and took off Komui's glasses, slowly, looking into Komui's eyes. "You still want to do this?"

Komui's hands were shaking. Intellectually, he understood this. Muscle and tissue stretched, and once that was inside of him, he'd feel pleasure. Still. Cross was large, and Komui was a bit scared. "I won't let her down," he whispered fiercely, and he poured oil all over his hand.

"Sheesh," Cross sighed, grinning. "I'd prefer it if you thought about me instead of your little sister. Oh, well. I'll have to show you." He took Komui's hand, and led his fingers to his hole. Cross' hand on top of his hand, Cross' fingers leading his fingers to massage his muscle, Cross pushing his fingers into his body...

Komui groaned, and thrashed around like a cheap whore. He felt a bit like that, too, but... It wasn't a small prize he was winning with this. And Cross... Cross was looking at him like he was...

Turning his face to the side, Komui squeezed his eyes shut. He wasn't beautiful or anything like that; actually, he'd never given his appearance a thought. There were more interesting things to do, like read and build things and take things apart, and he had to protect his sister... Lenalee... this was for...

"Hey. Don't stop looking at me," Cross said kindly, turning Komui's face back. When he looked right into Cross' eyes, Komui felt tiny, helpless, and needy. "Now, it's time for this." Cross put more oil on Komui's hand, and he put Komui's hand on his cock. "Stroke it. Get it nice and oiled up. Fuck. That's going inside of you, kid. This is your last chance. If you want to run, then run now."

Komui wrapped his fingers around Cross' cock delicately. He was confused, jumbled. This was for Lenalee... somehow. And.

He pushed up on his elbow, and put his mouth on Cross' stubbly neck. He nibbled his way up to just under Cross' ear, stroking Cross the whole time. It wasn't like beating himself off. Cross was thicker, and the heat was entirely different. Maybe it was the oil.

Cross groaned hard, and then pushed Komui down, kissing him hard, passionately. Komui never even imagined being kissed like that before. He knew it was going to happen. Soon. Now. For some reason, he felt guilty. This wasn't really about Lenalee, was it? How could he stop to have fun when Lenalee was suffering...?

Cross pulled up, and grabbed Komui's knee. "It's now, kid. No turning back." Even though he spoke roughly, he moved slowly, and he had his hand on Komui's cock, and that felt like nothing he'd dreamed of before, Cross' big, thick fingers, moving fast, and he was trapped on his hair, making it hard to move, but still, he pushed down with his hips, wanting more.

He really was a whore. But. Just because it was Cross... it was what Cross wanted...

Not that it really mattered now. Cross was pushing inside of him, and there was pain, but Cross was stroking his cock, too, and he reached out to touch Komui's cheek... "Stay with me, beautiful. Look at me. Look at what I'm doing to you."

Fuck him, anyway, and his stupid... Komui cried out, and Cross chuckled, and pulled Komui's leg up higher, so he could hit that place again, harder. Komui threw his head back and screamed.

Fuck him. Komui was going to enjoy every second of this... show this bastard...

He was so deeply asleep, he wasn't aware of dreams. But there was a niggling sense of annoyance. Something was bothering him. He tried to shift, and something chuckled, and then the annoyance followed him, got worse. Something was scratching his face, so he swatted at it. His hand was caught, though, before he could get rid of the disturbance, and someone chuckled, and he could feel it in his back.

He opened his eyes, and glared over his shoulder at that bastard Cross. "Get off of me, you big hairy beast."

"You're cruel, Lee Komui," Cross jovially said. "Don't I get a good morning kiss?"

"Keep your filthy mouth away from me," Komui sneered, wrinkling his nose. He bent his head down, trying to duck his face away from Cross. Something felt odd...

Cross tickled his nose with something, something dark, soft... He looked at it, narrowing his eyes.

He sat up quickly, throwing back the blankets, and trying to push Cross away. He felt behind him, his hair... "You fucking prick! Just what the hell are you thinking?!"

"It's a souvenir," Cross amicably said, looking affronted. "You have such beautiful hair. Consider this part of the price. After you're gone, I'll still have this to remind me of you... I can jack off while..."

"Oh, stuff it, you jackass," Komui sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair... his short hair. Would Lenalee still recognize him?

Cross slipped the knot of hair between his fingers. "Sitting there like that... I might demand another round from you."

Komui looked down at himself, and realized that he was nude, and exposed, but he couldn't be bothered enough to care. He turned his back to Cross and huffed. "Whatever, you pervert. When can we leave for Headquarters?"

"About that," Cross yawned. "I was thinking. I'll give you a map and write you a letter of introduction. That should be all that you need."

Komui's eyes widened. "That was not our agreement. You've already gotten more service from me than you deserve. You will fulfill your half of the bargain," he growled, turning to glare at Cross.

The bastard just stretched out in bed and grinned, chewing on the end of Komui's hair. "And how will you force me, kid?" He seemed genuinely amused, interested in what Komui would say.

Komui turned, and crawled up the bed, into Cross' lap. "I know you're stronger than I am. And you have Innocence. And you're a big, terrible General, so it's not like I think I could force you." He grinned, slipped his arms around Cross' neck, slithering in close, his lips parted, his eyes half lidded... "Do you know where your golem is, oh mighty General?" Cross' smile didn't fade, but he did look around the room, and when he didn't see the little golden ball winging around... "Because I do," Komui whispered seductively. "And I also know how to program him so that any time you start to put the moves on some woman, he'll give her a show of graphic detail that will convince her that you're really only into the boys." He licked under Cross' ear, digging his fingernails into the back of Cross' neck.

After a moment, Cross chuckled. "You really are a smart one, aren't you?"

"You don't know the half of it," Komui confidently assured him.

"Fine," Cross sighed, sounding put out. "But if I have to go back to that place, I'm going to need a bit more incentive."

"Eh?" Komui raised an eyebrow, but he was on his back again in a minute, no longer wondering what Cross meant.

Komui positioned the beret on his head a bit better. He followed the old man who was the head supervisor, trying to swallow down his elation. Finally, after so long... it had been three years... three years of preparing himself, studying, searching...

And. Other things.

Three years, and he was now being led... He wanted to laugh, or sing, or push this kooky old man away and run ahead... if he only knew where he was going...

The old man came to a stop, and knocked on a door. Inside. Inside was Lenalee... A guy in a white jacket like the one he was now wearing stepped out. "Eh? Supervisor?"

"This is a new recruit. He's going to go in to help you with her," the Head Supervisor stepped aside, letting the guy see Komui.

The guy just frowned. "He looks pretty green. An unstable exorcist is not the place to start out training, you know."

Before Komui could even voice his objection, the Head Supervisor laughed. "This guy was brought in by General Cross himself, and he told us to put him on this girl's case."

"Eh?!" The guy looked Komui over again, clearly seeing things differently. "So, this is the guy who got General Cross to come home..."

"Oh, yeah, and he's the girl's brother," the Head Supervisor laughed. He patted Komui on the back. "Good luck, kid," he said, and turned on his heel, presumably to return to his mountain of paperwork and books.

"Ah, you're Komui-niisan, then," the guy said, grinning. "Well. Let's go, then. Let's see what you can do."

Komui felt entirely rational anger slice through him. If Lenalee had been asking for him... why didn't they bring him sooner?! It didn't matter anymore, though. It didn't matter...

He stepped inside. Lenalee... He felt cold, down to his bones. Lenalee was strapped down to a bed, thrashing and crying, wordlessly, like her frustration had gotten to be so great, she no longer had words. Komui pushed past everyone else in the room, and went to Lenalee's side.

Lenalee. His Lenalee. She looked. Fuck. She looked exhausted, and in pain. His heart thumped painfully, and he trembled.

His Lenalee. For so long... this was all she knew...

He made himself smile, though, and it wasn't too hard. His Lenalee was, finally, right before him. The price that he'd paid seemed trivial now. He reached down, and brushed her bangs out of the way.

"Lenalee. Le~na~lee. My little Lena~lee." She went still, and jerked to look at him, her glassy eyes slowly focusing, recognition slowly growing. He took her hand, and squeezed. "Lenalee. It's me."

She smiled, tired, and squeezed his hand back. Her voice was weary and so relieved. "Niisan."