title: terminal
fandom: Peacemaker Kurogane
characters/pairings: Hijikata/Okita
rating: G
warnings: illness
summary: Hijikata can only watch.
notes: experimenting with povs, i suppose. i think this is second person...? ^_^;;;;;;

You watch him cough, and you know that if you asked him, he would just smile and insist he was fine. He isn't fine, but you can't face it, because you both know. If it's not just a cough, then it's something there's no cure for, and he's dying.

After the Ikedaya Affair, everyone whispered about his cough, blaming his sickness on that night, but you know he'd been coughing for a long time before that. His smile was so bright and infectious, no one else noticed it was a lie.

Because there isn't much time left, and because you don't know how much time there is, you need him more than ever. As your mouth moves up his body, you notice how he's actually getting skinny, and even though you know it's a contagious disease, your passion for him grows. Because you can't bear to live without him, so even if it costs you your life, you need to be with him. If there's a way you can be sure you'd go before him, you plunge in, head first.

Maybe that's why you seem reckless and arrogant to everyone else. You listen to him wheezing and you think that if you could raise your fist to a god, you would.

Life is unfair, and you know it. He still smiles, and he still charms everyone. His blade is still as lethal and as gorgeous. He's still himself. But for how much longer...

You hold him in your arms, and promise him things you can't even understand, and he laughs at you, and that's probably why you are saying such silly things, because his laughter is precious music.

There can't be much time left, so as the world starts to fall apart around you, you don't care. You throw yourself into battle. The world is ending for him, so it might as well end for you, too.