title: Seen
fandom: Star Wars
characters/pairings: pseudo-Qui-Gon/Anakin, Obi-Wan
rating: G/Teen
warnings: none
summary: Anakin meditates.
notes: for my darling laura, her rare pairings ficlet. and damn! did she pick a rare one! took me ages to try to wrap my brain around this one, and i kept coming up with lame blue ghosts talking fics. then this came to me this afternoon... i hope it works.

Anakin did not slam the door. His master would most definitely not approve of slammed doors. It would not be dignified. Jedi did not slam doors.

He sank to the floor, and put his face in his hands. No matter what he did, he could never impress his master. Anakin knew he was special. He knew his training was unusual, and that he was different. He knew that he had abilities that his age mates did not have. But Master Obi Wan never saw it. No matter what, all his master saw was the myriad of ways that he didn't fit the perfect image of the Jedi. It was because of his special talents and unique gifts that he had so much to offer the Jedi, but Obi Wan was a perfect knight, and he wanted a perfect padawan.

He got stuck with Anakin instead.

Anakin put his hands on the floor, and concentrated on breathing deeply and evenly. He could see the signs of tears coming. Back home, no one ever cried. It was a waste of water. Only sometimes, a tear or two was shed. Anakin had traveled to over a hundred worlds since he had left home, some completely aqueous, some nearly as arid as Tatooine, but he could never shake some of the desert habits he had grown up with, no matter how much training he had.

He would not cry over his master. Someday, he would show his master how amazing he really was. And on that day, when Obi Wan was forced to realize what gifts Anakin had to offer, he would really see Anakin, and not just the obligation.

That day would be the day that everything changed.

His breathing regulated, Anakin sat up straight, and settled himself into a posture for meditation. He closed his eyes, and let the force wash over him.

It took him a moment to choose, but he drifted into his favorite meditation.

He had to remember the smell first. That was the first thing that really hit him about Master Qui Gon. It was a spicy, aromatic odor, slightly bitter, slightly dry. It was homey. He remembered the sound of Qui Gon's voice, the way it rumbled, and when he had held Anakin to his chest, Anakin could feel it, like the giant purr of a great cat. Already, he was placed in Qui Gon's arms, his voice and smell surrounding him. He just needed to concentrate.

Judicious use of the force brought Qui Gon's touch to his face, the scratchy but gentle feel of his fingers over Anakin's skin. All he had to do was conjure the image in his mind, and he was there.

Qui Gon smiled down at Anakin, his soft eyes crinkling with pleasure. "Ani, you've done very well."

"Do you think so, Master?" Anakin breathed, pushing himself tighter into Qui Gon's embrace.

Qui Gon ran his finger down Anakin's nose. "Yes, my little one. You've exceeded my expectations, and I expected a great deal from you."

Anakin smiled. "Thank you, Master. I wish Obi Wan could see it."

Qui Gon laughed. Anakin pushed his face against Qui Gon's chest so he could really listen to it. "Obi Wan is lucky he was not saddled with a padawan as cantankerous and ornery as himself! Don't mind Obi Wan, my little one. He wants to mold you into something he can't even quite fathom. Your greatness will come from inside of you. He will see, one day."

"Promise?" Anakin asked, his voice trembling.

"Promise," Qui Gon swore, kissing Anakin's forehead.

Anakin sighed happily, and tilted his head back. "Do you love me, Master?"

"Of course I do, Ani. How can I resist you?" Qui Gon dipped down to just nip at Anakin's lips.

Anakin smiled, and put his hands on Qui Gon's beard. "Do you love me more than you love Obi Wan?"

"Naturally," Qui Gon answered with another kiss. "You were the padawan I choose. I wanted you desperately, Ani. Just remember all the effort I went to to get you... You were mine, from the moment I first saw you."

Anakin let Qui Gon push him down to the ground, and open his robes. Qui Gon's hair trickled over Anakin's ribs, and his beard scratched as his soft lips touched Anakin's skin. "You... you want me, right?"

"Yes," Qui Gon hissed softly, running his tongue up Anakin's neck. "Want you more than I've ever wanted anyone... So much more than I could ever want Obi Wan..."

Anakin purred, and bucked his hips up to grind against Qui Gon's body. He grabbed onto the back of Qui Gon's neck, digging his fingers into Qui Gon's coarse, thick hair. He...

"Padawan?"

Anakin sat bolt upright at his master's voice. "Master Obi Wan! Yes! I, ah..."

"What were you doing?" Obi Wan's cultured voice had so many layers of disapproval to it that sometimes Anakin was certain that he did not even breathe correctly.

Anakin's cheeks went flame red, and he pulled his robe together tightly. "I was just meditating, Master! I, uh, fell into a deep meditation, and, well, I lost track of..." No, that was the wrong thing to say, he was surely going to be punished if he said that... "my position. I'm sorry."

Obi Wan wrinkled his nose and folded his hands into the sleeves of his robe regally. "Never mind, Padawan. The negotiations were settled. We shall be leaving within the hour. Prepare the shuttle."

"Yes, Master!" Anakin leapt to his feet quickly, ready to jog off immediately.

"Anakin," Obi Wan cautioned him. "Don't... Don't be so hard on yourself. What happened this morning was an honest mistake. That's why you have me, to teach you so that you can become a representative of the Jedi order. Everyone... everyone needs time to grow, Padawan."

Anakin blinked. It looked as if his master was trying to smile gently at him. He wondered how many times Qui Gon had smiled gently at Obi Wan during his training. He wondered how quickly Obi Wan would smile if he could get Qui Gon back. Anakin swallowed the taste of ash in his throat, and smiled at his master. "Thank you." He nodded, and headed off to the shuttle.

Someday. Someday, Obi Wan would see him. And what a day that would be...








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