title: right green
fandom: Gundam Wing
characters/pairings: Duo/Heero
rating: G
warnings: shopping, conventions
summary: Duo gets Heero ready for the convention...
notes: for my beloved samikitty, a bit belated for her birthday... ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ i'm sorry it's not better!!! T_T

Duo was frowning. This was giving Heero an itchy feeling behind his ears. It was the feeling that there was much more shopping ahead of him, and he was already past his tolerance. "This is fine, right? It's green. It's a tank top." He held it out a bit further from his body, trying to show Duo it's greenness and its tank topness.

Duo's frown, however, only deepened. "I know, but... is it the right shade of green? I'm not sure..."

Heero would not be defeated by poor color selection. "You know, I have the actual tank I wore during the war still. It's in a trunk. At home. I could wear that..."

"No way," Duo shook his head, his brain swinging back and forth. "See, it's not about the real reality as much as it is about the fans' reality. It's a question of perception. Our goal is not to look authentic authentic, but to look like what a fan would consider authentic. Don't you get it?"

Not at all. Not even a little bit. "I have no idea why you want to go to this place, anyway," Heero grumbled, rolling up the not right green tank top and putting it back on the shelf. Damn tank.

"Heero, we've been through this," Duo sighed. "If I buy the dolls online, I'll pay an arm and a leg in shipping. If I go to the convention, I can get them for a lot less."

"It's a Gundam Pilots Convention," Heero said, hoping this time, Duo would actually get it.

"I know. I want a Gundam Pilots action figure set," Duo stated flatly.

Heero wanted to ask why for the hundredth time, but the past ninety-nine times hadn't elicited a satisfactory answer, and he was now afraid. Very afraid. "Fine... but... if we're dressing up as ourselves why don't we just go as ourselves and not worry about dressing up?"

The way Duo was looking at him made him feel like he was indeed the dumbest person who ever lived. "Heero, we can't go as ourselves. Those crazy fangirls will eat us alive. You know what a Gundam Pilot fangirl is like?"

Actually, Trowa had helpfully supplied Heero with some fansites after Duo first concocted this horrible plan, so Heero was now terribly aware of what those beasts were like. "Well, but then..."

"Look," Duo sighed, and he spoke really slowly, obviously for Heero's benefit. "If we dress up as ourselves, we'll totally blend into the crowd. We can even have a few laughs as people critique our 'costumes.' If we just go as ourselves, we'll get mobbed. These fangirls are very finicky. Just think of it as an adventure!"

Heero looked down into their cart. This 'adventure' was already calling for nearly a dozen hair extensions, so Duo could make his hair thicker and more chestnut brown, which Heero was sure was not a real hair color. They had to buy the tightest bike shorts in the world, apparently, and the orangest gym shoes. And Duo was going to wear black parachute pants, a black shirt with roman collar, and brown boots.

And they were going to go dressed up in this gear, and the right green tank top to finish it off, and go wading through hundreds of fangirls to buy dolls. That looked like them.

Back in the day, he used to go on adventures that involved slicing open men twice his size and stealing weapons and technology. Those were the days.

"Look, just do what I say, and when we get back from the big bad convention, I'll do that thing with the hot wax and peanut butter," Duo promised, grinning that sexy devilish smile.

Heero couldn't help it. He liked peanut butter... "And at this big bad convention, can we..." He grabbed Duo by the waist, and dipped him, kissing him hard.

It was a great and epic kiss, except for the elderly couple pushing their giant cart together through the megastore's slightly too narrow aisle. "Look, Earl, it's those gays we read about in the paper." Earl made something that was either a grunt or a plea for mercy.

Heero let Duo back up again, looking into Duo's eyes. If Duo laughed first, then he could laugh, too, but Duo proved to be more resilient.

"Maybe that green is close enough," Duo conceded.

"Thank you," Heero sighed.