title: Puptens
fandom: Free!
characters/pairings: Makoto/Haruka/Rin, Nagisa, Rei
rating: G
warnings: crack, pupten cuteness
summary: The stork finally arrives to the Iwatobi Animal Shelter!?!
notes: the wonderful and amazing teicakes was so amused by Makoto's innocent miscomprehension of how babies were made in the last story that she made this lovely fanart (below) of Makoto's beautiful litter of puptens. and i just had to, because... lookit that art!! socute!! the name "puptens" is from teicakes, too.

It was entirely too early for Makoto to be making a racket. Haru absolutely refused to open even one eyelid to see what was the matter with the dog.

"What's the matter with the dog?" Rin grumbled.

Haru ignored him, too.

"They're here! Haru, Rin, they're here! Our litter! They're finally here!" Makoto woofed and bounced around noisily.

Too early!!

"What the hell... What are all these cats doing here?! Wait... are these... cats... what are these?!" Rin hissed.

"They're our litter! Rin, behave. Haru, Haru, look, look!" Makoto begged.

Haru opened one eye.

And then promptly wished that he hadn't.

Little cat... dog... things... were roaming all over. Two were black and two were brown, one very light brown with a white-tipped tail. And one was...

Haru lifted his head and narrowed his eyes. "Why is one of them red?"

Rin sat up and puffed out his chest. "Well, that one is pretty cute, I admit. Even has the white on the tail and ears. Nicely done."

Haru bared his fangs.

"Haru, Haru, be nice! We have to name them! Our beautiful litter..." Mako put his nose on the head of one of them, a black one with pointed ears who prompted acted like he didn't care, but he did end up edging closer to Makoto.

And then he gave Haru a triumphant look.

The hair on the back of Haru's spine rose.

One of the... the... litter was wagging their tail disgracefully. One was licking their paw and purring. Another was chasing their tail.

This was a trainwreck!

"I really was starting to believe they'd never come," Makoto sniffed.

The light brown one came up to him and made a sound like a tiny, deflated woof. "Mama?"

"Yes!" Makoto cried out joyously. "I'm your mama!!" His tail started to thump on the floor loudly, it was so out of control.

"We have to send them back," Haru hissed to Rin. "Wherever they came from... they have to go back!"

The disgracefully red one came up to Rin. "Papa?"

Rin cocked his head to the side. "Well, ah... sure?"

"Papa!" the red one bumped into Rin, rubbing their bodies together. Then they tried to sniff Rin's butt.

"No! No, we don't do that!" Rin tried to get his butt away from the red one's nose. "We don't do that!"

Haru flattened his ears.

"Name them Nagisa! Name them Rei!" Nagisa squawked as he jumped from perch to perch, chasing the new Rei.

"Those are names for fliers," Makoto said reasonably. "C'mon, Haru, we have to give our babies names!"

The black one with pointed ears rubbed around Makoto's chest possessively.

This had to be a nightmare!

Haru's head jerked up.

"Haru?" Makoto asked sleepily.

The room was dark. Rin was snoring against Makoto's belly. Haru was against Makoto's chest. The bird was asleep in the cage, and the butterfly was trying to find a way out of the cage.

There was no other living thing in the room.

Haru shook himself, and delicately rearranged himself, putting his head down on his legs. "Mm. Just a bad dream."

Makoto rubbed his chin on Haru's head. "Don't worry, Haru. I'll protect you."

"You'd better," Haru grumbled. "No puptens."

"Huh? What are those?"

"Nothing," Haru said forcefully, and he closed his eyes again, willing himself to dream of chasing fish.

"Sleep well, Haru!" Makoto sunnily bid him, and the dog went back to sleep, too.