title: Like, Totally
fandom: House
characters/pairings: Cameron/Cuddy... ish
rating: G/Teen
warnings: this is no way is meant to be taken seriously. like, totally.
summary: Cameron and Cuddy hang out, valley girl style
notes: in the season two dvds, there are two extras where Cameron and Cuddy play their scenes as valley girls. the dvds are worth it for these scenes alone. ^_^ i had to play with valley girl!Cameron and Cuddy, had to...
takes place during the episode Failure to Communicate; season 2, episode 10.

Cameron rolled over to her back, wrinkling the page of the New England Journal of Medicine that she was reading. The hospital was so quiet at night, and Cuddy's office was really cool. She wanted an office like this. Like, now. "This article is, like, so complicated. I can't even read it. It's making my brain, like, swell."

Cuddy snickered, and turned over, so her legs were hanging off the back of the couch, and she could look at Cameron upside down. "Why are you even reading that? Can you understand any of it?"

"No," Cameron whined.

"That's 'cause you're stupid," Cuddy said, going back to reading Elle.

"Shut up!" Cameron laughed. "You're such a bitch. Like, some of these things aren't even words. It's so unfair."

Cuddy laughed. "Let me see. The Effect of Infections on Susceptibility to Autoimmune and Allergic Diseases. That's like, so lame. Aren't you all educated in that stuff or something? I bet that guy, like, has never had sex."

Cameron snickered, and pulled the magazine back. "Yeah, I know. He's, like, completely lame. I hate this. Wanna trade?" she asked, hopefully.

"No way," Cuddy made a face. "It's like, way too late for thinking things. Hey, that reporter guy upstairs? Are you totally killing him?"

"Yeah," Cameron shrugged. "It's such a bummer. I'm gonna get, like, fired and stuff."

"Yeah, you totally are," Cuddy agreed.

"Bitch," Cameron sulked.

"It's not my fault," Cuddy shrugged. "It's, like, rules and stuff."

"I hate rules," Cameron pouted. "House should totally be here."

"House is probably with Stacy. You know." Cuddy snickered. "With her."

Cameron wrinkled her nose. "Oh, shut up! Stacy is, like, totally married and she's, like, over House, right?"

"You just wish you were doing House," Cuddy laughed viciously. "But he totally rejected you and stuff."

"Shut up," Cameron groused. "He's just, like, addicted to misery. Maybe that's why he's so into Stacy and her boney ass."

"Like you can talk," Cuddy stuck her tongue out at Cameron. "You're, like, way skinny. I'm so jealous."

"Thanks!" Cameron beamed. "I've been on a diet for, like, ages."

"Yeah, me, too," Cuddy sighed. "Except for, like, chocolate. I freakin' love chocolate."

"Are you saying you wouldn't do House if you could?" Cameron asked, turning around to face Cuddy.

"I could totally do House if I wanted to. He's, like, got no morals. But I don't want to. It'd be, like, weird. Besides, Wilson is hotter, though I wouldn't do him, either. That'd be, like, swimming in a hepatitis pool." She made a really weird face, and Cameron laughed.

"Do you think, like, that House and Wilson..." She let her voice trail off, and she wagged her eyebrows comically.

"Oh, they, like, totally do. Don't tell me you didn't know? Like, everyone knows." She rolled her eyes.

"I'd like to watch," Cameron said idly.

"Yeah, me, too," Cuddy agreed.

"That'd be so hot. Like Girls Gone Wild, but with boys." Cameron sighed.

"Would you ever be on Girls Gone Wild?" Cuddy dropped her magazine and looked at Cameron.

"Maybe," Cameron shrugged. "But, like, I have no chest, so." She pouted, and pulled up the neckline of her shirt to look down at her chest.

"Yeah, but if you make out with another girl, like, naked, they don't care if you have no chest," Cuddy replied matter-of-factly.

Cameron giggled. "You sound like you'd know. But you have, like, a great rack. You could be on there without having to make out with a girl."

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" Cuddy asked, sliding down to sit on the floor. "I bet girls are better kissers than boys."

"Probably," Cameron agreed, sitting up. "Do you, like, wanna make out?"

"Sure, why not?" Cuddy shrugged, and pulled Cameron closer.

Cameron giggled. "Like, all the guys here would totally pay to watch this."

"Totally," Cuddy agreed, and leaned in to kiss Cameron, slipping her hand up Cameron's shirt.