title: Learning the Divine Move, Step One
fandom: Hikaru no Go
characters/pairings: Hikaru/Akira
rating: G
warnings: That Talk About Sai
summary: Akira needs to know.
notes: for katharos_8, for this request on fic on demand. placed loosely in the universe of all my hng fics, ie, hikaru and akira are living together.

It wasn't unusual at all, but it was getting to be more frequent. Akira sat up on his bedroll, and watched his roommate, his... boyfriend? Watched Hikaru writhe on his bedroll.

Over and over again, Hikaru called out for Sai, begged Sai not to leave him, pleaded for Sai to come back.

Akira hugged himself, and worried his bottom lip.

He couldn't wait too much longer for Hikaru to decide to tell him.

Hikaru wanted to walk home from the Go Institute. He'd played a damn fine game, and it wouldn't be long before he'd be 3-dan. They still had nearly three weeks before the Meijin qualifiers, so it was a good time.

It was spring, and cherry trees were in bloom.

Akira lagged further and further behind Hikaru. He couldn't help but smile to see Hikaru bouncing around like he did when they first met. Akira knew him as well as anyone did; possibly better. He'd met all of Hikaru's family, his friends, and even visited his old school's fair. There was a gap, though, in Hikaru's life of which he knew only the shallowest of details. It was like a black hole in the middle of Hikaru, something no one even suspected was there.

Akira came to a standstill, and watched Hikaru get away from him. His chest ached. He didn't understand... He knew that he and Hikaru had as much as committed themselves to each other. He believed in their bond, no matter what.


Hikaru turned around, and searched for him. "Hey, Akira!" Huffing, Hikaru trotted back to retrieve Akira. "What are you doing? We're going for ramen, remember?"

Akira smiled painfully. "Will you ever trust me, Hikaru?"

"What?" Hikaru took a step back, and stared at Akira as if he'd suddenly sprouted wings. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Akira looked away, at the little petals littering the ground. "I know you miss him. You... you must have loved him. But you never talk about him, not to anyone, apparently. Who is Sai? He's your secret. But... you did promise to tell me, one day... tell me all your secrets..." His voice trailed off.

"Mhm," Hikaru pouted. "What brings this on, all of a sudden?" He sighed, and put his hands behind his head. "I didn't think there was any hurry."

"Of course not," Akira sighed, feeling bitter enough to choke on his feelings. "Why would you hurry? I'll always be there, right?"

He started off, his feet and arms feeling heavy.

Hikaru sighed heavily. "Come on. Let's go this way. Sheesh, you are such a pain..." He kept grumbling, so he had no choice but to follow him. They went to Hikaru's grandfather's house, but Hikaru just yelled in that he was taking Akira up to the attic. Pensively, Akira followed him, still, uncertain as to why they were there.

Amid the dust and under covers, Hikaru revealed what might have been the oldest goban Akira had ever seen up close.

Hikaru plopped down on the floor, and sighed. "I'll tell you. Everything. On two conditions, all right? The first is that you have to believe me, because even if it seems unreal, what I'm going to tell you is true. And the second is... you can't get mad at me, ok, because I never lied to you, and I didn't understand at first anyway, so... no getting mad, all right?"

Akira gingerly lowered himself to the floor, and nodded. "I don't really know what you're talking about... but all right. I'll believe you, and I won't get mad."

"Promise?" Hikaru asked, stubbornly.

"Promise," Akira smiled.

Hikaru leaned over the goban and kissed Akira quickly. They... did that sometimes, but... it still made Akira blush. "Ok, we sealed that promise with a kiss, so... you have to fulfill your end." He looked away, and rubbed his palms over his thighs. He took a deep breath, and started talking.

Blood stain on the goban. A ghost, in ancient clothing. A palace scandal a millennia ago. The secret of Honinbo Shusaku's strength.

Their first meeting.

Their school tournament match.

His match with Sai...

Sai leaving.

Hikaru abandoning go.

Isumi bringing him back.

His dream.

Akira sat, and stared at the board, and he knew that not even Hikaru could see the bloodstains now, but he searched for them, nevertheless.

What if he had found this goban? Was it fate?

"Akira?" Hikaru asked, his hands reaching out to, but not quite touching, Akira's hands. "C'mon, you promised."

He nodded, because he didn't know what to say just yet. "It... I... I do believe you. It makes sense. But... This means... I played... I played Honinbo Shusaku."

Hikaru smiled nervously. "He was very impressed by you."

Akira's head shot up. "Wh-what?"

Hikaru giggled. "Really!"

Shaking his head, Akira tried to steady his breath. "Maybe... maybe it was fate that it was you that found him. If it had been me... I'd have been so scared of him... I'd have just let him play, like Torajiro."

"Maybe that wouldn't have been so bad," Hikaru sighed, clenching his hands into fists. "He was... he was the best... I should have..."

Akira reached out, and grabbed Hikaru's wrists. "The first lesson of go is: this is not a game you can play alone. Remember? The god of go is waiting for us to catch up to him. No one can find the divine move alone. We have to seek it together. Maybe.... That's why... our fates..."

Hikaru opened his hands, and turned them, so he could hold onto Akira's. He leaned across the goban again, but this time slowly, so slowly. Akira leaned forward, too, his heart hammering. Their lips touched, opened, their tongues...

"What are you two doing up there?" Hikaru's grandfather grumbled. "Grandmother made soba! Come down, eat, eat! It's not good to stay up in the dust all night!"

Hikaru laughed so hard, he rolled over onto the ground. He got huge dust bunnies in his hair, and Akira had to brush them away. He leaned down, over Hikaru, and kissed him.

As they walked home, laden down with food Hikaru's grandmother insisted they take with him, Akira looked up to the stars. "But you know... if it had been me, and I'd had Sai as a teacher... I'd be way above 2-dan by now."

"Oh, you are going to eat those words..." Hikaru laughed, swiping Akira's shoulder. "Who d'ya think is going to be the new Meijin this year?"

"You?" Akira laughed skeptically. "You're a hundred years too early."

"Pffbt!" Hikaru rolled his eyes, and ran ahead. "C'mon! You know who my teacher was, now. Can you catch me?"

Akira picked up his pace, but he did not run. "Catch you? You've got that backwards, don't you?"

They continued to bait each other all the way home, and so they had to play as soon as they got inside their apartment. They played speed go, and they played all white go, and they played three games at once. The stones clacked on the boards, and they didn't get tired in the least.

That night, they rolled out their beds together, and held hands as they slept.