title: hers and other hers
fandom: Firefly
characters/pairings: Kaylee/Simon, implied River/Simon, vaguely implied River/Kaylee
rating: Teen
warnings: incestual implications but i swear to god, Joss made it canon! *loves Joss SO DAMNED MUCH for making it canon*
summary: River watches.
notes: introspective-y, and sorta just... exploring.

She likes to watch. She likes it best of all when he's on top, and he usually is. She likes the way his muscles move like water river water like from the river behind their house but their house is a boat and the water is black, it doesn't move, but his muscles move, under skin, beautiful skin, and her fingers dig into the skin, she sees bloody trails following the fingers but his skin is still smooth, muscley. She likes his muscles.

She likes it when those hands push down his pants, and his ass is visible, also muscley, very pretty, she likes the way he moves, and she can feel what he feels, because she always feels him, even when he's far away, he's her Simon, and she imagines that he's moving into her, she can see it, feel his hands on her body, the way that she feels him, because she can feel what she feels while she feels what he feels, and she gets confused, because there are too many pronouns, little bits of words that stand in the place of other words, Chinese is more elegant, but there are other languages, too, and languages blur together here, because he has his hand on her breast, and she slips her dress off, and rolls onto her back, and puts her hand on her own breast, and he's hers, but she doesn't feel jealous, because her breast is small, unless the other hers, and the other her loves him, but not like she does, because she can bear to share him, knowing that he is still hers, but the other her couldn't. It's generous of her not to point out that he would prefer to be with her, but for problems of genetics. She's mapped their genomes, and done extensive studies to show that they don't have the sort of abnormalities or recessive genes that would be problematic, and she's left it for him to see, but she doesn't argue the point, because she knows his argument will be sociotheological anyway, and you can't argue with the black sky, because it's all around you.

She puts her fingers between her legs, and she's stretchier than the other her, so she can fit three fingers in, and while they gasp and moan down there, she gasps up here, and if she opens her eyes, she'll see him, those beautiful, icy eyes that only she understands, and that strong jaw, the smile he has that only belongs to her because he's hers, and she doesn't care that her breasts are small, because she's flexible and also she has him, so she doesn't need big breasts or an earthy smell liberally coated in machine oil, and she doesn't need fluffy hair though it is pretty, and she'd like to play with that hair, and the hair between her legs, she'd like to suck on her clit and tweak her nipples, the other her, because they're like sisters now, they share a brother, after all, so they should share everything.

Later when she sees him, he avoids her eyes, and River laughs, laughs so hard she nearly falls off his counter, because he's so cute and he always has been! He catches her, and she throws her arms around his neck, and she reminds him of the honeysuckle, but he doesn't understand, and that's probably because the honeysuckle was a memory of the other her, but they're the same now, in that they have the same brother, so it's all right.

She cries at night, and he comes to her bunk to comfort her. She clings to him, and begs him to never leave her, but she's ly~ing, ly~ing, putting on a show, curtain up and dance like whores, the lights are on the band is playing on! He likes her show, and he shows her by holding her close, and stroking her back, promising her suns and moons and stars and diamonds and flowers and kings and queens and little dancing cheeses. She likes his voice and she always has, his voice is steady and it makes her steady. She kisses him, and he freezes, but he doesn't pull away. In those icy eyes that only she can read, she sees whole volumes, written out in neat font, very orderly, easy to read, so easy to read. He wants her to stop, so she does, but she knows that he liked it.

She makes him sleep with her, and she slips out of her nightdress. He locks the door to her room, silly Simon, so afraid, sister Kaylee won't mind, because she'll never know, River will protect Simon, because she wants to see the water of his back again. She sleeps curled in his arms, and dreams of when sister Kaylee is on top, and he touches her breasts, and she replaces sister Kaylee with herself, and she's got his cock buried in her, just as it should be, because, really, sister Kaylee is really just the other her, so she's not really needed.

She smiles, though, at breakfast, and she laughs, and watches them, watches them all, because they need watching. She touches his hand as she reaches for the salt, and she doesn't use the salt, but she smiles at the other her, and touches her fluffy hair. She doesn't need to be jealous.

He's always hers.