title: Growing up 0
fandom: Loveless
characters/pairings: Youji/Natsuo, Nagisa-sensei, Ritsu-sensei
rating: G/teen
warnings: zero boys being difficult
summary: the rearing of zeroes is never easy
notes: none

Youji always, always sat with his back to the door, no matter how many times Nagisa-sensei chastised him for it. He was brushing his hair when Nagisa-sensei opened the door, and cleared her throat with particular flourish.

"You~ji~kun, I have the person here you've been waiting your whole life to meet!" She beamed, and pushed a redheaded person-thing in the room.

Youji looked over his shoulder at it for a moment. He couldn't even tell if it was a girl or a boy! "I've been waiting for that? I don't think so." He went back to brushing his hair. His hair was so pretty...

"Oooooh, he's cute!" Natsuo declared, and climbed up on Youji's bed, tugging at his hair. "Look how pretty!"

"Oy, oy! Get your grubby hands off of me!" Youji pulled his hair out from the thing's hands.

Natsuo giggled, and threw his arms around Youji's neck. "Let's play!"

"Get off!" Youji yelled, but that just made Natsuo giggle more.

Nagisa was getting a headache. The girls were not this much trouble, and these were supposed to be the better model!

Her heels clicked loudly on the polished wooden floors of the Institute. She hated, hated, hated tracking down wayward units! That horrible, horrible, no good Ritsu-sensei would probably just smirk and say 'Soubi-kun never went missing.' If he even looked up from his damned computer!

She was starting to make plans for a new batch of Zeroes.

She opened the door to Youji's quarters, since they were always together here now. She was about to start screaming at them, but the sight of her Fighter and Sacrifice, crawling all over each other naked, left her breathless for a second.

They were only nine!

"Wh-wh-wh-what the hell are you two doing?!" she screamed out, feeling rather restrained.

They looked up at her with matching looks of disdain.

"We're looking for our marks," Natsuo supplied, his bushy tail swishing back and forth between Youji's legs.

"Your marks are on your chests where you can plainly see them!" she cried out, pointing at them accusingly.

"Yeah, we know about those," Youji shrugged.

"We wanted to see if there were any others," Natsuo grinned, poking Youji's ass.

Youji leaned back and pointed at his crotch. "Mine's bigger!"

"Hey!" Natsuo pouted wrapping his tail around his waist. "By, like, a centimeter!"

"Aw, yours is cuter," Youji licked his lips and poked Natsuo in the balls.

Natsuo giggled, and hugged Youji.

"Ahhhhh! Stopit! Stop right now!" Nagisa stamped her foot on the ground until her heel was aching. "Put your clothes on and get to training room 3! You're late for a session!"

"Sheesh, what got in her panties?" Natsuo whispered, not at all quietly, to Youji as he helped Youji with his underwear.

"I dunno," Youji snickered. "She's probably menstrual or something."

Nagisa shut her eyes tightly, and screamed with her lips clamped tight until the two got in line before her. Giggling, and clinging to each other, but still...

"And, my Zeroes have just scored the highest marks ever for reflexes. Ever. Do you know what that means?"

Ritsu-sensei continued to type on his computer, ignoring her completely.

Nagisa growled. "Ritsu! Are you listening to me?!"

He continued to type.

She dropped her very thick report on how wonderful her Zeroes were on his fingers. "See?! Best. Scores. EVER. Which means they scored better than your Soubi-kun."

He looked down at the report as if it had legs and would walk away if he waited long enough. "I never made Soubi-kun take those tests."

"Wh-wh-wh-wha?! They're required!" she staggered back.

He smirked, and tossed the report aside with a flick of his wrists. "Soubi-kun was too advanced to test with those tools. So I made my own tests."

"Eh?" she stared at him in horror.

"Ah, Nagisa-sensei, thank god, here you are!" The head librarian burst into Ritsu's office, to Ritsu's disdain. "You need to come with me!"

"What's the matter?" Nagisa asked, scrambling to pick up her report and follow.

"Those boys of yours have crawled to the top of the shelves in the Rare books and are pelting people with spitballs!"

Nagisa groaned, mostly because Ritsu was chuckling to himself.

"The bunny is definitely cuter!"

"No, no, the bear is the cutest!"

"The bunny looks a little like you, so it's definitely cuter."

"But the bear is the same color as your hair, so it's definitely cuter."

"Here, you take the bunny, because it's cuter."

"And you take the bear, because it's cuter."

Natsuo threw his arms around Youji's neck, and laughed.

Nagisa's head was really going to explode if they didn't shut the hell up soon.

"Hey, Nagisa-sensei?"

She looked up to see Natsuo and Youji in a tightly, cuddly ball. "Yes?"

"How old do we have to be before we can lose our ears?" Natsuo smiled cheerfully.

She could feel an aneurysm forming under her temple. They were ELEVEN, for crying out loud!

"Oy, oy, I don't want to lose my ears yet!" Youji pouted. "I'll look all old when they are gone. Besides, your tail is so cute, I don't want it to be gone." He grabbed Natsuo's tail and grinned.

Natsuo giggled, and let his tail swish back and forth, still in Youji's hand. "Yeah, but you can keep my tail after we have sex. We can preserve them, right, Sensei? Do you still have your ears, Sensei?"

"Disembodied cat parts are so gross!" Youji declared, and flopped on his back.

Natsuo flopped on top of him. "What are you talking about? They're cute! And anyway, everyone loses their ears eventually. Unless you are a total loser."

"Yeah," Youji snickered. "I'd hate to be, like, fifteen and still have them."

"No way I'm letting you get to fifteen," Natsuo laughed, and leaned up to nibble on Youji's cat ear.

"That's it," she pounded her hands on the desk. "Out! Get out! I don't care where you go, just don't make me have to come and get you out of trouble later! Out!"

They scrambled up, grabbing their teddy and bunny. "Man, what'd we do?" Youji whined.

Natsuo shrugged. "She's probably uptight 'cause she keeps throwing herself at Ritsu-sensei, and he only ever thinks about Soubi."

Youji sniggered. "Oh, man, if she gave him her ears, he totally would have thrown them out!"

Natsuo leaned into Youji and laughed. "He's probably built a shrine to Soubi's ears!"

"Ew, how sick, a Fighter and a Sensei!" Youji stuck out his tongue, and put his arm around Natsuo's waist. "I'd never let that old hag have you."

"OUT!" she stormed, and threw her favorite stuffed pony at them.

The scampered away, still laughing.

She put her head down in her hands. She should have been like Seven, and stuck to computers.

Raising kids was way too much work!

a couple of post-fic explanatory assumptions:
1. since youji and natsuo are younger than yamato and kouya, i'm guessing they (the boys) are a newer model than the girls. could be wrong.
2. since all zeroes are, well, zeroes, and nagisa was saying she could replace yamato, i'm guessing that all their names are in the same place. again, could be wrong... *shrugs*