title: excursion
fandom: Free!
characters/pairings: Makoto/Haru/Rin
rating: G
warnings: dialogue only, animal prints
summary: It's time to upgrade.
notes: for the Happy Household Club.

Ok, are we ready to go? Haru? ...Haru, the trains don't actually wait for us to get there...

I can't go. I'm... sick. See? Ageck, ageck!


What the hell are you talking about? You're fine! Let's go!

No, I should stay here. You two go. Just get me one like you're getting, but maybe in a different color or something.

Haru, it doesn't work like that. We need to look at the phones, we need your old phone so they can transfer everything, you have to agree to the contract...

Here's my phone.

For fuck's sake, Haru, man up!

I'm sick. Ageck, ageck!

I don't even know what the hell kind of sound you're trying to make. That's the lamest fake cough ever. If one of my students tried that on me, I'd make him take the test standing in front of the class.

C'mon, Haru, let's not make a big deal out of this. We're due an upgrade, there's a new contract pack that's going to save us a lot of money, and it's the first time we've had a free day at the same time in ages.

We're just going to pick up phones! This is fun!

No, it's not fun! It's awful! I hate shopping with you!

Wha... what?

No, I don't mean it like...

Fuck, Haru, way to overreact!

No! I mean... I don't hate shopping with you... you're pushy and you decide everything on your own and that's annoying, but I'm used to it. And I don't hate shopping with you... even though you make me try everything on and you always try to get me to wear weird shit and that's annoying. I hate shopping with you both. It's a nightmare! It's not going to just be phones! Then, it'll be accessories for the phones. Then you'll see something in a window. And if you two weren't together, you'd just walk by, but... you would say, Man, that would look good on me! and then you would say, What harm is there in trying it on? and the next thing I know is that it's three hours later and I'm being made to try on vests or something!


Y-you two just go together. Take my phone. If it bothers you that you can't get a hold of me, I'll go to your parents' house. Just don't make me go with you.


I-It's a new phone! Everyone loves getting a new phone!

Not me.



No, it's fine. We'll take care of it. You don't... have to go to my parents' house, but I don't know what else you'll do today.

Thanks. Your train.

So spoiled.

All right. Let's go. See you later, then... Haru.


I like the way this one feels. I like this one, too, though... can we take pictures? Can I see how the camera works?

I'm pretty sure I want this one. Mm, but this one is good, too...

How do you think this one will work for running? I don't know, maybe this one is less bulky.

That one is definitely less bulky.

Are these all on the same sale? What about those?

Those are more expensive.

Ahhh. ...We should still look at them, though. I mean, I know we have to be smart money-wise, but this is an investment we have to live with for probably at least a couple of years.

That's a good point.

Did you see how expensive the cases are, though? That really adds to the cost of the phone...

Mm, there's that kiosk in the shopping district. They have all kinds of cases for a lot less. I think I saw a leopard print one that would work for that phone.

Oho? So you've finally embraced the bold, stylishness of animal prints? I'm so proud!

More like... I've accepted that the admittedly bold style of animal prints is going to be a part of my life forever now.

Aww. I'm so touched. We should find a bathroom so you can be touched, too.


Yeah, yeah. I'm guessing we can find some kind of fish case for Haru. We should just get him a plain black one, though. Little baby, refusing to shop with us.

We'll get him a nice one. Oh, let's ask about waterproof cases, though. Remember last year when he dropped his phone in the tank?

That kid needs so much help...

So, what are these again?

You put them in the earphone jack when you're not using it to keep the dust out.

Does dust really get in there?

...Oh! This one looks just like the kitty who used to live near my parents' house! Aw, I used to love to pet her every day. I'm getting this one!

Well, if you're getting one, I'll get one.

Here's a tigery kitty.

That fits. We should get one for crybaby Haru, too.

Rin. What about this black one?

He looks like he's giving you the evil eye. ...Yeah, that's good for Haru. I need new earbuds, too. The ones they give you with the phone are shit and the cord on mine is wearing out.

Yeah, they have those, too.

Do they have black ones?

I really don't need new glasses.

They look good on you, though.

I probably should get my eyes checked. But these feel pretty good.

They bring out the green in your eyes.

I really don't need new glasses...

And I don't need a new bracelet, but it's forty percent off.

That's true, that's a good sale.

They look good on you.

Ok, I'm getting them.

Great, because I'm getting this bracelet.

Should we get Haru something?

Do you think he'd wear anything from here?

...You're right, he won't.

You have the bag from the leather shop, right?

Yeah, I put it in the bag with the shoes.

Ok, good.

I haven't left anything behind, dad.

Well, you know, mom, you can be pretty forgetful...

Oh, right. I'm forgetful. I must really be forgetful, because I even forgot that I'm forgetful.

That's why I'm here to take care of you.

Oh, man...

Did you forget something?

No! Look at the time!

So? Are we missing something?

We spent two and a half hours getting the new phones. We got new cases and accessories. We went to four other stores.


Haru was right. Shopping with us must be a nightmare.

...Well, I like shopping with you.

I like shopping with you!

M-moron... how do you say such embarrassing things?

Y-you said the same thing!

A-anyway... ...I guess I can see how Haru wouldn't like it, but. It's probably not just that, right?


Has he talked to his father? Do you know?

I tried to ask him the day before yesterday. He only said that his father was busy and that he was going to meet him in Osaka next weekend.


I know.

How do you think that's going to go?

I don't know. ...I don't really know Haru's dad all that well. He was always working. And, apparently, starting a second family.

What an ass.

I agree, but that doesn't really change anything.

Does his dad know... you know?

I don't know. I mean, I don't think Haru ever told his mom. She just... knew.

Plus, she surprised him with that visit when we were in college and found us all piled in bed together.

Yeah, that was awful.

How many more years before we can look back on that and laugh?

Oh, god, I was actually well on my way to forgetting it.

I'm pretty sure she saw your bare ass.

Oh, my god...

I'm really sure she considers that a very pleasant memory.

Rin, shut up.

So, how will his dad be, you think?

...I have no idea. I guess it all depends on... how he feels about the divorce...

He can't really object, can he? He was cheating, too.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean he'll be rational about it. What if he's angry because she's already getting remarried?

He's an ass.

Again, I agree, but again...

Doesn't change anything.


Hell. I guess he's not such a crybaby for not going shopping.

Maybe we should make one more stop before going home.

We're going to make our compulsive shopping habits better with more shopping? I'm intrigued.

I was thinking... a stop at the fishmonger.


Some fresh mackerel would go a long way to making Haru's day better.

Ooookay. I think I can handle mackerel for dinner.

So generous.

I am.

I kinda wanna kiss you.

I kinda wanna be kissed.

What d'you think? Those two in the corner have been making out for five minutes now...

Teenagers are gross. ...Let me show off how generous I am. Let's wait until we get home and Haru can join us.

Ooh, that really is generous.

I know. I'm very impressed with myself. Moreso than normal.

As you should be. I'm a little turned on here.

Only a little?

Well, we're not teenagers anymore...

We should have had more sex when we were younger.

I don't think we're that old, yet. Plus, all things considered, I think we did have quite a bit of sex as teens!

We could have had more, though. We could have... done more.

I'm so inspired. I hope Haru has been resting up. I have a feeling it's going to be one of those kinds of nights.

Yes. I will make you both my bitches. Again.

Ok, Rin, you might be getting a bit too impressed with yourself now...

Impossible. How could that ever happen?

Oh, it could happen...

Why do you only ever say stuff like that to me? Everyone else, you're Mr. Sunshine and Perfect Smiles, and with me, you're Mr. Sly?

That's because you're special. Rin.

...Well, shit. Say something like that again, and I really will kiss you right here on the train.

Damn. I better be careful.

Keep smiling like that and I might end up punching you.

So strict!!

Where are the buttons?

The only flip phone they had was last generation. Here, you just have to push this...

This is complicated.

Nanase Haruka, everyone. College graduate, marine biologist. Stymied by smartphones in this day and age.

I don't know how to use this.

We'll learn together, Haru. Look what else we got?

What? ...! Mackerel! Really meaty, too... nice one...

He threw away his brand new phone to ogle a fish.

Rin. Did you have a good day, Haru?

...It was boring.

We missed you.

No, we didn't.

Yes, we did.

I didn't miss you.

Yes, he did.

I'm going to grill this... use a bit of salt... we still have sweet peppers, can add that to the miso soup...

And he's not paying attention to us. ...Hey! What did you take a picture for?

First picture with my new phone. Rin, Haru... and mackerel.

Send me that picture.

You two are so weird.

You love us.