title: cute teeth
fandom: Free!
characters/pairings: Makoto/Rin (implied), Makoto/Haru (implied), Nagisa, Rei, Gou, Ama-chan-sensei
rating: G/Teen
warnings: discussion of oral sex, tooth fetish, slightly inappropriate teacher
summary: Nagisa and Gou are having an argument over who wins.
notes: for Makoto's birthday! ...even though i'm just tormenting him. also, i seem to be the one with the shark tooth fetish, oh dear... some slight references to the drama cds, but nothing critical.

The first years were gathered together, having a heated discussion. Having just finished his last rep of laps, Makoto went over, wondering what could be distracting their manager from timing them.

"No, no, you're totally underestimating the weight of history, here!" Nagisa emphatically told Gou.

"You're the one underestimating things! Attraction is a huge factor!" Gou shot back.

Rei was furiously writing in a notebook.

"What's going on?" Makoto asked genially, trying not to disturb them in case they were doing schoolwork or something.

Three sets of eyes were suddenly trained on him. Nagisa surged forward. "Mako-chan! Tell them! Tell them both!"

"Eh?" Makoto tried to back off, but Nagisa had him by the towel around his shoulders.

"Who would you date, Rin or Haru-chan?" Nagisa asked.

"This again?" Makoto sighed. "I thought we'd been through all this already?" And it hadn't gone all that well the first time. Haru had tossed him aside for mackerel.

"You didn't answer the question then, either!" Nagisa thew his hands up in despair. "And this time, I'm not asking about the whole swim club. You have two choices! Rin, who until recently has been a huge jerk..."

"Hey!" Gou objected, but Nagisa ignored her.

"Or Haru, your best friend since always?" he leaned in, narrowing his eyes.

Clearly, there was a right answer.

"S-so, I have only two options? Of all the people in the world to date... Rin... or Haru?" Makoto tried to laugh it off. It seemed they were all taking this too seriously. Apparently assuming he wouldn't answer, Rei had gone back to writing on his notebook.

"Of course! C'mon, pick. Who is your lover?" Nagisa pressed.

"L-lover, now? I thought you said date..." Makoto swallowed. This had suddenly turned very uncomfortable. It was one thing to talk about a date, but if he had to imagine himself as a lover to either Rin or Haru...

Well, if he was imagining, maybe even both...

Gou jumped to her feet. "Keep in mind! My brother has a sweet side and he tells funny jokes, when he's in the mood, and he's actually really caring even though he doesn't want anyone to know!"

"Well, Haru-chan is always smiling inside! And he's super sweet and loving and he's kind to all living things!" Nagisa protested.

"Cold, you mean, cold to all living things, and I have it on good authority that my brother is caring for stray cats on Samezuka's campus! See, you have cat things in common!" Gou declared.

"Good authority?" Nagisa raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, his roomie," Gou proudly crossed her arms over her chest.

"That shortie," Nagisa scoffed. "He's not cuter than me!"

"N-no one said he was..." Makoto tried to laugh.

Both Nagisa and Gou leaned in closer to him. "Well?!" the demanded.

"All right, my calculations are complete!" Rei happily announced. This, at least, distracted Nagisa and Gou for a moment. "Factoring in the length of Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai's relationship was difficult, because sometimes friendship is hard to convert into romance, but with all other variables accounted for, Rin-senpai has an edge by a factor of about 1.04." He frowned at his work, making sure it was exact.

"Ah-HA!" Gou declared, shoving her finger in the direction of Nagisa's face.

He just pushed it away. "What do you mean, Rei-chan?! Anyway, that's not a huge factor! That's basically saying they're the same! And did you check your work? You have to check your work!"

"The deciding element is the sexual relationship. Based on his whole-body exercises and the fact that he's more of an all-arounder type, with his greater endurance and more flexible abdominal muscles, Rin-senpai would seem, on paper, to be the more proficient lover. By a factor of nearly 3.04," Rei sounded impressed.

Makoto paled.

"What?!" Nagisa exclaimed.

"That's really impressive, Rei-kun! Wait, let me see your work there, you factored in abdominal muscles?" Gou knelt down to take a look at Rei's scribblings.

"You're wrong!" Nagisa wailed. "You're wrong and your calculations are wrong! First of all, Haru-chan is super flexible, and I refuse to accept that Rin-Rin is better in that way! And second of all, you completely neglected to factor in oral sex! C'mon, with those razor-sharp shark teeth, Rin couldn't possibly give good head!"

"N-Nagisa!" Makoto jumped.

Gou turned ashen. "Eh! Th-that's not f-fair, Nagisa-kun! S-so what if oniichan's teeth are a l-little... odd... It's not like I kn-know anything about it, but any kind of teeth action during oral is bad! So oniichan just has to cover 'em with his lips, like this," she demonstrated. And then she looked around guiltily. "S-so I heard!"

"Gou-chan, that was... impressive..." Rei seemed somewhere between impressed and terrified of the implications.

"So what? Even if he's super careful, there's always the chance that he could graze his teeth on your cock, or balls, and then what? Huh, Mako-chan? I'm right, right, Mako-chan?" Nagisa pestered. "Just think about Rin's teeth on your cock! Think about it right now!"

"N-N-N-Nagisa!" Makoto wailed. But, it was too late. He thought about it. He could see it, in too-precise detail.

His whole body flushed.

"Eh, Mako-chan, are you... getting a boner thinking about Rin-Rin's teeth?" Nagisa asked, staring at Makoto's crotch.

"Really?!" Gou and Rei both jumped up.

"NAGISA!" Makoto hunched over, turning his body. It wasn't his fault! Nagisa told him to think about it!

"Mako-chan, that's so perverse! You have a thing for shark teeth?" Nagisa pouted. "That's really unsafe. Little Mako-chan is going to get hurt! ...And little Mako-chan is kinda huge, so there's absolutely no way Rin-Rin could..."

"NAGISA!" Makoto cried. He tried to hunch and turn even more, but it was hard to hide his body when he was just wearing a swim suit.

"It gets bigger," Haruka, who had materialized on Makoto's other side, casually observed.

"HARU!" Makoto whined.

"AH-HA PROOF!" Nagisa happily declared, striking a pose. He pointed victoriously at Gou and Rei. "PROOF! HARU-CHAN HAS SEEN IT HARD, THEREFORE HARU-CHAN WINS!"

"Ooh, that's interesting," Rei said, blushing.

Gou bit her lip, craning her neck and standing on tip-toe. "I wanna see..."

"But," Rei mused, "it's still true that Makoto-senpai has a perverse fascination with Rin-senpai's teeth..."

Gou snapped out of her haze, and beamed. "I'm going to let oniichan know!"

"What!? No! Gou-chan!" Makoto pled. Gou had already set off happily to get her cell, and Makoto still wasn't quite in a position to chase her, despite the embarrassment of it all.

"Tooth fetish doesn't mean anything!" Nagisa wailed. "Haru-chan can just wear those fake vampire teeth during oral or something to satisfy Mako-chan's sick desires."

"Hey!" Makoto complained.

"Can't you, Haru-chan?" Nagisa looked proudly at Haru.

"No, I won't, those are gross, I'd gag," Haru replied flatly.

"Haru-chan! You've got to fight to keep your lover! Rin-Rin is going to steal him away with his weird teeth!" Nagisa tried to convince Haru.

"Too much bother," Haru sighed, looking to his right.

"Haruuuuuu!" Nagisa whined, flinging himself at Haru.

"Guys," Makoto hung his head, his shoulders shaking.

"Ooh, I already got a reply from oniichan!" Gou laughed, showing Rei her phone. "It's all just weird symbols. I guess oniichan could't form coherent thought after getting the good news."

"Gou-chan!" Makoto cried.

"Oh, here's a new reply. It's all in yelling font," she laughed. "HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW THAT!"

Off in the distance, Makoto's cell phone buzzed.

"Let me just explain to him..." Gou started to type furiously.

"Stop, stop!" Makoto whimpered.

"Haru-chan, fight for your lover!" Nagisa shook Haru.

"No, it's troublesome," Haru sighed.

"Another quick reply! Hee, look," she showed Rei, "he says, STOP TALKING ABOUT WEIRD SHIT WITH MAKOTO, ahahaha, he's all embarrassed, he must be happy!"

Rei smiled in seeming agreement.

"Mako-chaaaaaan!" Nagisa wailed. "Tell them you pick Haru, even if his teeth can't satisfy your sick needs!"

"Can't we go back to swimming?" Makoto sighed, exhausted.

Amakata Miho straightened the brim on her hat, and then sipped her lemonade. Today was one of the best days she'd had since agreeing to be the swim club's supervisor.

Since she'd been little, she'd wanted to be a writer. However, she constantly ran into the ceiling imposed by her talents. She'd tried to use modeling as a way to make money until she could get published, but too many rejections later, and she'd become a teacher. Somehow, she'd gotten roped into working with an athletic club, too.

But it was all going to pay off.

If she could settle for never being a Akutagawa prize winner, all she had to do was decide on a niche genre she could excel in, and her experiences with the swim club gave her confidence that she could write a light BL novel that would sell. So far in her notes, the protagonist was a devilish cute-type character with a golden aura who calculatingly seduced the star of the track team onto the swim team and into his bed. She'd been troubled, though, about how to pair the tall and amenable captain and the cool and sexy vice captain.

She picked up her notebook and jotted down an outline.

The captain and vice captain would have a slow-burning friendship-come-romance, but the captain would be seduced by the evil star of the rival team, and his sharp, inhuman teeth. She made a note to research how much bloodplay she could put into a light novel, because she suspected that would be super hot, especially given how little the boys wore to swim. Yes, marks all over the captain's body and especially his neck would alert the vice captain that his lover had betrayed him, sending the vice captain into the arms of... of...

Well, how about an older character, she reasoned? She hadn't yet fully decided whether to insert herself as the supervisor, or use a male teacher. But, she was going to keep Gou, because that girl was adorable, and could help her evil older brother seduce the captain. Yes, that was perfect, so making the supervisor a male teacher who would comfort the vice captain... into the night... yes, yes.

She smiled to herself, taking another sip of her lemonade. She had to bide her time, of course, and wait until the boys had all graduated. She didn't want to take any chance that they would connect her with her BL writer nom de plume... which she hadn't picked yet, but there was time, since Nagisa-kun and Rei-kun were still first years.

She would wait. But this was definitely a money-maker. With the new subplots for the captain and vice captain, she could easily stretch it out to four or five volumes. Maybe there would even be an anime! She was sure it would be popular with a wide range of women! Maybe even some men, if she added a bit more actual swimming!

That little shit Nagisa had gotten her unwillingly to sit beside the pool, but this was all going to work out for her and her dreams. She was getting published. It was just a matter of time now.

Just like Rei's inevitable loss of virginity and Makoto's loss of blood were also just a matter of time, silly boys.