title: Words
fandom: Gravitation
characters/pairings: Yuki/Shuichi
rating: Teen
warnings: sex
summary: Yuki has a touch of writer's block.
notes: for Alex - 1205 words

It was there, on the tip of his tongue. He knew what he wanted to say, he knew, but he just couldn't remember. There was something missing, he knew it.

Yuki shut down his computer in disgust. He was always well ahead of his deadlines. Writing a romance novel was like filling out a form, and if he threw in just a curve here or a twist there, he could trick people into thinking he was genius.

He wanted to slam his laptop shut, but the damn thing was too fragile to vent his frustrations out on; he would need to find something else.

He ripped open the refrigerator door, and grabbed the first can of beer he saw. It was pathetic to be stuck on something like this. He just needed to get his lovers together again, but he couldn't grasp the motivations that would drive the wronged Mercury back into the arms of his Aimee. It was just a stupid romance!

Yuki downed the can, and crushed it with a minor sense of relief. He always thought about this stage of his writing as being the learning/profit-making stage. He could get rich now while mastering the mechanics of writing, and then years later, he could produce something worthwhile.

How could he ever elevate himself from the ranks of the pop romance circuit when he couldn't even come up with a proper metaphor for being dejected?

He grabbed another beer out of the fridge, and started to pull out some rice and vegetables. He would cook something light, perhaps eat on the patio, and then he could get back to work, feeling refreshed.

As always, when it was quiet in the house, he forgot that he didn't live alone anymore.

"La hi ho~oh!!!" The front door slammed open, and Shuichi galloped in as per he usual style.

Yuki finished his beer, and pretended to be deaf.

Shuichi bounced around the kitchen, singing and laughing. "Yuki! Yuki! Yuki! I had the best day, I really did, yes I did! We got two songs recorded, TWO! And Fujisaki and I actually collaborated together on a song that maybe we're gonna work on next week possibly! I mean, he's a little more educated and stuff about music and arrangements, but I have all the heart and soul. It's gonna be really really awesome, Yuki!"

Yuki stirred the snow peas into the oil sizzling in the wok, and counted silently to 150.

Shuichi threw his arms around Yuki's back, and hummed against Yuki's spine. "I'm so hap-hap-hap-hap-happy!! I have the best band in the world, and the best friend in the world, and the very best lover in the whole wide world!!"

Yuki disentangled himself from Shuichi's grip, and unnecessarily checked on the rice maker.

Shuichi sighed, oblivious. "How was your day, Yuki? Did you finish the book today? I bet you did, I bet you wrote fifty pages!"

Yuki didn't mean to growl, because he knew that Shuichi was just feeling exuberant, but it did sting.

He didn't notice it at first, because he was stirring his vegetables so furiously, but eventually, he did realized that the room was quiet now.

Looking at Shuichi over his shoulder, Yuki felt a stab of guilt. Shuichi looked utterly crestfallen.

Shuichi blushed when he saw Yuki looking at him, and he seemed to shrink under his lover's attention. "I'm... I'm sorry, Yuki. I know how annoying I can be when you are trying to work. I... I didn't mean to bother you. You know what, Hiro was talking about maybe going out for some karaoke later. Why don't I go over and have dinner with him, and get out of your way tonight?"

Shuichi smiled bravely, and tried to slip out of the kitchen as quietly as he could. Yuki cursed himself, taking the wok off the burner.

Ever since he had met Shuichi, the young man had been willing to sacrifice all of his dignity, happiness, and self-esteem. And the only thing he ever wanted in return was to be able to just be with Yuki.

And now, Yuki was taking even that away from him, just by his chilly demeanor.


Shuichi stopped, and looked at Yuki, confused. He barely had a chance to squeak before Yuki had him pinned against the wall, and was trying to consume him orally. Shuichi's legs flailed as he tried to get his bearings. He wrapped his arms around Yuki's neck, and his legs around Yuki's waist, and just rode the physical high as Yuki carried him off to bed.

Shuichi was now flat on his back. Yuki was all over him, Yuki's hands tearing at his clothes, and Yuki's mouth feasting on his flesh. Shuichi moaned and groaned, begging Yuki to stop, simply because he still didn't know what was going on; he clawed at Yuki, betraying his own lie.

Yuki paused when he had Shuichi naked. His lover was so small, so waifish. So innocent. Yuki wanted to wash himself in his lover's tears, and clean his own filthy soul. He pressed his face against Shuichi's slim neck, breathing deeply. Shuichi shuddered underneath him, and Yuki needed.

It was the same rhythm. The same repetitive motions, the same basic mechanics. But there was nothing in his universe that was like being inside of Shuichi. He would never find the words to say how precious those fleeting moments were.

The smile gracing Shuichi's face was bordering on giddy, but he was in that lull right afterward in which he was blessedly still. Yuki placed reverent kisses on Shuichi's chest, and cradled his lover in his arms.

He woke up to the sound of Shuichi singing in the bathroom. He was singing that damn song that Tohma had made him write; Shuichi only sang that when he was very happy.

Yuki stayed in bed, brushing his leg over the stiff stain on the sheets. He stayed while Shuichi got dressed, and watched his lover dance around the room. He watched with no expression, although he knew that the image of Shuichi hopping around in his boxers would linger with him throughout the day. Shuichi blew him a kiss before going to the kitchen to get breakfast. Yuki stretched out on his back, staring at the ceiling, his mind blank. He could hear Shuichi in the kitchen, but the sounds were too muffled.

Shuichi slipped back into the bedroom carrying a tray. He put it down on the bedside table next to Yuki, and put one knee on the bed. He leaned over Yuki, grinning.

"Have a good day, Yuki."

Yuki reached up, and touched Shuichi's cheek, marveling at the way that Shuichi leaned into the touch, like a cat.

Shuichi seemed loath to move for a moment; his grin faltered.

"Yuki... Thank you. My... my day is always better when you touch me." He leaned down quickly and kissed Yuki on the cheek, before dashing off faster than a jackrabbit.

Yuki didn't get a chance to respond, nor did he have much faith that he would ever get around to saying what should be said, but he did have great confidence that he would have no trouble finishing his book today.