title: untitled
fandom: X-Files/Tomb Raider crossover
characters/pairings: Scully/Lara Croft, Mulder
rating: Teen/Mature
warnings: none
summary: Scully finds out how hot the jungle can get.
notes: this was written for my bestest best friend, for her birthday. cuddles

Dana Scully leaned against the wall of the tomb, dreaming of new and better ways to flail and torture Mulder. A quick and painless death was too fucking good for him. He had to suffer, long and hard, for years, if possible.

She checked the bandage on her arm again. It would hold, although for how much longer she had no idea. Just like she had no idea where she was, or how she was going to get back, or how she was going to find anything to eat, or how she was going to get the evidence that the ancient gods of the forest were aliens and their leftovers, whatever the hell Mulder thought they were, were responsible for the virus that Dr. Shankton had brought back to D.C. from this god-forsaken jungle.

Sighing, she pushed off the wall, having come up with at least three new and fun ways to pull Mulder's skin off. She tried desperately not to think about the fact that Mulder was in the hotel in Sao Paolo, with that Dr. Vicki bitch, talking about ancient legends. Fever my ass, she thought, as she tried to find her flashlight. Remembering that the natives Mulder had found to lead her here had stolen her flashlight, she swore under her breath, adding another few decades to his sentence.

Trekking through the catacombs under the temple would not be easy without light. But then, following the river for the last three miles before she got here hadn't been easy either. The natives Mulder had assured her would take her right to the temple, and to the catacombs beneath, no problem!, had left her on a raft with no supplies and no way to contact anyone. Somehow, by some miracle, she had gotten to the temple. So now, it was only a matter of finding the remains of Tzecheuma the Mighty, finding the original of the talisman that they found on Dr. Shankton's remains, and getting back to Sao Paolo.

No problem.

Well, except she had no supplies, no way to contact help, the raft was gone, and besides, the city was upstream. And, she had no flashlight and the catacombs were all beneath the temple.

No problem, she told herself, and plunged forward.

Determined to learn to see in the dark, if necessary, Scully continued forward.

Just when she had gotten to the point where she was moving forward by holding onto the wall, she began to see a bluish light ahead of her. There was also a noise, some kind of scuffling or something ahead of her, which Scully could only assume meant that it was storming above again. She had gotten used to it storming above a lot since she had come to this god-forsaken forest. Trying to remember what kind of lichen or fungus might let off a phosphorescent glow, she moved towards the light as quickly as she could.

As she got closer, the floor started to slope down, and the wall became less solid, as the rock gave way to impacted dirt. Finally, as she reached the lowest chamber of the catacombs, the entire area was bathed in the blue light, which she could now see emanated from the glowing eyes of an stone idol, which was currently trying to choke a tallish dark-haired woman. That's when Scully was tripped by a pygmy stone idol with bone teeth and glaring blue eyes.

Sighing and again giving into fantasies about disemboweling Mulder, Scully rolled and kicked out, smashing the little pygmy's head. Pushing herself up, she noticed that the whole chamber was full of pygmies, and that they were all starting to focus on her. Also, in her peripheral vision, she noticed that the dark-haired woman was now shooting at the idol, and that it was apparently and effective way of dealing with it.

Rolling her eyes and wondering how in the hell she got herself into these things, she pulled out the small gun she had concealed in her boot, and started shooting the advancing pygmies. Scully had backed herself into a corner, making all of her tiny opponents come at her from one direction, which made it easy to shoot them. Once she ran out of ammo, she picked up a scepter, which was part of the scattered debris Scully was only just beginning to notice. Smashing the little stone warriors one by one, she watched as the dark-haired woman unloaded a whole clip into the idol, and then used some sort of automatic reloader to restock, and started to shoot again. Scully could also see now that she had two guns. Lucky bitch, Scully thought, in the movies the FBI guys always have the coolest toys. I've never gotten an automatic reloader.

Feeling slightly bitter, she finished off the last of the pygmies. It was now a lot darker in the chamber, as the blue light from their eyes was gone. Sticking close to the side of the wall, Scully did not want to interrupt the dark-haired woman and the idol, as she could only see herself getting in the way of the obviously competent and well-armed woman.

She moved along until she came to the opening of the tomb, where the idol had clearly once sat. There were a lot of glyphs on the wall, which Scully could neither read nor identify. There were also a series of holes and grooves that looked like they might be for a key, especially since there was already a large keyish-looking metal object jutting out of one of them, and a relief of the dead king next to the series of holes that was clearly part of a door.

Looking over the series of holes and the key, Scully decided that the dark-haired woman had not put the key into the correct hole. She surmised this based on the fact that a) the door was not open, and b) the idol was trying to kill the woman. Clearly, something had gone wrong. Ignoring the fact that stone idols are not usually as successful as this one was at trying to kill people, Scully examined the holes to see which one might be the correct one. After some deliberation and a lot of guessing, Scully pulled the key, which turned out to be the top of a scepter, and stuck it in a smallish hole towards the bottom. She then tried to turn it, failed, and then pulled it out and shoved it in really really hard. The whole chamber shuddered, the door shook until it crumbled, and pure white light burst out of the tomb. Apparently, the light smashed the idol, because the dark-haired woman was now standing in pile of dust and debris.

"Good job!" Scully found herself in the center of the dark-haired woman's attention, affording her the opportunity to really look at her. She was taller than Scully, with two sweaty strands of hair falling down one side of her face, and one sweaty strand down the other. Her long, long hair was pulled back into a tight braid. Her body was lean, so lean that Scully had trouble believing she had withstood the idol for so long. She had gun holsters attached to her legs, and her athletic outfit really showed off her form well.

Plus, she was really stacked. God, she was stacked.

Suddenly, the whole chamber began to shake. Scully and the dark-haired woman braced themselves. It wasn't letting up; in fact, the ceiling was caving in.


Before Scully could wonder at the woman's choice of cuss words, or her accent, she found herself being propelled by the lean woman into the tomb, as the entire temple came down on their heads.

Or, more specifically, the entire temple came down on the stone buttresses that held up the dome of the tomb Scully and the dark-haired woman were now lying down in. On top of each other. The dark-haired woman on top of Scully.

"Maybe that wasn't the right one either." Scully had long since given up trying to understand, and settled now for just experiencing. She wouldn't have thought she would have enjoyed experiencing having a woman stretching out comfortably on top of her, but this was an extraordinary circumstance. And god, was she stacked.

"Perhaps not." Scully liked her slightly sarcastic, devil-may-care smile, and her teasing tone of voice. "Lara Croft, by the way."

"Dana Scully."

"You a tomb raider, too?"

Scully looked up, surprised. "Tomb raider? You mean, grave robber?"

"God no! Well, yes, actually."

"Er, no, I'm with the FBI."

Lara arched one eyebrow, as she rolled halfway off of Scully. "Oh? I'm a photojournalist."

"But you just said... So, what are you doing here?"

"Trying to get the shield of Tzecheuma. It is supposed to have great power, which a rival of mine has been paid to acquire. But I got here first. And, I should have brushed up on my ancient Mesopotamian languages first, apparently. Those glyphs looked completely alien to me!"

Scully grunted a half-laugh. "They probably were. Maybe. Probably not. Anyway, shouldn't you have a camera?"

Lara smiled again, which Scully decided she liked. Especially in the yellowish light of the flash-stick Lara had hanging from her belt. It was warm and caustic at the same time. Very comforting. "Why?"

"Well, you are a photojournalist..."

"Oh! Well, I don't want to carry all that equipment around, in this climate and such. Expensive stuff."

Scully didn't even bother to respond. "Good thing you have those guns. I didn't think that guns were legal in Britain."

"A bit out of your jurisdiction, aren't you Agent Scully?" Lara's smile was positively infectious.

Smiling back, Scully dithered. "Sorry, force of habit. So this looks like a nice place to die..."

Lara laughed outright. "Well, if you want to, I guess. It wasn't my plan." And with that, she whipped out a satellite phone. In less time than Scully would have believed, she started talking.

"Bryce! Bryce, what the hell are you doing! ... Ugh, I don't want to know. Look, I'm buried under 100 tons of rubble here. ... Yes, Bryce, that is just an estimate, I haven't weighed it. ... Look, it isn't important, is it? Just deal with it. ... Yes, Bryce, I think that would be a very good idea. Thank you. ...Tell Hillary hello from me. ... No, that isn't necessary. Good bye, Bryce." Pushing the button to disconnect, she muttered under her breath, "Bloody wanker..."

Scully was impressed and jealous. "Wow, quite and impressive arsenal you've got there."

Lara winked at her. "You don't know that half of it."

"But, how will he find us?"

Lara pulled another piece of equipment out of her pack. "My GPS is online. No worries, he'll be here within a day or so. Meanwhile..."

Scully shivered, the tone of Lara's voice when she said 'meanwhile' startling her. And when Lara pulled rations out of her pack, Scully was strangely disappointed. Trying to regain her equilibrium, she tried to start a conversation. "So, this Bryce is going to help?"

Smiling confidently. "Absolutely! Hillary will organize everything, and Bryce will come down so that he can complain that I'm not paying him enough."

"And Bryce is...?"

"A wanker."

"Ah. And Hillary, she's...?"

"He's my manservant."

"Oh." Scully pulled off a chew of the freeze-dried ration of god knows what, and tried to pretend that she was in D.C. asleep and having a really bad and weird dream.

Lara grinned. "Bryce actually is quite clever. He builds things for me, like this reloader you've got your eye on. Quite handy, on occasion."

"Ah. So, he works for you, and you are a photojournalist with a manservant..."

Lara laughed a clean laugh. "Well, actually, I pay Bryce for his services, but I think he works for Hillary more." Taking pity on Agent Scully's confusion, she elaborated. "My father was made a Lord for his work in archeology, hence I am actually Lady Croft, hence the manservant, Hillary. Bryce just showed up one day. One morning, I wake up, and there he is, his hideous RV parked on my bloody front lawn. And he's just there. And it took me a few weeks to figure out what he was doing there, since Hillary seemed as put off by his presence as I was. Then, I started to realize that Hillary would go out to 'visit' Bryce in his hideous RV. And Bryce would 'visit' Hillary in his perfectly appointed room. And then I realized."

Scully gave her this utterly blank look. Lara rolled her eyes. Scully got it, and blushed furiously.

"So! Ever since then, Bryce has lived in my bloody front lawn, he builds me stuff, and Hillary and he act as if they are quite put off having to put up with one another. Actually, they are really quite adorable. They have a sweet sort of chemistry to them."

"Ah." Scully finished her ration, grateful for the food and for the fact that she didn't have to eat it anymore. She was totally at a loss.

"So, are you here for the shield as well?" Those soft brown eyes were on Scully.

Squirming a little, she responded with less than perfect aplomb. "I'm looking for the talisman. Er, it's part of evidence for a case."

One eyebrow arched, regally. Lady Lara Croft, indeed... "A case about what?"

"Aliens." Scully blushed, realizing how stupid that sounded.

"Ah. I've heard rumors about the dead king, and his origins. Those stone idols certainly were a bit off the ordinary. It would make me feel better about my languages skills to know that those glyphs were alien!"

Scully laughed. Feeling giddy, she wanted to poke Lara in the ribs for no reason. "Well, fine then, they were aliens. With stone protectors and magic shields and virus-carrying talismans..."

"You sound skeptical!"

"It's my job. I'm the skeptic. And my partner is the inspired genius slash spooky twit. I'm really good at my job."

"Even after what you have seen?"

"You mean today? I'm way too dehydrated and exhausted and annoyed and weary to give a rat's ass about what I've seen today. You mean, in my alien-hunting career with the FBI?" Scully paused to think about this for a second, never having thought about it quite like this before. "After all that I've seen... I'm more skeptical than ever before. I've just... broadened the horizons of topics that I am skeptical about."

Lara grinned, and then leaned over, whispering in a mock-serious tone, "Trust no one!"

Scully laughed out loud.

"I like your laugh."

Scully turned to the woman next to her, still grinning. "Thanks, I like your smile."

Lara's grin became wider as Scully's blush became deeper.

Conversation began, the two women feeling quite comfortable leaning against one another. They discussed Scully's career path, her partner, some of her more exciting cases, her sister, her father. When they got tired of sitting on the stone, Lara pulled item after item out of her pack, until they had enough tenting and raft and extra clothes to make something to sit on.

Then, Lara told Scully about her father, how she had never known her mother, how she had so adored and worshipped her father, learned everything from him, studied with him, and then lost him. How she couldn't function for so long.

They discussed loss. Grief. Fear. The people that held them together.

Scully couldn't remember the last time she had unloaded so much. It felt so liberating.

It almost didn't surprise her when Lara leaned over and kissed her.


Lara's eyes were bright and shining, looking deeper and darker than anything Scully had ever seen. Scully didn't have a chance to say anything. There were hands running down her sides, caressing her gently. There were lips tenderly touching her pressure points on her neck. There were thighs touching her thighs.

There was Lara.

Scully had never been with a woman. She had never thought about being with a woman. She had never questioned her lack of desire for women. She had never wanted this.

Lara straddled Scully, digging her hands into Scully's hair and kissing her harder than Scully could ever remember being kissed. When Lara pulled off, she was going to say something, but then Lara took her shirt off. She took her sports bra and bra off. She was topless on top of Scully.

Scully's hands reached up, cupping the breasts and circling the nipples with her thumbs. She had never been so aroused. This was the most beautiful woman Dana had ever seen, perfect form, aggressive and kick ass. She was taking Dana's clothes off, and she was surprised at how eagerly she was wiggling around to help. Surprised when her hands went around to run down that smooth and soft back, caressing. Surprised when Lara slipped her shorts off, removing the last of her gear. Surprised how her heartbeat peaked. Surprised when she found herself struggling to find places to lick and kiss and touch. Surprised by the pleasure those unbelievably thick lips were giving her. Surprised by how much those slim thin hands were driving her wild.

Surprise and pleasure joined to give Dana her first orgasm.

Surprised when it didn't stop there.

She had been studying biology and medicine for as long as she could remember. She couldn't believe how much she didn't know about her own body.

Or, how much she didn't know about the female body in general, as she quickly learned all kinds of new things with Lara.

Lying on her back with Lara above her and Lara's hand buried inside of her, she pulled the last tie out of Lara's hair, the curtain of dark brown silk coming around her face like a curtain. Dana arched her back and gave in to everything,

She awoke with her face in between Lara's breasts. Embarrassed, she tried to move up without disturbing the Lady underneath her.

"Up and about, Agent Scully?" Lara's teasing voice scared away the last of her sleep. "How's your arm?"


"I didn't notice earlier that it had been injured."

"Oh. It's fine." Scully felt relaxed, even though she was naked and there was another woman naked under her. She pushed her messy, sweaty hair out of her face distractedly. "I'm fine. And you?"

"Grand." Lara was teasing her, but she just smiled in return. She pointed upwards.

Scully looked up and was amazed to see a single ray of sunlight.

Blinking, she turned back to Lara to see her smirk. "I think more time than we realized passed since we were initially trapped."

Scully couldn't help it, she laughed out loud. They helped each other up, and helped each other dress. Scully couldn't believe how easy it was to just kiss her, just push their lips together, just touch. Couldn't believe that soon it would be impossible, but Scully knew that each ray of sunlight was marking time to an end.

"Still want your talisman?" Scully hadn't the slightest clue what Lara was talking about until she kicked the lid off of the sarcophagus. "I presume that it is in here." Lara pulled out the shield, smiling at it as she brushed the dust and ash away. Scully moved closer to look in, wrinkling her nose with distaste. She saw enough dead bodies in her life, she didn't need to go trekking through god-forsaken forests to see centuries old ones. "Ah, this is it!" And Lara pulled the chain surrounding the corpse's neck off, which sent more dust into the air.

Taking the proffered talisman, Scully muttered, "Ashes to ashes, dust..."

"Oh, don't get squeamish. At least this alien didn't release toxic gas or whatnot."

Grinning, Scully leaned over to kiss her, not realizing that that was the first time she had initiated a kiss. Lara did.

And it was all over so much sooner than Scully could have imagined. Just as they were finishing putting together Lara's things, a hole formed and a rope ladder fell down. Scully got to meet Bryce, a smallish man with horrific teeth, who really didn't fit the image of a gay man. He dithered and complained, Lara teased, and then they were all on a well-equipped Hummer.

The voyage down the river took nearly two days. The drive through the forest took less than eight hours. Sooner than Scully could have feared, they were in front of the hotel where fucking Mulder and that Dr. Vicki bitch were. Scully hopped out, trying to maintain her cheer, but that had long since evaporated in the sunlight.

"Well...." Scully wasn't sure what to do.

"Well! Keep me updated on the alien invasion, will you?" Lara's smile was harder to kill than Lara was.

"I think I should warn the aliens about you instead." Scully gave her a trademarked smirk, swinging the talisman as a thank you. Turning to leave, she changed her mind at the last minute, and leaned over to kiss her full on, with tongue and everything, for a long passionate minute. At the end of their last kiss, Lara was breathless and her eyes unfocused.

"Thanks, Lady Croft. I'll be thinking of you." A Scully smirk, followed by a Scully exit.

Lara Croft smiled, and ignored Bryce's wolf-whistle and teasing.


Mulder was excitedly talking to that weird guy with the infrared light theories. Scully couldn't be bothered to remember his name. As usual, nothing had been solved and they were just as confused about the whole alien mess as always.

Just fine by her.

Finally, the guy left, giving Scully an odd look as if he was expecting her to suddenly leap out of her chair and jump down his throat, presumably since she hadn't already. She smiled, and nearly laughed.


She looked up at her partner's face, amused by his quizzical lines. "Yeah?"

"You... okay?"

"Dandy." And she was still smiling.

"Uh... It's just that you haven't seem much like yourself since you got back from the temple."

"Is that bad?"

"I'm really sorry that I left you to find it by yourself." She grinned at him. "I'm really sorry about the natives." She shrugged. "And about that Dr. Vicki. You were right, she was a crock." She snorted. "I'm just plain sorry for the whole thing." She swung the talisman she still carried around her finger.

She almost burst out laughing at his desperation, but she figured that would just make him more nervous. "It's ok Mulder. You know, I'm just tired. I think I'll let you finish this up."

She was still grinning when she handed him the talisman.

Shaking his head, Mulder watched her leave, looking in the eyes of the copper snake eating its own tail. "That agent ain't right, I'll tell ya what."

Scully laughed as soon as she got in the elevator.