title: Iterations
fandom: Gundam Wing, Wish
characters/pairings: Trowa/Kohaku, Trowa/Quatre, Koryu
rating: G
warnings: fusion
summary: Trowa discovers something unexpected in a tree.
notes: for Shine Shuichi, her ficlet on demand. ^_^

Trowa was about to run out the door, but he caught sight of himself in the mirror as he was running past the sideboard. Sometimes, when he just barely saw himself out of the corner of his eye like that, he thought he could see something... someone else... Like there was someone else who was inside of him. It was just an impression, but he'd been having it ever since he was a child.

He stared into his own eyes, searching for signs of otherness. He saw the same thing he saw every day. He narrowed his eyes and looked harder.

He never saw anything when he looked, though.





It was later than it was supposed to be. He had stayed late with the vet to assist an emergency surgery on a terrier who had been hit by a car. The little guy was going to make it, but he probably wouldn't be able to walk again. Someone had just brought him in out of kindness; he had been a stray. Now, no one would want to take him in, because of all the care he would require. He had probably had a family at one point, but for whatever reason, they had turned him out onto the street.

Trowa huddled into his coat a bit deeper, scowling. He wondered sometimes why they had worked so hard to save humanity.

Perhaps Quatre wouldn't mind if they took him in. If he took him in... It wasn't like they were still living together. Quatre disliked Trowa's habit of taking in strays, but what was he to do? Leave the poor dog in a pound? A rescue shelter? A pound might put him down after they had decided he was too infirm, and most shelters were stretched too thinly to take in an animal that would be unlikely to be adopted.

Trowa wanted to start a rescue shelter of his own, but Quatre had vehemently argued against it, citing mysterious allergies that only reared their ugly heads when it was convenient for Quatre to display them. Not that Quatre was uncompassionate toward animals; he loved dogs. He just had a different idea of where they belonged in the house than Trowa did. Quatre liked to keep animals outside, where they wouldn't make a mess.

Sighing, he shoved his hands into his pockets as deeply as he could, and trudged on.

This was not the way to Quatre's. He was already late for a party. Social. Cocktail. Whatever. But ever since they had moved to Tokyo, Trowa had felt drawn to this area. He'd like to buy a house in this neighborhood, and keep as many dogs and cats as he liked. All the houses had such lovely, large yards, and were discreetly fenced off from one another.

And there was the tree. Trowa didn't know why, but the tree was a fascination to him. He thought it was... something. It felt important.

He felt like he loved the tree.

He stood in front of the massive, thick tree, and stared up into its branches, the criss-cross of foliage that wove a pattern over the sky. A deep, deep longing entered his heart. He had been missing something his whole life. When he was with the mercenaries, he had thought it was family. When he was with Catherine, he thought it was love. When he was with Quatre... when he was with Quatre, he felt completely lost sometimes, not knowing what it was about him that was so deficient. It was like he had an empty place inside his heart, inside his soul, and he was crippled without it.

Suddenly, he felt very tired, and his very bones ached. It no longer mattered how late he was to the party, or how long his day had been, or what was going to happen to that poor terrier. He just wanted, more than anything, to put his head down and not think.

He reached out, putting his hands on the tree, intending to rest his forehead against the back of his hands, but then something happened.

Something utterly unexpected.

There was a flash of light, and before he knew what was happening, he was falling on his rear, a slight, young boy in his arms.

"Shuichiro!" he cried out happily, throwing his arms around Trowa's neck.

This was definitely not what he expected. Nor did he expect to enjoy it quite so much.

"I've missed you so much! I feel like I've been waiting here for centuries... I'm so glad you found me again. You always find me." There was such warmth in his eyes, such naked, raw, and beautiful emotion, and Trowa felt his throat constrict.

He didn't understand. He didn't know this boy at all. He wasn't even his type. Well, he was blonde, but he was so... innocent? Young? Child-like?

But holding this boy in his arms... it affected him.

"Shuichiro, I'm so happy," he said, though his shining eyes spoke volumes more than his words. "I can't wait for us to start our lives again."

Trowa cleared his throat.

He threw his arms around Trowa's neck again, and started to cry. Trowa patted his back gently, and wondered what the hell he should do. Who the hell this 'Shuichiro' was, and why he had thought Trowa was him. How he could ever let him go, when everything inside of him was screaming to hold him as tightly as he could.

Trowa cleared his throat again, and tapped him on the shoulder.

"You're so dumb," an exasperated voice sighed. "He doesn't know who you are! Every damn time, you do the same dumb thing."

Trowa instinctively held him tighter, protectively, and glared at the source of the voice.

Another boy smirked at him, and stretched out to lounge on the brick fence. "I have to say, though, you're pretty lucky. He certainly did a good job of reincarnating this time. Just look at him... Mmmm, maybe I'll try a taste of him."

"Koryu!" the boy gasped, cuddling tighter against Trowa. "Go away!"

Two black cats leapt up onto the fence and started purring against the young man's body. He grinned, still leering at Trowa a little. He had long, inky black hair, styled most fashionably. He wore a ripped up, sleeveless, black vinyl shirt, which didn't quite meet the matching pants. He had a pretty face, with lips that begged for attention. Logically, Trowa knew that he should be attracted to this boy. He looked the type that normally got Trowa's blood to rush a little.

But all he could think was that this boy, this Koryu, was frightening the lovely boy in his arms.

Koryu sighed, petting each black cat in turn. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway, because it's going to be dark soon, and you still haven't mastered keeping your form at all times, Kohaku. Better be careful... Someone might decide to up and grab him away right under your nose."

The boy, Kohaku, meeped and snuggled up tight against him. Trowa decided he'd had enough. He stood up, picking up the boy easily as he did. He was surprisingly light. He glared at the boy on the fence. "Leave him alone."

"Oh, protective, too!" Koryu beamed, sitting up. "How lovely! Well, here's the skinny, tall, glowering, and sexy - that boy in your arms is an angel, and he's been living here on earth for quite some time now. You're the reincarnation of his forever and ever soul mate, originally Shuichiro Kudo, which is why he popped out when you touched the tree. I'm a demon, and I've been tormenting Kohaku for a long time, although at this point, the whole song and dance has gotten so played out it's boring. Ah, and finally..." He smirked, looking significantly from Kohaku, glaring gamely at him from Trowa's arms, to the sky. "When it becomes night, you're going to have a lot less Kohaku to deal with."

Trowa was about to tell Koryu what he could do with his threat, when Kohaku made that meeping noise again. Trowa looked down, and suddenly...

He looked just like a small child. A small child with the face and eyes of an adult.

Trowa stared at him, flabergasted.

He didn't hear Koryu's chuckles, or sense him coming closer, but Koryu was gathering the shadows around him in a very demonly manner, so it was understandable. Trowa did notice it when Koryu leaned over Kohaku, ignoring his burst of protest, to plant a wet, deep kiss on him.

It would have been hard not to notice that.

"Be seeing you!" Koryu smiled cheerfully, waving goodbye. "C'mon, ladies..."

The two cats were now two girls, and they followed after him with the same enthusiasm the cats had shown for him.

Trowa blinked. The boy in his arms - the child - cuddled up tight against his chest. "That Koryu! Why does he always have to pick on me?"

Trowa looked down the lane where Koryu disappeared, as if the answer might have been left behind.

"Can we go home now? I hate being out when I'm small."

Trowa sighed.





Quatre let himself into Trowa's - his - house. He was breathing evenly and slowly, and he was not going to let himself get carried away with emotions. He felt sometimes like he was fighting tooth and nail to keep their relationship alive, and Trowa was just aimlessly drifting away from him all the same.

Fortunately for the both of them, Quatre was not the type to give up without a fight.

Quatre followed the trail of light on the floor to the living room. He slide back the traditional Japanese door quietly...

And then felt his jaw drop off.

Trowa was sitting in the middle of the room, his back up against the arm of the easy chair Quatre had bought for him, reading. With a child snuggled up in his lap. His hand was over the child's shoulder, protectively.

Quatre gaped.

Trowa looked up, and immediately looked guilty.

Damn. Quatre could never stay mad at him as long as he felt guilty.

"Quatre... I'm sorry I missed the party... I got delayed..."

"I can see that. Who is this boy?"

Trowa looked down at him, and Quatre's entire gastrointestinal system twisted at the affection visible in Trowa's eyes. "Kohaku."

Quatre shook his head. "And who is Kohaku?"

Trowa went silent. "It's... complicated."

"Is it?" Quatre asked icily.

Trowa sighed, absently running his fingers through Kohaku's flossy golden hair.

Quatre thought he might be ill right there on the hand-woven Persian rug.

"I'm sorry," Trowa offered blankly. "It's been a long day. Can we get a terrier?"

Quatre felt his brain shift inside his skull. "What?!"

"There was one at work today, he was brought in..."

"Don't you think there are enough strays in the house as it is?" Quatre snapped, irritated. Irritated at Trowa for blowing him off, and irritated at this boy, for curling up in Trowa's lap, and irritated at himself, for still being so affected by it all, after all this time.

Trowa sighed, and Quatre hated the sound, like Trowa was enduring so much to put up with him. "Hear me out, please. It was a horrible case. The poor dog..."

"Trowa," Quatre interrupted sharply. "What has that got to do with this?"

Trowa shifted his position, and that appeared to have woken up the boy, who blinked owlishly at the both of them. Quatre was astonished to see his eyes; they were not the eyes of a child.

"Hi!" He managed to be chirpy even when half asleep. "Who are you?"

Quatre couldn't speak, but he didn't have to; Trowa soothed him gently, and explained. "This is a friend of mine, Quatre."

"Friend?" Quatre sighed. "Trowa, can I have a word with you... in private?"

Trowa reluctantly settled Kohaku on a pillow on the floor, and got up to follow Quatre out into the hallway.

Quatre counted to one hundred, slowly, and then he looked up into Trowa's fathomless, dark green eyes. "Trowa, have I done something wrong? Have I... have I been unreasonable? Have I done something to drive you away?"

Trowa shook his head, taken aback.

Quatre sighed. "I know you aren't comfortable in luxury. I grew up with it, so I don't think about it, but you know I'd be perfectly happy living in a house like this. I know you need your space, and I'm trying to give it to you, but it feels like we just keep taking steps back, and we never move forward anymore."

He reached out to touch Trowa on the arm, and Trowa immediately put his hand over Quatre's.

Feeling reassured, Quatre barreled on. "Look, if you... if you aren't interested anymore... if you want to... if you... Trowa, you're the most important person in the world to me, and I need you in my life. I'd like to get back some of that trust, that intimacy we had right after the war, but if you aren't ready for that... if you... If you think we need to... sever our relationship, don't - don't leave me hanging, all right? Because if we can't be anything else, I'd want us to always be friends."

Trowa didn't know what to say in the face of that, so he leaned down and kissed Quatre soundly. Quatre could feel his face flushing and his ears buzzing. He reached up for Trowa, wanting more, wanting everything he could get...

There was a soft noise, like a meep, and Trowa broke off the kiss. Trowa was looking back at the door to the living room, clearly torn.

Quatre sighed. "Who is he to you?"

Trowa shook his head. "I don't know yet."





Kohaku bounced in his chair. Trowa had taken him to his work. He had expected Trowa to work in a hospital, but Trowa worked at a veterinary clinic. He was training to be a vet himself. Kohaku found himself absolutely giddy. If possible, he was even more in love with Trowa than he had been with any of his previous incarnations, although he thought that about each of them. Trowa was so gentle and kind, his soft eyes always warm when they looked down on Kohaku, his powerful hands soothing and comforting... He cared so much about all the animals around them, and he loved the way that Kohaku maintained their garden.

He thought of it as 'their's,' but he knew that he didn't fill out the duo in Trowa's life.

He wanted to be happy for Trowa, he wanted to like Quatre, but... never before had his soul mate been attached to anyone else. Koryu teased him that Trowa was in love, and that the only thing he could ever hope for was friendship. He told him about all the things that Quatre could do to and for Trowa, with his money and with their shared history, and he knew that he could never take Quatre's place in Trowa's life.

Sometimes, Trowa would spend the night at Quatre's house, and Kohaku never felt such cold despair as those long, lonely nights alone. More often, Quatre would come to Trowa's house, but he didn't always spend the night.

They seemed to argue a lot, but Kohaku was certain they could work out their differences, if they just talked to each other. Trowa was quiet and reserved, but Kohaku had learned to read Shuichiro in all his forms, and he was sure that Quatre could read Trowa just as easily.

Trowa was so endearingly expressive sometimes. It made Kohaku blush to even think of the small ways that Trowa showed his affections, like when he made freshly squeezed orange juice, even when he was running late, or the way that he would brush Kohaku's hair out of his face...

And he was so handsome! Even more so than Shuichiro himself, though Kohaku wasn't really interested in his body, unlike that fiend Koryu. But it did make things a little... more pleasant.

Kohaku was smitten. No, no, he was head over heels in love, desperately, passionately, completely, and fully in love.

But Trowa had Quatre.

Quatre disliked Kohaku intensely. He could see it in Quatre's eyes. Trowa could see it, too, and he tried to keep them separate, but it wasn't always possible. When Quatre first watched him transform, there had been such horror in his face. It made Kohaku feel... bad. Like there was something wrong with him.

He loved Trowa. He only wanted him to be happy. He would have to find a way to win Quatre over, so that he could still be Trowa's friend. That was all there was to it.

"Kohaku?" Trowa's gently teasing voice brought him out of his giddy reverie. He had left Kohaku in the chairs while he had consulted with a patient, but they were ready to go back to the kennels now. He was so excited! Trowa always spoke of this place with such kindness.

Trowa let him play with all the animals while he tended to their care. Some were here because they were very sick, and they needed to stay with the doctors. Those, he handled with the greatest of care, cooing at them as he treated them. Others were here because their caretakers were away. Those, he played with and let run wild a bit, after all that time in the cage.

Kohaku was even more in love with Trowa! He was just so kind to the animals!!

Then he met Jackie.

Jackie was the terrier that had been hit by a car. Jackie had no home to go to, so he lived at the vet's office temporarily while they tried to find a place for him where he wouldn't be put down. Jackie was all black, and his rump rested in this tiny doggie wheelchair. Only one of his front legs was really good, so when he jogged up to greet Trowa, he was hobbling on one leg, dragging himself around on wheels, his whole body bouncing with the effort.

Kohaku cried. "Oh, this poor animal!" Falling to his knees, he scooped him up carefully so as not to aggravate his wounds, and cradled him to his chest. "We have to take him home! We have to care for him!!"

Trowa sighed, kneeling beside him. "I want to, too, but... I don't want to antagonize Quatre. He's already... a little stressed about the... living arrangements."

Kohaku's tears poured down his cheeks. "It's my fault. I'm keeping you from taking him home. And I'm the reason that Quatre is angry at you. I'm so sorry, Trowa, I'll leave, I promise, I won't bother you anymore, I'll go back to the tree, and I'll leave you and Quatre alone."

"No!" Trowa protested, obviously louder than he had intended. He blushed, and put his hand on Kohaku's shoulder. "No, don't be silly. I'd rather have you with me than even Jackie. Please, don't go."

Their faces were inches apart. They were both staring into each other's eyes. Kohaku's heart was pounding in his chest. Their lips were so close...

"Trowa, did you give the Anderson's dog his shot yet? He's going to be going home tonight, and we need to make sure he's had the full course of antibiotics."

Trowa pushed himself away, blinking up at Dr. Su. "Yes. Yes, I took care of it."

Kohaku bent his head down, petting Jackie's head tenderly. They had been so close...





The best part of his day was watching the little fool water the garden. He had finally gotten the hang of doing things on earth without tripping over his own feet, but it was only when he was watering that he was totally unconscious of himself.

Koryu didn't mind watching him so much anymore. He had gotten over the whole angst thing. But the little fool did need a helping hand from time to time.

When he was done, and he was straightening up the living room, Koryu decided to appear. Kohaku should consider himself lucky, because he was wearing his best clothes, and he had gone to extra measures to look super sexy.

Of course, Kohaku didn't have a damned sex drive, so it was fairly moot.

Kohaku jumped when he saw him, making that cute meep sound. He loved that sound. "Koryu! What are you doing here?"

He smiled and stretched out on the couch, displaying his body perfectly. In a sweet, sing-songy voice, he informed him, "I've done you a favor..."

"What?" He definitely didn't trust him. Not that he should...

Before he could ask him anything, though, they heard the front door unlock. Trowa was still at the clinic, so they both knew who it was. Koryu disappeared into the cushions, and for the millionth time, Kohaku wished that he could do the same. Koryu grinned invisibly as he watched him flutter.

Quatre slipped into the living room, obviously taken aback that he was there. "Ah. Kohaku. O-of course, you're here..."

"Quatre! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you, I was just cleaning, I can leave if you want!"

"No, no," he waved him down absently. "Don't think of it. I was just leaving this... Kohaku, can I ask you something?"

"Oh! Yes, of course!"

Quatre swallowed hard. "You... you've known Trowa from a previous life, right?"

"Y-yes..."

"And you love him?"

Kohaku was silent for a long time, hanging his head in shame. Koryu rolled his eyes. He was such a fool! "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get in the middle of you two. I know... I know that Trowa's in love with you. I just... I hoped that we could be friends..."

"I know," Quatre said warmly, and Kohaku blinked in shock, his mouth agape. "I think... I think that Trowa and I have been growing apart for some time now. I don't know that you really needed to come between us. But... I'm glad that you did. I'm glad that there will be someone to take care of him when I'm gone."

"Huh?" Kohaku stared at Quatre. Koryu almost laughed out loud.

Quatre held out a small, creamy white envelope, and a set of keys. "Please have Trowa read this. And please, take care of him. I hope that we can all be friends, soon."

He put the card and the keys in Kohaku's hands, and kissed his cheek gently.

He stared blindly at him until he left.

Koryu couldn't keep from laughing any more. He thought he was going to fall off the couch.

Kohaku sputtered. "What... What's so funny?"

Koryu grinned up at him. "You are, fish face. Now see? I told you I did you a favor, and I did. Now you owe me."

Kohaku flushed. "What? You think you had something to do with this?"

Koryu stood up and sauntered over to him. "There was a big fancy ball last night. Costumes. Really glitzy. I went as one of the beautiful people... I danced, I flirted... I went back to the house of a prominent young quadrillionaire, where a night of passionate fun was had by all." Koryu's eyes gleamed with knowing delight, and Kohaku blushed at the thought of it. "We talked. He has been wanting to go back to L4 for a while now, and I... helped him to see the error of his ways."

"You didn't do anything bad to him, did you?" Kohaku's eyes got puffy. "Trowa's going to be so upset! His boyfriend cheated on him, and now he's leaving...!"

Koryu sighed. "Everyone's boyfriend cheats on them with me. That's just the way I am. But that's not the point... The point is, your Trowa is mad for you. Everyone on the whole fucking planet gets that but the two of you. He just... is too damn kind to dump blondie there, so I helped blondie to dump him. End of story." Koryu beamed. "Now... as I said... you owe me."

Kohaku's eyes widened. "Whatever you are thinking, forget it! I'm not letting you do any bad things, and I'm certainly not going to let you... let you... do anything with Trowa!"

Koryu loved the fierce gleam in his eyes. He leaned over Kohaku, putting one hand on either shoulder. "Who said anything about Trowa?"

When he was done kissing the angel, he was too dazed to do anything but sit down on the floor right where he had been standing. Koryu floated away proudly. When Trowa got home, he would tearfully tell him the news, and then Trowa would explain to him that he didn't mind so much, and they could go on to do sickeningly sweet things to each other for the rest of his life.

Time for Koryu to move on to more interesting things, at least until the next iteration.

He wondered what Hisui and Kokuyo were up to these days...








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