Spam Test

by Hotspur

Disclaimer: Characters owned by DC Comics and borrowed without permission, just for fun.

Pairing: Jack/Sand

Rating: NC-17

"Hey, Jack!" Sand yelled down the hall.

"Yesh?" Jack called back around his toothbrush.

"Do we need to know how to enlarge our penises?"

Jack choked and grimaced at the spray of toothpaste now spattered across the bathroom mirror. "Sand, quit reading the spam," he complained.

"But Jack, who knows when we might need this valuable information?"

Jack spit into the sink and rinsed his mouth. "Penile enlargement? I don't remember you complaining last night."

Sand's face appeared in the mirror, wearing a grin. He lounged in the doorway for a moment, then stepped into the bathroom to wrap his arms around Jack's waist. He planted a kiss between Jack's shoulder blades. "Nah, I think you fit me about perfectly," he murmured.

Jack could feel Sand's cock stirring against the back of his thigh where the line of his ass met his leg. "Mmmm," Jack commented, leaning back against his lover's chest. "Seems like you might have some ideas of where you might fit."

Sand kissed the juncture of Jack's neck and shoulder. "Maybe," Sand hedged. "But I seem to recall the reason for today's early waking had something to do with getting the shop open early?"

"Right," Jack remembered, his eyes meeting Sand's in the mirror through the speckles of toothpaste.

Sand dropped another kiss on his shoulder. "Don't look so disappointed," he lectured. "I can still help you get ready."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Sand's arms cinched around his waist for a moment, pulling him close. Then Sand reached out and found the shaving brush and soap by the edge of the sink.

Jack watched for a second as Sand began swirling the brush in the soap. "Sand, this is looking suspiciously more like a bad comedy set up than-"

"Shh," Sand interrupted, his eyes again meeting Jack's in the mirror. Then with careful strokes, he began lathering Jack's face. Jack's eyes closed and he moaned a little at the unexpectedly competent touch. Sand pressed hard against his back, giving his arms the maximum amount of mobility they could have while still reaching around Jack's torso.

The brush tickled under Jack's nose, whispered below his ear. He heard Sand set down the soap and brush and opened his eyes. His face was perfectly lathered, and now Sand...

Jack's eyes widened a little as Sand's hands picked up the straight edged razor. "Uh, Sand," he hesitated. "The lather is one thing, but..."

"Jack." Again Sand's eyes met his in the mirror, full of seriousness. "I was shaving with a straight edge before you were born," he pointed out.

"Yeah, for how long?" Jack questioned, glancing nervously down at the blade.

Sand's free hand pressed against Jack's chest, pulling him tighter to Sand's body. "Long enough," he breathed into Jack's ear. "Now be still."

Jack swallowed and nodded, earning a reprimanding squeeze from Sand.

"I said still."

"Okay," Jack agreed, watching the razor approach his cheek. The blade whispered through his stubble, leaving a clear swath on his cheek. Sand *was* good with the straight edge; Jack could feel he had shaved more closely than Jack could have done without a hint of razor burn.

Another careful pass with the blade revealed more clean skin. Jack was almost holding his breath as Sand carefully scraped away the whiskers under his nose, urged his chin up to deal with the wanna-be beard. In his boxers, he felt his cock getting hard, while Sand's remained partially erect against the top of his thigh.

Finally Sand rinsed the razor one last time and dried it carefully on a towel before wiping the last remnants of lather from Jack's face. Then he stepped back and urged Jack to turn around. His hands brushed over Jack's cheeks, and he smiled. "Smooth as Teddy's bottom."

Jack gave him a half-glare, pushing into him a little so he could feel the hardness of his cock. "I don't want to think about Teddy right now," he growled, burying his lips against the side of Sand's neck.

Sand laughed lightly and patted Jack's back for a moment before pushing him back. "Store to open, remember?"

"Fuck the store," Jack argued, pushing Sand back against the towel rack.

Sand accepted one kiss before turning his head with a smile. "You don't mean that, and I won't have you cranky because you missed out on an - what's it you're expecting this morning?"

Jack had lowered his face to lathe at one of Sand's nipples, but now raised his head. "A 1909 Marconi. Dammit, I have to..." He sighed in frustration, his face pressed against Sand's chest.

Sand ran his hand through Jack's hair. "What time is the man coming?"

"Eight. And he won't wait. I know he's got other potential-"

"It's now seven thirty-nine," Sand noted, pushing Jack back against the sink vanity.

Sand's hands wound into the waist of Jack's boxers, and Jack started. "Sand-"

Sand dropped to his knees, lowering Jack's boxers as he moved. "You can get dressed in five minutes," Sand pointed out. Then his tongue began a slow glide from the center of Jack's sac to the tip of his cock.

"Oghmm... Sand..."

Sand switched to making nibbling motions with his lips and followed a return trip back to Jack's balls. He stretched out his tongue to roll first one, then the other testicle, and Jack gasped as his cock stiffened further.

"Sand, I can't-"

"Shut up, Jack," Sand ordered, pressing his thumb against the space between Jack's balls and his asshole. "Just go with the flow."

Jack swallowed hard, then bellowed as Sand suddenly did his own swallowing - taking Jack's cock deep in his throat. Sand wasn't wasting a trick, palming Jack's balls and teasing his asshole as his tongue and throat massaged every surface of Jack's cock. Jack could feel Sand's nose rubbing through his pubes, felt his chin bounce against his balls. He ran his hands through Sand's blond hair. "Oh, Sand, damn, just like - ohh -" He gasped, then, as Sand abruptly lifted his head and caught Jack's wrists, pressing them back against the sink.

Jack's eyes cracked open, and he saw Sand sitting there, watching him. Cool air brushed over Jack's spit slick cock. "Sand?"

Sand leaned back on his heels, still watching Jack's face and not releasing his hands.

"Sand... don't... oh, please..." Jack tried to thrust his hips toward Sand's mouth, and Sand pulled back a little further.

Sand's eyes dropped to Jack's cock. "Seven forty-six," he commented. "Time's getting tight."

"Sand, please..."

"It is a pretty cock," Sand remarked.

"Sand, I need... dammit... Sand..."

Sand blew a little over Jack's cock, and the touch of breath made Jack's cock jump. "Mmm, active, too," Sand appreciated.

"Sand, please, please, let me finish. Oh, god, Sand..."

Sand raised his eyes. "Are you watching, Jack?"

"Fuck, yes. Sand..."

"Watch, Jack." Sand's eyes were locked on Jack's as he leaned closer to Jack's cock. "Just keep watching. Don't stop watching, Jack."

Jack found himself riveted, sucked into the earnestness of Sand's eyes.

"Jack, just-"

"OH GOD!" Jack screamed, his cock without warning once more sucked into Sand's throat. "Fuck, Sand, oh, god, fuck, yes, yes, OHHFMMMMM!"

Jack fought to keep his knees from buckling as he exploded into Sand's mouth. He felt Sand's mouth continuing to work him over, swallowing his seed. Then he felt Sand's hands, gentle, loving, smoothing over the length of his cock. His boxers were drawn back over his hips, the waistband settled in place. Soft lips traced a path up his belly, up his chest, up his chin, finally finding his lips. A couple of soft kisses, and then Sand: "Open your eyes, Jack."

Jack obeyed, gazing adoringly at his lover.

"You've got seven minutes," Sand reminded him. "Go."

Jack gasped and dashed out of the bathroom, grateful he had already decided the day's outfit. He thrust his legs into a pair of black jeans and reached for a vintage shirt. He was hopping on one foot putting on socks when Sand appeared in the doorway.

"You're right, you know," Sand observed.

Jack glanced up as he jammed his feet into his shoes. "What?"

"Your penis fits perfectly." Sand licked his lips and smiled.

Jack grinned back and ripped a kiss from his lover's lips as he dashed down to open the store. "I love you," he called behind him.

Sand smiled to himself and leaned against the doorway, watching Jack's disappearing back. "I love you, too," he whispered.